Most ridiculous title you’ve seen on LinkedIn? Bonus points for their real job title

likefunnyhelpfulupliftingsmart
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A1 rude 😂

likefunnyupliftingsmarthelpful

Donald Trump - “45th president of the US”
(Not on LinkedIn though, but just as ridiculous)

likefunnysmart

47th soon

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likefunnysmarthelpful

Yea, it’s in Canada

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"Incoming analyst at ...”

likefunnysmarthelpful

Hahah wow this is the biggest reverse catfish. They have so much hope, but so little comprehension

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Organizational effectiveness consultant

likefunnysmart

Penetration Tester

likefunnysmart

Yes, we even have a "Head of penetration testing" The grin on his LinkedIn pic says it all...

likefunny

Influencer.

likefunnysmartupliftinghelpful

“Founder at [one person LLC they ‘own’]"

likefunnysmarthelpful

I think they're referring to people who create an LLC to fill employment gaps, but their LLC doesn't actually do anything. Like John Doe gets laid off and is suddenly founder at JD Consulting LLC with exactly zero clients and zero revenue. It's laughable.

likeupliftingfunny

Scrum master

likefunny

"Chief Imagination Officer"

likefunnyupliftingsmarthelpful

Incoming Interviewee Candidate

likefunnyuplifting

Strategic dot connector

likefunnysmarthelpful

Technology Evangelist

likefunnysmart

Chief storytelling officer

likefunnysmart

You think this is silly? I think it’s cool! Very common in higher ed and municipalities. A sort of combination of marketing and institutional historian using stories as a conduit.

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Tanning Consultant, Sandwhich Artist

likefunnyuplifting

Fellow sandwich artist checking in. You had to earn that title...they didn't just give it to you day 1.

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Thought leader

likefunny

2006 Time Magazine Person of the Year.


This person was also a “Scrum Master"


Save you the Google: 2006 Time Person of the Year was “You”.

likefunnysmart

A27 had to interview someone and that was their number 1 accomplishment. I made them explain it, even though I knew. They did not get hired.

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This one was mine at one point: Senior Manager, Global Biscuits Strategy

likefunny

My type of strategy!

Chief Millennial Officer

likefunnysmart

“Catalyst” - this was a real title at my company

likefunny

Related Posts

Got promoted from manager to senior manager and salary increase and alleged bonus was embedded into the compensation increase of only 12% increase. Seems very low. Is this common at a mid size public accounting firm ?

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Anyone take a strat role at a bank- how does this fair out in TC against roles at other banks? (T1 City, 8-10yoe) Wells Fargo Strategy VP Comp:
Base: $195-210k, Bonus 40k-55k

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So I am at my first job after college. They lied about a lot of things. It is not diverse, it is not inclusive. Other issues is the management is clueless and I’m contemplating weather I should start looking for other jobs after only being here for 5 months. I would have to pay back relocation and bonus unless I stay here for 2 years. Any thoughts? I need advice on this

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Hi All, I got a offer at BNP Paribas Chennai, 21 Lakhs, my current CTC IS 15 lakhs fixed, here we don't have any bonus. BNP is saying they have bonus component on top of CTC. I'm ok to relocate to Chennai from Hyderabad. Not how would be the hikes and bonuses BNP Paribas.
I have 10 years of experience in change and Transformations & project Management.
Could you please advise is it a good deal. How would be hikes,bonuses any other allowances.

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Hi! Wanted to get thoughts from those who have exited to a startup from MBB/T2. Have an offer from a series C start up — would take ~$20k base cut but with bonus (annually) would make about 25k more TC plus RSUs. Much better WLB and great people. Is the base cut normal? Thoughts?

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Topic: concurrency, multi threading, transactional,
Spring, hibernate

I have a requirement to insert a row in database only if it meets following requirements
Ex: there is a column "points", a new record should be inserted only if points in the new record is greater than highest points already inserted in db or else throw that points are less

How i should approach this if i get lot of requests (say 10k) all a time. How can I achieve consistency and handle with less response time

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TCS HR is negotiating me and offering 9.5 LPA with 1 lakh bonus amount over 8.93 offer of IBM in which 8.3 is in hand. And i demand for 12 LPA as QA Automation engineer total 3.8 year of experience. Should i stick to 12 lpa and join IBM at 8.93?

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I need to make a decision by tomorrow:
Current base salary: $55k
Current bonus: 10.5% (~$5k)
Vacation: 2 weeks
*been with company for 4 years. Started as a product data analyst out of school.

New offer base salary: $90k
Bonus: 12% (~11k)
Vacation: 3 weeks

Counter offer: $80k
Bonus: 14% (~11k)
Vacation: 3 weeks

The new offer would require significantly more travel. I have a young family and value time at home. My heart is telling my to take the counter offer from my company.

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Hi I was promised a joining bonus and relocation allowance verbally by TCS HR but I don't see any mention in the offer letter, I have sent mail for clarification but what should I do?

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Any recommendations for software that helps you manage compensation reviews, bonus/STI/LTI admin, sales ops/commissions, and headcount planning in one?

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Who ultimately decides the compensation offered to a candidate when being hired? Recruiter only? Hiring manager? Trying to figure out what aspects of the offer are owned by each person involved in the recruiting process (salary, sign-on bonus, level, etc).

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Interview with Accenture for Management consultant position with an MBA and 2 years of previous consulting experience at Big 4 living in Atlanta. What should be my salary and sign on bonus expectation

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Which month the yearly bonus is given at BGSW? For joiners mid-year how bonus will be calculated?

Hi - Can someone help me with other benefits at band 9 in IBM India. I am having an offer with IBM India of 65L/ 12 YoE for a Strategy Role.
How has been history wrt Year End Bonus and Avg Increments? Thanks

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TikTok Offer for Business Operations — TC 305k
Base: 175k
Bonus: 25%
Stock: 350k
Sign on: 40k

Is this a good offer? Have heard WLB is awful in the SF office?

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Hi fishes,
When can we expcet our increment and bonus from EY india it’s already September

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Hey SF @salesforce folks 👋 wondering if anyone can weigh in on an offer I received for Bay Area and whether I can/should push for more. Role is senior manager in biz ops/strategy. 190k base, $65k RSUs over 4 years, bonus non-negotiable at 15% and no sign-on bonus. Thanks in advance!

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What’s the comp (base + bonus) for post MBA roles at Mbb in Toronto?

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Is investment banking bonus getting cut this year? JPM and MS earnings didn’t look too good

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More Posts

Anyone hearing noise about layoffs?

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Looking for TAS Healthcare experienced Senior Manager looking to build their own team, have a fair amount of autonomy and plenty of PE/corporate buyer clients/referral sources day one

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Larsen & Toubro Infotech I got an offer from LTI of 13 lpa. I am having 4 years of experience so should I go for it or negotiate this. Larsen & Toubro Infotech
Fixed is 12.4 lacs
Variable 60k

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Looking to connect with individuals who are on the market for a new home in Austin. Preferably new builds and/or considering buying a lot and building on their own. Resale is okay too! Hit my up in my DMs. Will venmo you for a cup of coffee for ~15-20min of your time.

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Tips for cutting down on ‘gossip’ at work. I feel like sometimes I can get too casual with the people I speak to regularly and can overthink a comment or two.

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Pls DM if interested asap Impetus technologies inc

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Do you ever get overwhelmed by the number of software programs you have to use at work?

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What are the best things to do in the Boston area during the summer? I'm very new and originally from Nevada so don't really have a pulse on New England summer.

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For Health Advances fish - is firm asking you to come in-person? If so, how often?

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How much do you take home after tax and maxing pre tax 401k while making 144k? Not sure if I'm doing something wrong with my withholding. I'm married filing jointly withholding at a single rate, 1 federal and 1 state. DC location. I'm only taking home $6k a month.

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24.5 LPA for a solution architect role in TCS.
Is the ask is high or low for 8+ yoe with javaa, aws

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Ex healthcare workers in Tech/Sales Engineering/ Healthcare consulting;
I have my masters in nursing/FNP (1 yr) making <K70 (Indiana) due to low patient census in my role. No desire for a different FNP job nor to return to bedside nursing (RN 5 yrs). I have heard of some individuals with remote positions making >K100 with little to no experience in tech or consulting after doing a boot camp or cert?
If you pivoted; What’s your current role/ Income & what did you do to complete the transition?

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Hi fishes...I had quoted my expected CTC as 22 lpa to Citi , I am still awaiting their offer. However now I have another offer in hand with 21.2 lpa fixed with variable of 7lpa. How much more can I ask from Citi . YOE 6.9 yrs CTC 16

Really need to go back to spelling! Anyone ever teach spelling words through Greek and Latin words? Or have any other suggestions? My district “gives up” on spelling around grade 3

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Current IBD Analysts/Associates/maybe VPs- when you have a networking chat with an undergrad, do you typically have a hit list of topics to discuss? I have a general list, but want to hear everyone’s

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What is a good brand of watch to get for my fiancé? Budget around 4-5k.

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what is the average cost of living(minimalist life) in bangalore for 2 people for location like Whitefield.

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Is there a “The logic of subchapter K” equivalent book for c-corporations?

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It was great meeting all of you!!! 🙌

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What’s your view on the rest of Deloitte calling us names?

Additional Posts in Consulting

Just walked into the kitchen at the client and was hit with some nostalgia - someone warmed up a wild berry poptart in the toaster

likefunnyuplifting

matched with a senior manager at my firm on tinder, really been really hitting it off well. should i ask for a charge code for this? need more utilization

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2nd year senior using another offer as leverage to be made manager. Realistic?

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How would you react - honestly - if a manager responded to your weekend request by saying “Sorry, I can’t field this request until Monday. I found out a close family member has cancer and need this weekend for personal time.”

likefunny

Tax question: if I am eligible for stimulus check based on 2018 taxes, but wont be once I submit 2019, will I have to pay back the stimulus funds?

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Maybe I’m out of the loop…but how are all these consultants on here making low to mid six figures with 3 years industry experience? Perhaps I’m just in the wrong industries but that seems too short a time to be advising others in a field. Are these just internet exaggerations? Or is there something big I’m missing?

likefunnyuplifting

what difference does 109% vs. 100% utilization make at Year End? Latter basically means you took your PTO, former means you worked every minute of the year (Consulting, S&O)

My back kills me every time I get off the plane and I end up spending a bunch of money on massages. Any idea if I can get medical coverage for that type of thing?

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Single parent here, have teenage kids(14 and 17) at home. Any experience with live in Au Pair or Nanny, any pointers on finding good ones

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Any 🐠 at #HRTechConf?

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Unpopular opinion: I think virtual trivia is boring

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"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."

likeuplifting

After working with several IB clients this year, I can confirm that they’re on the blacklist for life. I don’t care how much money you’re making, manners are free and easily obtained.

likefunny

How does splitting bonuses with a refer-ee work? I see that on here a bunch but how does that work logistically with taxes and income reporting and etc?

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Is it safe to hide the fact that I was part of a group layoff and say instead that I chose to leave? Can recruiters find out the truth from my former employer and hurt my chances?

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All these NBA teams privately funding COVID-19 test. Which firm going to privately fund their consultants to get tested first?

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Can you get fired from underperforming on first engagement? Been on the project (very understaffed) for 3 months and although I don’t think I’m doing poorly, the thought just crossed my mind.

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How much did you spend on trips/recreational activities in business school (NOT rent or general food expenses)? Trying to budget!

likesmart

Headed to Boston this weekend. Never been. Can anyone recommend any cool restaurants in Boston? Dont really have a cuisine preference but looking for somewhere trendy and lively.

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In talks and curious to find out more about EY FSO. Any info?

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