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Most ridiculous title you’ve seen on LinkedIn? Bonus points for their real job title

likefunnyhelpfulupliftingsmart
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When I was an Analyst my manager asked me to update my LinkedIn title to “Consultant we don’t want stakeholders thinking you are very junior”.... months later found out we had a higher rate card for consultants vs analysts

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Hahahahaha mine used to be Jr. stimulation engineer (aka 1) and then I got promoted to Sr. Stimulation engineer (fracturing/oil and gas well completions) - made for great business cards and I thought I had kept some but I haven’t been able to find rhem

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Have worked with stimulation engineers. Fun times with the O&G peeps.

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A1 rude 😂

likefunnyupliftingsmarthelpful

Donald Trump - “45th president of the US” (Not on LinkedIn though, but just as ridiculous)

likefunnysmart

Make em mad!

This

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likefunnysmarthelpful

Yea, it’s in Canada

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Organizational effectiveness consultant

likefunnysmart

"Incoming analyst at ...”

likefunnysmarthelpful

Hahah wow this is the biggest reverse catfish. They have so much hope, but so little comprehension

Penetration Tester

likefunnysmart

Yes, we even have a "Head of penetration testing" The grin on his LinkedIn pic says it all...

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Influencer.

likefunnysmartupliftinghelpful

“Founder at [one person LLC they ‘own’]"

likefunnysmarthelpful

I think they're referring to people who create an LLC to fill employment gaps, but their LLC doesn't actually do anything. Like John Doe gets laid off and is suddenly founder at JD Consulting LLC with exactly zero clients and zero revenue. It's laughable.

likeuplifting

Scrum master

likefunny

"Chief Imagination Officer"

likefunnyupliftingsmarthelpful

Incoming Interviewee Candidate

likefunnyuplifting

Strategic dot connector

likefunnysmarthelpful

Technology Evangelist

likefunnysmart

Chief storytelling officer

likefunnysmart

You think this is silly? I think it’s cool! Very common in higher ed and municipalities. A sort of combination of marketing and institutional historian using stories as a conduit.

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Tanning Consultant, Sandwhich Artist

likefunnyuplifting

Fellow sandwich artist checking in. You had to earn that title...they didn't just give it to you day 1.

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Thought leader

likefunny

2006 Time Magazine Person of the Year. This person was also a “Scrum Master" Save you the Google: 2006 Time Person of the Year was “You”.

likefunnysmart

It’s actually pretty funny

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Chief Millennial Officer

likefunnysmart

This one was mine at one point: Senior Manager, Global Biscuits Strategy

likefunny

Amazing!!!

“Catalyst” - this was a real title at my company

likefunny

Related Posts

Gets 50 likes on something, total points only go up by two. Oh ok

likefunny

Honeymoon destinations for November? Was planning on the Ritz in the Maldives on points but the remote prospect of testing positive while in the Maldives and having to pay ~$2000 per night for a 14 day mandatory quarantine is daunting.

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I’m struggling with quant on the gmat, ir, and sentence correction. I already took an online course and I’m trying to get my score up 50 points—any recs for a Tudor? And what strategies would you suggest to get the most out of my sessions. I’m trying to take the test within 30 days

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What are the main points/differences between private and federal student loans?

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Mortgage rates: are these good? Trying to find the best with the lowest points. This home will be 5-7 year plan. Chase offered: 2.75% 1.57 points for 30 year or 2.8% .875 points for 30 year or 3.125%, no points for 30 year. Are these good? Gonna ask sofi next.

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6000 points + 110/night for Westin Grand Cayman Good deal? +367/night rate or 12000 points free otherwise excluding taxes fees and resort fees

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Working with a new manager who is a micro manager and also tends to ramble on about different things when asked fairly basic questions. I have a feedback chat with them coming up, how would you bring across these points in a tactful way? I’m probably going to be on this engagement for 6 months at least so taking that into account.

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Best Hyatt in NYC for a points stay as a tourist? Not the Park Hyatt though. Globalist status if that matters. Are the Grand Hyatt or Herald Square any good? I don't know NYC very well

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Any AlixPartners 🐠 had their compensation talks? Are you happy with your raise and bonus?

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Help! I just took a practice test and after consistently scoring at or slightly above my goal score, my score just cratered 60 points so it’s now 50 points below my goal score. I’m taking the test in a couple days. Any advice?

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Looking book Disney hotel with bonvoy points. Any thoughts on Swan vs ritz Carlton vs. JW? Pros and cons of being on ‘property’ vs. a nicer hotel close by?

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PCS tax manager offer 130K, 7K signing bonus. Good/bad? How would you counter?

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How would you feel if IRS started taxing rewards points?

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Soooo do you ever get your bonus paycheck deposited and start crying bcuz…. taxes.

likefunny

Does Capgemini give yearly bonus to existing employees? If yes, how much% or bonus is given?

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Potentially at an all time low - personally, professionally and emotionally. I have to believe that life’s inflection points happen for a reason. There’s a bigger lesson for me around this corner...

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I have 3 bonus kids and 2 bio kids. I am counting the days until my youngest bonus kid leaves the nest.

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Any thoughts on getting the GM extended family card? I am planning to lease a GM card in Jan and it seems they give a $1000 bonus for a lease to anybody with the card

I gave notice/resignation this week and it has felt like getting out of jail. I’m liberated. It’s been every week absolutely dreadful constant stress and pressure, growing backlog, everything just seemed like more work the excitement was completely sucked out of everything. I used to love it. Off to a new adventure! Good luck to those of you still hunting for a new gig. 5.5 YOE, total comp $180k between salary, bonus, stock grants. Not going to make me wealthy overnight but good enough 2 get out

likeupliftingfunny

Talked to a LinkedIn recruiter who stated the range for a SM Comms role in the midwest would likely fall in the $140-160k range, w ~15% bonus and she didn’t state rsu’s as I imagine it would depend on experience. I’ve seen similar roles land in the $175-185+ range. Thoughts?

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Additional Posts

You just finished teaching a skill / topic in your lesson. Children are now off to work on that skill independently- who are you targeting first to support: your students in the red or your students in the yellow?

Hi everyone! I need your help. I wasn’t looking for a new job but an interview at McKinsey just fell in my lap. I work at a big four firm and have never gone through MBB interviews before. I only have about two weeks to prepare. I’m going to do as much work to prepare as I possibly can but if anyone could help suggest a two week study plan that would be so helpful!

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Does anyone moved to CNM consulting from Big4? Any insights into their work culture, wlb etc?

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Has anyone found value in the “Josh Bersin Academy” membership? They are offering 20% off an annual subscription so my interest is piqued.

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Looking for a career switch from FMCG to Consulting (MBB). A recent graduate with good credentials. Please drop a like/comment if you can help/guide me. DM for any help or information on FMCG industry. Will be happy to help.

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Gets 50 likes on something, total points only go up by two. Oh ok

likefunny

What’s everyone’s utilization? Mine was over 100% the last few months, curious to see how others are doing.

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What is your PTO policy at your firm?

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Dumb question but humor me, I’m not familiar with financial services - is working in advisory at the big 4 as coveted/prestigious out of college as working as a financial analyst at a big IB like Morgan Stanley? Peoples backgrounds and salary seem extremely similar.

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Currently in Dubai. Totally burned out and tired of the modern slavery work culture here. Planning to make a move to one if the peaceful nordic countries. Am considering Finland. Heard pay wise these countries are not that great. Anybody with Finland experience, please help me know how the place and the lifestyle is.

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Dinged from Booth but got an HBS interview invite….I don’t understand😅

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Is everyone booking flights with the optional insurance. In case anything happens, such as delta spike.

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Any good intern stories yet?

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it’s wild how much casual racism there is in the HBS threads. maybe the reason you didn’t get in despite your top stats is that your essay pointed to the same type of low EQ that goes with complaining about how unfair it is.

likefunnysmartuplifting

Has anyone here went from Big 4 to AmLaw 200 firm or other law firm?

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Thinking about doing my own CPA practice. Any books or other suggestions to help with getting started or deep dive personal finance/ tan planning?

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How does pay work for new roles during remote pandemic working? If you get a new role based out of the NYC but then want to work out of your home in Florida until folks return to the office, do you get paid for your physical working location salary or the office of your new role?

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Can we just get rid of the typical job interview?? I feel like we would all benefit from just having a conversation about the position and the candidates skill set/experience w/o all the behavioral questions crap!

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What do folks here think about moving from B4 to a mid-tier, good or bad idea? Same service line, just for a higher salary (~20% bump)

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