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Most ridiculous title you’ve seen on LinkedIn? Bonus points for their real job title

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When I was an Analyst my manager asked me to update my LinkedIn title to “Consultant we don’t want stakeholders thinking you are very junior”.... months later found out we had a higher rate card for consultants vs analysts

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Hahahahaha mine used to be Jr. stimulation engineer (aka 1) and then I got promoted to Sr. Stimulation engineer (fracturing/oil and gas well completions) - made for great business cards and I thought I had kept some but I haven’t been able to find rhem

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Have worked with stimulation engineers. Fun times with the O&G peeps.

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A1 rude 😂

likefunnyupliftingsmarthelpful

Donald Trump - “45th president of the US” (Not on LinkedIn though, but just as ridiculous)

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Make em mad!

This

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Yea, it’s in Canada

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Organizational effectiveness consultant

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"Incoming analyst at ...”

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Hahah wow this is the biggest reverse catfish. They have so much hope, but so little comprehension

Penetration Tester

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Yes, we even have a "Head of penetration testing" The grin on his LinkedIn pic says it all...

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Influencer.

likefunnysmartupliftinghelpful

“Founder at [one person LLC they ‘own’]"

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I think they're referring to people who create an LLC to fill employment gaps, but their LLC doesn't actually do anything. Like John Doe gets laid off and is suddenly founder at JD Consulting LLC with exactly zero clients and zero revenue. It's laughable.

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Scrum master

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"Chief Imagination Officer"

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Incoming Interviewee Candidate

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Strategic dot connector

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Technology Evangelist

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Chief storytelling officer

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You think this is silly? I think it’s cool! Very common in higher ed and municipalities. A sort of combination of marketing and institutional historian using stories as a conduit.

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Tanning Consultant, Sandwhich Artist

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Fellow sandwich artist checking in. You had to earn that title...they didn't just give it to you day 1.

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Thought leader

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2006 Time Magazine Person of the Year. This person was also a “Scrum Master" Save you the Google: 2006 Time Person of the Year was “You”.

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It’s actually pretty funny

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Chief Millennial Officer

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This one was mine at one point: Senior Manager, Global Biscuits Strategy

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Amazing!!!

“Catalyst” - this was a real title at my company

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Related Posts

Graduated in May. Starting this Monday with Deloitte. Positions requires weekly travel to NYC from DC. Told to only use green corp card for lodging and flights. Suggestions on how to maximize points?

Key data points to pin to my wall before my Human Capital case interview?

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Would you take the following offer: Base - ~$180K; Bonus - ~$30K; RSU - ~$15k; Total Comp - ~$225K; F500 firm, not tech, mid-west, individual contributor role with potential for senior roles in 2 years. Good WLB, but not the most interesting industry. Currently working at a T2 Strategy Consulting firm, 2.5 years out of a T10 MBA. $200K all in. 7 YoE. Happy with consulting so far and performing well, but would like better WLB. How much better are tech exit ops given SF cost of living?

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Your Company: here’s a bonus for all your hard work. The Government taking 55%:

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I did an emergency project for my company last year. I spent a month working 16-18 hours a day to help get a product out. During this year's bonus/raise cycle we were told there were no merit increases, however I got a hefty retention bonus. I have heard rumblings of another emergency project and don't want to do it unless I get compensated up front somehow for it. What leverage do I have, and what is reasonable to ask for?

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Currently working on plan C of a honeymoon as we don’t expect to be able to go Europe in June/July as hoped. Plan A and B were variations of Italy (relax) and Spain (mountain biking). Hoping to use bonvoy points. Any US centered suggestions? Maybe refocusing on golf/warmth/spa/food now.

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Considering redeeming points for the hyatt Maldives, anyone been there and can share tips? I also notice that you have to pay several hundred dollars a night on taxes and fees? i find that strange...

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Has anyone had SPG points deposited into their account for stays that happened weeks or months ago (and were deposited correctly at the time of stay). Not complaining, anyone else double dipping?

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If i am up for promo and new firm start date is past promo, should i withhold this information and give my 2 weeks after? Worrying about burning bridge/ yet that promo/bonus is none neglieable. Ethic?

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Final night of a 3 night stay at a Staybridge in a nice part of a nice city the other night paid completely with IHG points. Came back at 2am to find cockroaches all over the bathroom. Called front desk and they didnt have bug spray nor an additional room. Woke my friend up at 2:30am and my wife and I ended up crashing on her couch. As we left that night night manager said "I actually have a two bedroom but didn't offer it to you because you were only two people". Manager calls wife (continued

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Any tricks to converting your Amex points into gift cards or some equivalent to get a better Amazon conversion? $70 for 10k points seems weak when a lot of the retailers do $100 for 10k.

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I asked the waitress at my hotel bar what time her shift was ending so we could hang out, and she shut me down. I think she did so because I was wearing my MAGA hat. How many points should I demand?

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Just received an offer from EY. The offer came in a bit lower than I had hoped, any tips to negotiate salary or sign on bonus? (currently an S1 at KPMG)

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Company 1 offering me 115k plus 20k of equity. Company 2 offering 135 base. Both have potential bonus. I like the people and company more of number 1, how can I negotiate for more? Company 2 offer to only come in next week and 135 is their number

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Has anyone paid their tax bill with a CC for points? I presume there was an additional fee for this? How was your experience?

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Is it possible to do "partial" greenchoice and still receive points? For example, don't opt it for the first day but opt in for greenchoice for the rest of the week and still get partial points?

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Had a power round in the afternoon today, any data points on when I can expect to hear back?

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Do people take a pay cut when moving from MBB to tech? Current TC - MBB manager 290k (220 base) Offer - 170k base + 15% bonus + 300k RSUs

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Help! I just took a practice test and after consistently scoring at or slightly above my goal score, my score just cratered 60 points so it’s now 50 points below my goal score. I’m taking the test in a couple days. Any advice?

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Additional Posts

What are some productive things you did during your paternity/maternity leave? I’m thinking about taking a post grad class to keep active. Another option I am considering is researching startup ideas

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Question about mentorship: in formal mentorship relationships (for ex. Where your mentor is a partner you work for and there is no personal friendship or friendliness), how often would you expect to meet/ talk to your mentor? And what kind of issues do you think should be discussed or not discussed? For ex. If I’m facing a particular issue while working with another member of our team, or I think my bonus needs to be extra good this year, are those topics that would be appropriate to discuss?

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trying to help someone in Tax transition to banking. I am not familiar with tax promotion tracks. Person is in Montreal at a big4. At firm 4 yrs, a senior manager. Previously were a Tax Sr Manager at diff Big4. Prior they spent 7 yrs at yet another big4 in variety of tax roles. 1 more yr at smaller firm & 5 yrs school (BA & MS in accounting) Questions - When should this person make partner? how much TOTAL comp (Base/bonus/etc) is this person making at this point 14 years of work, 13 in big4

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Question about EWR airport - is there a place to buy iPad at the EWR airport?

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First day as scrum master and for a new team, any tips? I’m not used to gathering a team that’s 100% remote and am trying to figure out creative ways to get the team engaged.

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Can you swing salary negotiations at your own company when on a visa?

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Took PTO to make it a four day weekend...first few hours back today and I already feel stressed out, anxious and like I want to quit. Burn out or just advertising?

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Should a teacher with only ten years left in the classroom go to the trouble of getting their NBCT?

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Is anyone working in HCL - Deutsch Bank project?

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Been an Acquisition Analyst Contractor Support in Huntsville for the past 3 years but moved to Fort Walton area during Covid. I have no contacts here and am struggling to find a position that fits my skill set/experience. Open to full remote or onsite support. Any contacts or advice?

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Come on already..... ready to find out promotion decisions. Pray for me FB fam.

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I am having an experience of 9+ years into analytics domain with hands on exposure to data science and machine learning. Please can you refer me in your organization for any suitable position. Thanks in advance.

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What type of self help strategies do individuals actually find helpful when you feel burn out or stuck in a rut? Any books, apps, meditation, podcasts, etc, others find helpful? I've done therapy and it has definitely helped this past year with covid and a marriage separation, starting to feel like I'm making progress and want to keep up the momentum. Looking to see what type of self help others find actually beneficial and would love to use that to help others stuck in burn out too

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having trouble itemizing cell phone expense and finding a wbs code @ deloitte. any help is appreciated

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Does a native New Yorker exist anymore? Bunch of rich kids moving into my city and neighborhood trying to change the culture. I welcome new people just not when you try claim something that’s not your

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Can you expense United club access?

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Can someone explain to me the appeal of consulting (and I don’t mean it facetiously) other then comp - I’m on the startup side of things rn but just curious more than anything

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People on H1B, how is the job market now? I haven’t applied for a job for almost a year now and returning from my maternity leave soon, so wanted to gauge if it’s a good time to start applying.🙏

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Anyone have deets on McCann HumanCare? Yes, I know it’s pharma. I’m in pharma already - was more curious about culture.

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We’ve all had our “fall festivals” and “return to the office parties”. Anyone catch Covid at one of these and is just keeping mum about it?

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