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Most ridiculous title you’ve seen on LinkedIn? Bonus points for their real job title

likefunnyhelpfulupliftingsmart
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When I was an Analyst my manager asked me to update my LinkedIn title to “Consultant we don’t want stakeholders thinking you are very junior”.... months later found out we had a higher rate card for consultants vs analysts

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Hahahahaha mine used to be Jr. stimulation engineer (aka 1) and then I got promoted to Sr. Stimulation engineer (fracturing/oil and gas well completions) - made for great business cards and I thought I had kept some but I haven’t been able to find rhem

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😳

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A1 rude 😂

likefunnyupliftingsmarthelpful

Donald Trump - “45th president of the US” (Not on LinkedIn though, but just as ridiculous)

likefunnysmart

Make em mad!

This

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likefunnysmarthelpful

Yea, it’s in Canada

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"Incoming analyst at ...”

likefunnysmarthelpful

Hahah wow this is the biggest reverse catfish. They have so much hope, but so little comprehension

Organizational effectiveness consultant

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Penetration Tester

likefunnysmart

Yes, we even have a "Head of penetration testing" The grin on his LinkedIn pic says it all...

likefunny

Influencer.

likefunnysmartupliftinghelpful

“Founder at [one person LLC they ‘own’]"

likefunnysmarthelpful

I think they're referring to people who create an LLC to fill employment gaps, but their LLC doesn't actually do anything. Like John Doe gets laid off and is suddenly founder at JD Consulting LLC with exactly zero clients and zero revenue. It's laughable.

likeuplifting

Scrum master

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"Chief Imagination Officer"

likefunnyupliftingsmarthelpful

Incoming Interviewee Candidate

likefunnyuplifting

Strategic dot connector

likefunnysmarthelpful

Technology Evangelist

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Chief storytelling officer

likefunnysmart

You think this is silly? I think it’s cool! Very common in higher ed and municipalities. A sort of combination of marketing and institutional historian using stories as a conduit.

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Tanning Consultant, Sandwhich Artist

likefunnyuplifting

Fellow sandwich artist checking in. You had to earn that title...they didn't just give it to you day 1.

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Thought leader

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2006 Time Magazine Person of the Year. This person was also a “Scrum Master" Save you the Google: 2006 Time Person of the Year was “You”.

likefunnysmart

It’s actually pretty funny

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Chief Millennial Officer

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This one was mine at one point: Senior Manager, Global Biscuits Strategy

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My type of strategy!

“Catalyst” - this was a real title at my company

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Hi Fishes can you please help me decide on the below offer IBM vs Fiserv vs Optum vs Societe Generale vs Coforge for more WLB. All the offers are in the same range except Coforge which is paying more bonus but i am not inclined as its a different city . I am looking for more WLB

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Which is better ? India: 50-55 LPA gross income (expected) Germany (in euros): 80K gross income + 10K relocation bonus + 15K stocks/yr (vested for 4 years) YOE: 9 TC; 31.5 LPA

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Desperately waiting for my first bonus check. Hope it's not a disappointment cuz let's be honest, I've spent it already.

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I have tcs offer of 23 LPA and birlasoft offer of 25.5 LPA + 2 L joining bonus Sap basis Yoe 7.4 Please suggest which one is good.

Interested to know since this is rarely done, but what is your salary/state/position (__ year associate, etc.)/practice area? I see salaries posted far too often without any context. Surely everyone on here isn’t biglaw in NYC, Miami, LA, etc. Where are all the normal folks at?

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Hi everyone, I recently left Deloitte as a Senior Manager and I only have the behavioural interview left for Accenture as SM (I’ve been told that it is organised by the US firm). Any insights on preparing for this interview and negotiating a sign on bonus would be kindly appreciated (beyond what’s on the web). My salary when I left D was 220 plus bonus. In appreciation I will transfer $100 USD to the best and most upvoted answer as of May 3rd at 1000h EST. Thank you! Accenture Deloitte

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Hi Fishes, I joined shell 10 months ago and am intending to lay down papers, but according to the shell joining terms, an employee must be in employment for a minimum 12 months or they will have to return thier joining bonus. In shell there is 90 days notice period. So will notice period be considered in employment??

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What's your most inspiring salary jump?

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I received a verbal offer from Google and now I have to tell my recruiter my expected base, bonus, and equity per year. The position is L6 and location is Washington DC. I worked for 15-yrs in the federal govt, so I have no idea what to request. Any advice?

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likefunnyhelpful

Seeking advice for stock options that I am being offered as part of a job offer Context - company I’m joining is Pre-IPO. Company has offered X shares and provided 4 for potential strike prices for which I can purchase said stock (traditional vesting schedule). How would you perceive this option if my I intend to pursue graduate school in next 2-3 years? Should I try to lower this amount and ask for a higher base or sign-on bonus? Other negotiation tactics to consider? TIA!

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Has anyone ever seen Accenture counter an offer for a Consultant? I’ve got an offer elsewhere for 40% more base but wanted to see if there was any chance ACN could counter with a off cycle raise or one off bonus?

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Anyone know what 3rd years (first year seniors) in audit make at Deloitte in Denver? Also what is the average bonus?

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I'm 5.8 yrs experienced currently working as associate with 6.2 LPA (Incl Var). I offered by TCS ITA role with 9.7 LPA (Incl Var & ret. bonus). Is it worth the switch? I didn't switched till now in my career. I asked 11 but they told 9 & finally it's 9.7. Salary structure is confusing & different than CTS. Pls tell about the monthly performance pay & quarterly pay since, it constitutes 11k monthly so, how much will i get? Does it depends on project? I need a move as I'm not treated well here

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I am new at BT, what does the average bonus and raise typically look like for a staff consultant?

Christmas bonus - myth/fact/how much 💰💰💰

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Does anyone have the Rolex OP34? I'm a bit worried it will be too small. I have actually tried on the 34mm OP Date and wasn't convinced that it's not tiny, but am also not sure if they're the exact same case and dial proportions. For sizing, I have a 6" wrist, so yes, I can absolutely wear smaller watches, but I am actually used to and prefer 38-40mm size (and will go up to 42mm) with lug to lug up to 47mm. Bonus if someone can share a wrist shot 😄 Can't do the double baton indices, sorry!

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Hey Everyone, Can anyone help me in the negotiation with SAP Labs if I already have a counter offer from a Product Based Company? How much should I ask them and will they give ? YOE : 5.5 years Current CTC : 18.6 LPA Offer in Hand : 32.8 CTC ( 31.8 Fixed + 1 Bonus) (gratuity is not included in it CTC) Thanks for any guidance in advance. Stay blessed

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My client in Florida looking for a SEC Accountant. Salary range will be $75k to $95k depending on the experience. Please DM me if you know anyone. Plus 10% target bonus. Thanks!

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Additional Posts

Ahh it is posting but into middle of feed as opposed to top.

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Post for likes! 😤

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Getting this off my chest!

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Post without company

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How does this sound?

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Comment on this to test rereply notif

Changed my company but it didn't update!

Ah now it did.

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What are some good companies to work for in Dallas?

Post to test

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Where is a new build???

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Sometimes I type "Sent from my iPhone so I can get away with a short reply.

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15 minute rule in effect ⏰on meeting rooms. Yes you had it booked. But it's now mine.

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When you realize half this job is swatting sh.. out of the way so you can focus on the stuff that actually moves the needle for the client.

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Anyone have any suggestions on how to transfer out of assurance into advisory / strategy?

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I'm on PTO this whole week, but still have to work because the client MUST have a deliverable a week before they even start their month close.

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