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Most ridiculous title you’ve seen on LinkedIn? Bonus points for their real job title

likefunnyhelpfulupliftingsmart
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When I was an Analyst my manager asked me to update my LinkedIn title to “Consultant we don’t want stakeholders thinking you are very junior”.... months later found out we had a higher rate card for consultants vs analysts

likefunny

Hahahahaha mine used to be Jr. stimulation engineer (aka 1) and then I got promoted to Sr. Stimulation engineer (fracturing/oil and gas well completions) - made for great business cards and I thought I had kept some but I haven’t been able to find rhem

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😳

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A1 rude 😂

likefunnyupliftingsmarthelpful

Donald Trump - “45th president of the US” (Not on LinkedIn though, but just as ridiculous)

likefunnysmart

Make em mad!

This

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likefunnysmarthelpful

Yea, it’s in Canada

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"Incoming analyst at ...”

likefunnysmarthelpful

Hahah wow this is the biggest reverse catfish. They have so much hope, but so little comprehension

Organizational effectiveness consultant

likefunnysmart

Penetration Tester

likefunnysmart

Yes, we even have a "Head of penetration testing" The grin on his LinkedIn pic says it all...

likefunny

Influencer.

likefunnysmartupliftinghelpful

“Founder at [one person LLC they ‘own’]"

likefunnysmarthelpful

I think they're referring to people who create an LLC to fill employment gaps, but their LLC doesn't actually do anything. Like John Doe gets laid off and is suddenly founder at JD Consulting LLC with exactly zero clients and zero revenue. It's laughable.

likeuplifting

Scrum master

likefunny

"Chief Imagination Officer"

likefunnyupliftingsmarthelpful

Incoming Interviewee Candidate

likefunnyuplifting

Strategic dot connector

likefunnysmarthelpful

Technology Evangelist

likefunnysmart

Chief storytelling officer

likefunnysmart

You think this is silly? I think it’s cool! Very common in higher ed and municipalities. A sort of combination of marketing and institutional historian using stories as a conduit.

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Tanning Consultant, Sandwhich Artist

likefunnyuplifting

Fellow sandwich artist checking in. You had to earn that title...they didn't just give it to you day 1.

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Thought leader

likefunny

2006 Time Magazine Person of the Year. This person was also a “Scrum Master" Save you the Google: 2006 Time Person of the Year was “You”.

likefunnysmart

It’s actually pretty funny

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Chief Millennial Officer

likefunnysmart

This one was mine at one point: Senior Manager, Global Biscuits Strategy

likefunny

My type of strategy!

“Catalyst” - this was a real title at my company

likefunny

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Just got promoted to Consultant after 2+ years, 9% base salary adjustment + 1.5% bonus. Does that sound right?

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Currently a tech consultant and looking to transition to strategy. Any one want to earn a referral bonus?

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Anyone taken the pay day to switch between competitors (ACN, Deloitte, PwC, etc.)? If so, what kind of raise / bonus did you get? I'm a new consultant making ~$95k. Also interested in MBB figures.

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Signing bonus disappears thanks to all the family loans I had. #bittersweet

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When your 5 rated senior says he would give up his performance bonus to see you slap the other staff, challenge accepted #auditroomshenanigans

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Unsuccessful in this year's H-1B lottery - do I have to return half my signing bonus?

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Sa3 3 rating 3k bonus. Is this a bad dream?

What do you do when you get a great raise and bonus, your team members don't, and they ask you how your comp meeting went? Lie?

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Just found out I'm getting a 4 and promotion to Senior for advisory. What kind of raise / promo bonus can I expect % wise?

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How much ~ bonus does a Senior Consultant starts making from his second year? (Deloitte Advisory/Cyber)

Anyone have EY raise % or bonus bands /estimates for seniors or managers at a 4 or 5 rating in PI? Know formal comp calls won't happen for another few weeks...

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SPG has a promotion going for 25k bonus points. Should I go ahead and get the card or wait for a better promotion? Guide me oh ye lords of points and miles of the consulting world.

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RSM raises: Post your old title, new title, old base, new base, bonus, location.

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EY seniors: Calling for all things you heard on rating / raise / bonus / layoffs, etc.

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What's everyone's bonus and increase percentage looking like? I know GT folks found out today. Is everyone satisfied or ready to quit?

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Did you guys have compensation discussion? How much bonus was for senior 1 rating 3? And raise in the east coast region?

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Has anyone ever received pay increase after showing dissatisfaction with raise/bonus?

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PwC folks, How do we find our cohort level? I just got raise/bonus #s and what I needed to do to make it to the next level next yr...

Getting ready to blow my theoretical bonus on a new bag. Currently have a mulberry laptop bag (mens). Any suggestions <2k max.

What percentage bonus did you get last year compared to your base? 5%, 10%, 15% etc.

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Additional Posts

Comment on this to test rereply notif

Still not seeing location in the post window when turning it off.

Changed my company but it didn't update!

Do you see this post? 12:59am

I used iTunes from 2005 to 2012 and again when I got the iPhone 7 last fall. Using it again and trying to fill my iPhone with music made me realize iTunes has turned to shit in the last few years 😤

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This holiday party sucks

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Are people being laid off?

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How can I find part-time work as an ex-consultant? Taking a break from corporate but would like to bring in some cash to fund my travels

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Has anyone had their firm sponsor their MBA? Or maybe know someone who has? Worth it?

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Cyber security to investment banking? Is this possible

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Which firm has a lot of work in "sales and marketing consulting" and with which industry? For example, my understanding is ZS Associates with Pharma/Bio

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SPG has a promotion going for 25k bonus points. Should I go ahead and get the card or wait for a better promotion? Guide me oh ye lords of points and miles of the consulting world.

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Being at home has made it pretty clear how addicted I am to checking email. How do I disconnect?

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Partners and MDs how do you frankly feel about negotiations and how much time does it take to approve or reject the request? Do you have to get approval as well from higher ups if it is in fair range?

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When you say you need to drop for another call then dial into an empty Skype meeting so your status says "in a conference call" but really wanted to finish walking dead. #itsfriday

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Flying when sick?

Anyone travel so much that he / she airbnb's the apt during the week (and doing the "in lieu of travel" for the weekend?)

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Insane story: Client (Male, married) is staying at a different hotel. Team member (also M, married) gets together with him for drinks at our hotel. Apparently, client got too drunk to go back CONT...

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Is MBB all that it's cracked up (by certain people) to be?

Anyone work at e-Builder? If so, thoughts on the company, management, team environment, etc.

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