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Most ridiculous title you’ve seen on LinkedIn? Bonus points for their real job title

likefunnyhelpfulupliftingsmart
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When I was an Analyst my manager asked me to update my LinkedIn title to “Consultant we don’t want stakeholders thinking you are very junior”.... months later found out we had a higher rate card for consultants vs analysts

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Hahahahaha mine used to be Jr. stimulation engineer (aka 1) and then I got promoted to Sr. Stimulation engineer (fracturing/oil and gas well completions) - made for great business cards and I thought I had kept some but I haven’t been able to find rhem

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😳

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A1 rude 😂

likefunnyupliftingsmarthelpful

Donald Trump - “45th president of the US” (Not on LinkedIn though, but just as ridiculous)

likefunnysmart

Make em mad!

This

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likefunnysmarthelpful

Yea, it’s in Canada

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"Incoming analyst at ...”

likefunnysmarthelpful

Hahah wow this is the biggest reverse catfish. They have so much hope, but so little comprehension

Organizational effectiveness consultant

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Penetration Tester

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Yes, we even have a "Head of penetration testing" The grin on his LinkedIn pic says it all...

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Influencer.

likefunnysmartupliftinghelpful

“Founder at [one person LLC they ‘own’]"

likefunnysmarthelpful

I think they're referring to people who create an LLC to fill employment gaps, but their LLC doesn't actually do anything. Like John Doe gets laid off and is suddenly founder at JD Consulting LLC with exactly zero clients and zero revenue. It's laughable.

likeuplifting

Scrum master

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"Chief Imagination Officer"

likefunnyupliftingsmarthelpful

Incoming Interviewee Candidate

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Strategic dot connector

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Technology Evangelist

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Chief storytelling officer

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You think this is silly? I think it’s cool! Very common in higher ed and municipalities. A sort of combination of marketing and institutional historian using stories as a conduit.

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Tanning Consultant, Sandwhich Artist

likefunnyuplifting

Fellow sandwich artist checking in. You had to earn that title...they didn't just give it to you day 1.

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Thought leader

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2006 Time Magazine Person of the Year. This person was also a “Scrum Master" Save you the Google: 2006 Time Person of the Year was “You”.

likefunnysmart

It’s actually pretty funny

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Chief Millennial Officer

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This one was mine at one point: Senior Manager, Global Biscuits Strategy

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My type of strategy!

“Catalyst” - this was a real title at my company

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Offer eval: 1. Product manager at Citi in payments - $105 base + 10% bonus + hybrid 3x in office 2. Product ops & business analysis manager at Morningstar in research - expecting $98 base + 15% bonus + potentially 2x in office 3. Product manager at Telus Health - expecting $120 base + 10% bonus + remote Current: unemployed. 6 yoe financial services consulting. Looking to exit to ecomm/tech/consumer product.

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How often do you talk with your coach, and what topics do you cover to help you achieve more? Struggling to think of conversation points as an analyst

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Hello all, I am at the panel interview for the salesforce PA interview. I would really appreciate the help from the SF folks if they could provide some insights regarding the preparation and what topics/points I should consider for the presentation ?

Recently engaged and want to stay somewhere tropical using my Hilton points. What are the best Hilton resorts I should look into?

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If I get a written offer, can I counter via email? It would be easier to lay out my points over email but if that’s not professional, ill call.

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I just spilled a bourbon on my iPad due to turbulence. How many points?

Challenge #2 Welcome to the Playlist thread! Here you will create a Playlist of your favs and share it with us all. You can use Spotify and share the link or screenshot an Apple music playlist. If you don't have those, get creative! To start, I created a fun list in Spotify. This is what I plan to use when I get my walk on! Can't wait to see yours! This challenge is worth 2 points and must be posted by Saturday 9 pm.

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Has anyone successfully negotiated a title? I was looking for Senior Manager positions but applied for some Mgr positions too. I’m up for promo next year at my current job as well. The current industry offer meets my comp expectation but planning to see if they would bring me in as a senior manager. There isn’t a set hierarchy for the team as of right now as they are building the team and I’d be reporting to a senior executive. Any talking points/tips that might help me negotiate?

Hi All, is anyone aware of the below points: 1) How is Credit Suisse in terms of work culture. 2) Do people have to work on shifts? 3) How is the yearly increment there?

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How much average joining bonus can I expect for a Manager role at RSM? Total years of experience - 8. Moving from Deloitte to RSM

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I have about 6~ years experience as a paralegal and have a JD. Trying to determine how much I should be making a year before bonus with my experience. I have been at my current mid size litigation firm for approximately 3 1/2 years. I am also in San Francisco.

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WEEK 3 Challenge #1 Walk! This challenge can be completed one day or every day this week. Get points each time by following requirements below. Must post all entries by Saturday 9 pm to be included in Week 3 prize offerings. *updated 1point for posting walk (words describing) 1 additional point selfie 1 additional point nature 2 additional points fitness device Repeat daily as an incentive/bonus. So this week you could potentially earn 25 points with this each day 😳🥰

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2 weeks in an my night and points are all fucked up.. come on Accenture get your data migration workstream together

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If I am getting the same offer (OTE) from IBM and Splunk , which 1 should I pick ? Splunk have RSU and more vacation but IBM have signing bonus

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POV: I’m a corporate junior associate and I am 250 hours behind my target to make hours this year (need 2k for bonus). Am I just SOL at this point? My fear is that I’m busting my ass and saying yes to every deal to try to make it up but if I don’t make my hours anyway, I didn’t have to try so hard and stress. (Also, I have about 2 weeks of vacation planned before the holidays so I’ll have to make that up too)

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Hi everyone, I have accepted an offer of 130k + 20% bonus and RSUs worth 150k. Today, I got another offer from a startup of 160k base pay and stock options worth 440 k. Has anyone negotiated an offer after accepting? I am supposed to join them next week. Vesting period is 4 years with one year cliff and each quarter after a year.

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Hey ladies, I am relatively new in professional world. I’d like some tips around conversations of performance reviews. How much percentage of salary increment do you ask for? how often? How soon is too soon from last appraisal or joining date for a new employee? And what points should I talk about or ask? I have thought that I’ll ask about development areas and what I should do to be promoted. Anything pointers advice is appreciated. Thanks!

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Anyone who can share BCG / MCK / Bain base and bonus salary for consultant level? (3 years in the company)

I’ve been seeing things about a $20k bonus ($10k now, $10k in May) in the Deloitte Advisory bowl. As PDM am I correct to assume we won’t see any of that due to us being worthless in the eyes of Deloitte compared to traditional path analysts?

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If anyone tested on lots of sampling questions in Audit ??

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Is Dallas a good place to raise kids? What do you like about it if so? Thanks!

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Anyone know anything about Blueair? Believe they were acquired by Unilever. Curious what it is like to work there and what TC is like there for senior manager / director level roles.

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Curious, non-BB fish: Which BB would you most like to work for and why?

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Hey Folks, How is the work culture and work life balance in IBM ISL? Is it really cool, being a product based entity of IBM?

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Congratulations to all 3 of you for what you’ve accomplished so far. All your journeys are inspiring. My questions: how do you push for diversity in hiring practices in a meaningful way? Any recommendations on ensuring firms are committing to this throughout the life cycle of all employees (promotions, recognition etc).

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Anyone has done Global Mobility before? Do you know how they adjust your compensation, benefits and housing allowance?

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How do YOU live your best life? #blessed #positivityallaround

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Hi all! Love to be a part of a group full of thriving women in sales. I have about 3-4 years in sales - first few years spent in BDR roles and qualifying leads, and currently, I am several months into a sales role closing deals selling software. Is it way too early to jump ship and look elsewhere? What is a good compensation plan for an AE that is just starting out closing deals?

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Been offered a role outside of audit. I am an AM and the role is a financial accountant role at a large corporate investment manager. The salary is the same as what I am currently on, I am due for an increase in August and I would have to pay back half of a signing bonus (quite a large sum) if I were to move now. I have provisionally accepted the offer but have not yet signed the contract. Is there still room for me to negotiate the terms of pay? The recruiter keeps saying no

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I've been offered a job offer at Kyndryl ( previously IBM ) as a Delivery Project Executive in British Columbia. Can anyone please guide me how much compensation/benefits/incentives I should negotiate for overall? IBM Kyndryl Kyndryl Inc.

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Hi All, I am so confused about choosing the best company. Need your advice. I have the below offers and I'm really confused about which one to choose. Please share your advice in terms of WLB, Job Security, Hikes and growth, Work Culture etc. YOE 2.6, BigData domain Shell India: 12 LPA Fractal: 11 LPA CGI: 13 LPA TEKsystems: 14LPA KPMG Global Services: 12 LPA

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How do big tech companies view contractor jobs on resumes? My first software developer job out of a bootcamp is contract, I feel like I’m gaining a ton of experience and contributing on big projects quickly, but concerned about when I ultimately apply for FT positions

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Happy 2018.. I mean 2019!

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Hi Fishes.. i got selected in Infosys and my joining date is on 23rd May.. in the Infosys launch pad it shows the 60% completed... Will i get any joining link or how will be the joining procedure initiated.. I feel like it's very silent and there is no updates from them yet... Can anyone who recently joined Infosys answer me and that will be very helpful.. TIA

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Just me or anyone else have all their flights canceled today?

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Does anyone work at or know someone at Airtable? Curious on what insiders think of their experience working remotely and WLB. I am currently interviewing and the role + manager seem like a great fit. My current team has a very toxic 9-9 culture and I am looking for a place where it's ok to not check Slack after 6pm :)

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Does anyone have insight on Jackson Lewis in Chicago? Just heard from talent acquisition to set up an initial conversation and would love any tips/insider info. Thanks!

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