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Most ridiculous title you’ve seen on LinkedIn? Bonus points for their real job title

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When I was an Analyst my manager asked me to update my LinkedIn title to “Consultant we don’t want stakeholders thinking you are very junior”.... months later found out we had a higher rate card for consultants vs analysts

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Hahahahaha mine used to be Jr. stimulation engineer (aka 1) and then I got promoted to Sr. Stimulation engineer (fracturing/oil and gas well completions) - made for great business cards and I thought I had kept some but I haven’t been able to find rhem

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Have worked with stimulation engineers. Fun times with the O&G peeps.

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A1 rude 😂

likefunnyupliftingsmarthelpful

Donald Trump - “45th president of the US” (Not on LinkedIn though, but just as ridiculous)

likefunnysmart

Make em mad!

This

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likefunnysmarthelpful

Yea, it’s in Canada

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Organizational effectiveness consultant

likefunnysmart

"Incoming analyst at ...”

likefunnysmarthelpful

Hahah wow this is the biggest reverse catfish. They have so much hope, but so little comprehension

Penetration Tester

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Yes, we even have a "Head of penetration testing" The grin on his LinkedIn pic says it all...

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Influencer.

likefunnysmartupliftinghelpful

“Founder at [one person LLC they ‘own’]"

likefunnysmarthelpful

I think they're referring to people who create an LLC to fill employment gaps, but their LLC doesn't actually do anything. Like John Doe gets laid off and is suddenly founder at JD Consulting LLC with exactly zero clients and zero revenue. It's laughable.

likeuplifting

Scrum master

likefunny

"Chief Imagination Officer"

likefunnyupliftingsmarthelpful

Incoming Interviewee Candidate

likefunnyuplifting

Strategic dot connector

likefunnysmarthelpful

Technology Evangelist

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Chief storytelling officer

likefunnysmart

You think this is silly? I think it’s cool! Very common in higher ed and municipalities. A sort of combination of marketing and institutional historian using stories as a conduit.

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Tanning Consultant, Sandwhich Artist

likefunnyuplifting

Fellow sandwich artist checking in. You had to earn that title...they didn't just give it to you day 1.

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Thought leader

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2006 Time Magazine Person of the Year. This person was also a “Scrum Master" Save you the Google: 2006 Time Person of the Year was “You”.

likefunnysmart

It’s actually pretty funny

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Chief Millennial Officer

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This one was mine at one point: Senior Manager, Global Biscuits Strategy

likefunny

Amazing!!!

“Catalyst” - this was a real title at my company

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Does anyone have any insight regarding the payment structure of a Non-equity partner in a mid-sized regional firm? I was offered a non-equity partner position but the comp package was 80% of total paid throughout the 12 months and then the remaining 20% as a bonus paid out the following feb-mar. Is this normal practice?

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No thanks I’ll stick to receiving points

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Looking book Disney hotel with bonvoy points. Any thoughts on Swan vs ritz Carlton vs. JW? Pros and cons of being on ‘property’ vs. a nicer hotel close by?

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I have a couple of Audible points to spend , Any good audiobooks for a new manager

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What’s expected comp at a tech company as a ‘Strategy and Operations Associate’ with 2-3 yoe based in nyc/sf? Data points with specific company would be helpful!

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Anyone willing to sell 60k Marriott points? Thanks!

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Hi All, WIPRO SALESFORCE COMMERCE CLOUD 27LPA(24.3 LPA + 2.7 LPA) BONUS: 1.5 DEFFERED BONUS: 1 CAPGEMINI SALESFORCE COMMERCE CLOUD 20LPA(18LPA+2LPA) BONUS: 2.5 LOCATION: SAME FOR BOTH please suggest which one to select?

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Any resources I can use to learn how to analyze those candlestick graphs on Binance? Want to know the sell walls, resistance points, etc

Booked award economy tickets on Iberia - anyone know if it’s possible to upgrade to business and if so best guess at cost in points or $? (Nyc to Mad)

Do you adjust your 401k contribution when bonus time comes around to get more in pocket or keep it business as usual?

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Hi All , I got offers from 1) Deloitte - 7.59 LPA (fixed) + 10 % variable + 1 Lakh joining bonus 2) Accenture - 7.50 LPA (fixed) + 20% variable pay Yoe - 2.7 Which one would I select ? Am i underpaid ? Please suggest

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Can someone give me some perspective or pros and cons with respect to Career growth, WLB, Increment, bonus? 1. Accenture 2. EY India

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What is the best platform to sell miles/honors points on?

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Amazon FLDP vs Gartner Consulting (post-MBA level). I am worried taking Amazon will close the door for consulting in the future. Amazon comp - 130k base + 80k sign-on bonus (~45k first year, ~35k second year) + 100k RSU (4 year vest). Gartner - 125k base + 15K EOY Bonus + 10k sign-on bonus. Do I pass on my hopes for consulting and chase the money?

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I have got an offer from gsk 24lac fixed and 3lac bonus, yoe 6 . I have joined my current company 8 months back with 13.5fixed and 1 lac bonus.will it be a wise decision to go with the new offer ?

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I was coasting to hit my minimum hours, but then the firm announced it was doubling the billing bonus. So now I'm pedal to the metal trying to hit the bonus threshold by the end of the year. Just had a run of 7 straight 10-12+ hour days. Thoughts and prayers welcomed! 🙏

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Lateral Hire, first engagement rating was subpar. Improvement points are reasonable (and very actionable - be quality conscious, plan ahead, manage upwards). Anyone else had similar and bounced back?

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Just curious, what percentage of your billable rate do you take home? Calculation would be ((Salary and Bonus/Yearly Billable Hours)/Billable Rate). For me it's about 18% as a Senior 1 in M&A Tax (note this doesn't include other benefits).

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Additional Posts

I've been working with some niche software for a few years and now it's difficult to gain a new position because my knowledge is so specialized. Should I take a course?

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Do you feel that there is sense in timing exit, seasonally speaking, for better opportunities? As in, do you think opps will be better in Jan after holiday season since tend to wind down in the latter months of the year, or does that even matter in this type of job market?

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Newbie question. I currently have VTSAX as my only investment. Is VOO essentially the same thing? Does it make sense to put money into both? Just looking to diversity a little beyond just VTSAX

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What’s the typical number of YOE to go from product manager to head of product (the term my company uses) or equivalent? In your company what does someone in the senior role do?

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Can we automatically fire people who say "hi" on Slack and never respond? Its not chat. Slack doesn't interupt your screen if you are presenting. Get with the times, it's 2020. Just tell me what you want!

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To all consultants out there: I am rather introvert and quite confcall - how did you learn to boost your confidence? Culturally I come from a region where self promotion is seen negatively. You always down-play.

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Looking for pointers to prepare for Facebook Privacy Program Manager, Product role interview. Any leads or inputs?

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We are currently recruiting for a CONTRACT or CONTRACT TO HIRE Digital Product Designer in Boston. They are seeking 2-3 years within product design within the healthcare world and a strong understanding of UX coupled with a strong visual design portfolio. The ability to work end to end on a project and be client facing and being able to solve their design problems is hugely required. Please message me here to start a dialog if you would like to hear more. They are a small firm but great.

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That feeling when you let one rip and then scramble to double check if Zoom is still muted... and it is

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likefunny

How do you all make sure you are delivering value and moving the needle on each and every client call? Or is that a pipe dream? :)

Curious what everyone’s caseloads look like in their district if you are a resource room teacher. Do you have 504’s and IEP’s on your caseload?

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Probably not the right bowl but don’t know where else to ask: for men in their late 20s/early 30s, is the style right now to wear belts? SO has been working out and gaining in his lower half so he’s getting better fitting pants/shorts that fit the new booty/thighs compared to what he used to own but his belts are suuuuuper old/falling apart so he’s debating whether to get more.

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Interviewing for MIT Sloan Fellows MBA (1 year program) shortly. 10YOE and joining MBB in a couple of months, post-MBA level role. Reading some previous FB posts disparaging the SF program and feeling a bit downhearted about it. Are Sloan Fellows really looked down on by the normal (2 year) Sloan MBA program? Are there better alternatives for a 1 year MBA? MIT has been a dream for a while but it’s kind of like being told your baby is ugly…

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Hey Fishes. Can someone give insights on the bonus(variable) component in Juniper salary. What part of it can one expect to get?

You have a Zoom interview. You wear a nice top that will be seen. Are you still wearing sweats on the bottom, or dressing up fully?

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Anyone know of place that can do a rapid COVID-19 test in nyc? Been looking for one for a few days.

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I sometimes work a 40 hour week.

likefunny

Any openings for BGV executive/Client Servicing??

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Been in Customer Success/ Account management for 5 years + and fraud and security 5 years +. Currently finishing my Bachelors in Management, to fulfill the degree requirements. I am looking to grow my base in a better tech company. Any recommendations and how to network to get in?

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I joined a new law firm a month ago, but I have been pretty slow even though everyone around me is slammed. Should I be worried?

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