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Most ridiculous title you’ve seen on LinkedIn? Bonus points for their real job title

likefunnyhelpfulupliftingsmart
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When I was an Analyst my manager asked me to update my LinkedIn title to “Consultant we don’t want stakeholders thinking you are very junior”.... months later found out we had a higher rate card for consultants vs analysts

likefunny

Hahahahaha mine used to be Jr. stimulation engineer (aka 1) and then I got promoted to Sr. Stimulation engineer (fracturing/oil and gas well completions) - made for great business cards and I thought I had kept some but I haven’t been able to find rhem

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Have worked with stimulation engineers. Fun times with the O&G peeps.

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A1 rude 😂

likefunnyupliftingsmarthelpful

Donald Trump - “45th president of the US” (Not on LinkedIn though, but just as ridiculous)

likefunnysmart

Make em mad!

This

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likefunnysmarthelpful

Yea, it’s in Canada

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Organizational effectiveness consultant

likefunnysmart

"Incoming analyst at ...”

likefunnysmarthelpful

Hahah wow this is the biggest reverse catfish. They have so much hope, but so little comprehension

Penetration Tester

likefunnysmart

Yes, we even have a "Head of penetration testing" The grin on his LinkedIn pic says it all...

likefunny

Influencer.

likefunnysmartupliftinghelpful

“Founder at [one person LLC they ‘own’]"

likefunnysmarthelpful

I think they're referring to people who create an LLC to fill employment gaps, but their LLC doesn't actually do anything. Like John Doe gets laid off and is suddenly founder at JD Consulting LLC with exactly zero clients and zero revenue. It's laughable.

likeuplifting

Scrum master

likefunny

"Chief Imagination Officer"

likefunnyupliftingsmarthelpful

Incoming Interviewee Candidate

likefunnyuplifting

Technology Evangelist

likefunnysmart

Strategic dot connector

likefunnysmarthelpful

Chief storytelling officer

likefunnysmart

You think this is silly? I think it’s cool! Very common in higher ed and municipalities. A sort of combination of marketing and institutional historian using stories as a conduit.

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Tanning Consultant, Sandwhich Artist

likefunnyuplifting

Fellow sandwich artist checking in. You had to earn that title...they didn't just give it to you day 1.

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Thought leader

likefunny

2006 Time Magazine Person of the Year. This person was also a “Scrum Master" Save you the Google: 2006 Time Person of the Year was “You”.

likefunnysmart

It’s actually pretty funny

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Chief Millennial Officer

likefunnysmart

This one was mine at one point: Senior Manager, Global Biscuits Strategy

likefunny

My type of strategy!

“Catalyst” - this was a real title at my company

likefunny

Related Posts

I have two offers in hand post-MBA: 1. EY-Parthenon OTS (M&A integration/strategy) as a MBA Consultant 170K base+bonus. My plan is to work there for 2 years and exit back into the Tech industry. 2. I have an offer from Amazon for a Product Management role with 30% higher pay I am trying to understand which of the two sets me up for success in the tech industry. Long run I want to be able to do all kinds of roles from Strategic Planing, Strategic Partnerships, Product Management and such.

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Let’s discuss gender pay gaps by assessing our own discrepancies. I’ll start. I’m a 29 YO female, almost 6 years experience total, at a 115 base, guaranteed 126 if I meet utilization, with potential for more bonus. No target school or MBA. I’m happy with where I’m at, but are my male counterparts on here making more or relatively the same?

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Feelings don't validate a point. Reading/Research matters. Before you open your mouth to discuss any matter, make sure your points are informed by verified data. This will help you everywhere.

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Best domestic airline (for first class and points). I’m thinking of leaving American behind. First class perks are minimal (why do I have to use my phone to watch movies but you have no outlets...

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Need help deciding on whether to take an offer...EM with 4 years post MBA experience. Offer is in Corp Dev with the following specs: 210 base 20% bonus 100k equity annualized Total $350k annualized comp Where does this land on the spectrum of exits on a scale of 1-5?

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What should I consider when going from Big 4 to a smaller company that just IPO? I know benefits won’t be great, 401k match is 1%, health insurance I assume will be more expensive. Obviously job security is much lower. Any other big things I should think about before accepting my offer? (Base pay is higher, bonus the same, and I’m getting equity).

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When is the joining bonus paid in EY India, first salary or anytime later?

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Fishes, need an advice. SO and I have pre-tax salary of $180k. Cleared out all debt recently (education, marriage etc.).15% goes to regular 401k. Confused whether/not to buy dream home of $460k (with closing cost). Numbers at 3% rate and 10k down payment looks doable. Needs suggestion if we need to consider any other points. Buyer mkt in my area (NC) is crazy. Same home would have been 15k cheaper 2 months ago. Rising prices adds more concern to us. we are 1st time home buyers and both on H1Bs

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Name your top 3 consulting firms to work for. List why you love them. Dont’t want negative points.

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Don't get any green choice points posted to the account. Any of you have the same issue with Marriott? How did you resolve it?

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Is there a travel agency or service that specializes in booking trips using your points?

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Worst CEOs you’ve ever worked with... I’ll go first, new CEO wanted us to drive his whole meeting with investors. He asked me for talking points so he could keep tabs on our team’s progress on key messages to investors 😂😂😂 I’m like dude, literally this is your ONE job, why would you outsource it to your advisors?

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What is the appraisal cycle in IBM? How much hike one should expect in GBS for Salesforce skill? Also, I have joined at 20LPA+ 3 joining in Jan 2021, whereas one of my friend with same experience joined with 27LPA+3 joining bonus. Can I ask for correction in next appraisal cycle?

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Can someone advise on the crypto trading risks, certain points to keep in mind while investing in crypto?

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CSR cardholders: are you redeeming your points now, or holding onto them for 2022+ (or whenever travel is truly back)?

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Okay, it’s week 3. I have a really noisy class. I have tried points, draw tickets, attention grabbers??? Help!!!!!!!

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Do all FAANG companies offer a joining bonus?

likehelpful

If we don’t hear about EOY bonus raises by Friday, we all mass quit. Agreed?

likesmart

Has anyone applied for the Uber CC? I know there's some "points people" in here so curious if these deals are as good as it seems. 4% dining and 3% airfare/hotel (which most of my travel) with no fees

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Additional Posts

This slow rollout of bonus information is beginning to feel like a hostage situation.

likeupliftingsmart

Any fish working or have worked at PwC Deals Strategy (NYC based)? Compensation? Culture? Career trajectory?

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What is the range for a 2nd year Associate at KPMG in a cyber sec role in the southeast (ATL)?

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Any start-up companies that are fully remote? Or that will allow me to work from S Korea?

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For a friend: she has junior associate (technology) level offers from Goldman and Facebook both. she wants to grow in technology. Which one to choose considering career growth opportunities, company culture, brand on resume etc. (both compensation packages are comparable).

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Anyone here in testing practice? I have interview coming and would like to run something by.

likehelpful

What’s working at MBB like for software engineers? Are they good places to grow technical sophistication? Is it mostly ent service integration? How does it compare w/ working at a large product shop?

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I have CPA and am thinking about getting another certification. CFA may be too difficult for me. Would CFP a better and useful certification to get that will add value to you on resume/job?

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Been so wrapped up in work and job searching and studying cases for months I feel like I lost interest in everything else. Anyone else feel this way? The endless work from home and grinding has just made me obsessive about work and I dont feel like myself much lately

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When you go work for Health, how difficult is it to get out of it after a couple years?

likesmart

I'm happy in my role/salary, find it rewarding and the right work-life balance. My friends however, are talented and awesome so they've been rising up in their jobs and so, have a higher disposable income. When we go out especially on special occasions like trips/getaways, I'm starting to feel the pinch. They've been understanding and even give notice when it's a special occasion coming up where they want to splurge. If I don't go, it's fine but how do I spend time with them if everything is $$?

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trying to decipher: Persons background is very technical and they are the "go to" for technical matters on the team. When projects are being considered, they are usually last in line for inclusion

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<Vent>: When you finally get the business to break even after a multi year startup cycle, only to have a water sprinkler 🚿 main break and insurance company won’t cover it due to act of god, and 2 days later one of the vehicles is almost - but not completely - totaled by an errant deer. 🦌

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Bombed an interview case. Felt like an idiot... now what

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Anyone looking to exit, would you consider a downgrade in title for your next move? Like Senior/Manager to Analyst at a non-consulting company? Assume comp would be on par with what you make now

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Hmmm glasses or contact lenses for interview today? 🤓

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Seeing some people just roll out the bed and show up on zoom meetings. I think this will come in handy to remind them to shower and change, ‘hopefully’? 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

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Big 4. Out of curiosity, say 1 put some personal expenses on the corporate card but resigned to taking another job. I know that we are personally liable for the balance already. Do we just go through our card company?

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Best big and mid size firms in Atlanta for real estate? When considering billable hours, comp, culture, etc. I’d appreciate hearing from anyone that generally likes their firm or has any recommendations on firms to stay away from. Considering making the move from a boutique firm as a 5th year lateral.

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