Much of a rant. I am married to a family with more strong women than men. My MIL is a superstar from managing finance, house and a career. Worst thing is she loves it and while raising kids she did everything for them. I expect my husband to be an equal partner and he agrees to it however there are days his mom behavior clouds him and he won’t do anything with kid or house. Also both my husband and his brother can’t decide anything in life . It’s like growing up their mom chose everything

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Contd.. for them and this continues now. Before kid I kind of liked it and it was like I could control things my way. However I am worried what kind of behavior this would bring on my son. As much I love his cuddles and looking for mom every 30 mins, I don’t want him to become like a person who can’t make his own decisions. I have a strong personality too and someone once told me strong mothers raise weak boys. I really don’t want my future daughter in law to think what kind of son o have raised 😜. How do you ensure that your kid is independent without overdoing it ?

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My pediatrician recommended I read “strong mother strong son”. I’ve found it very interesting so far and it might provide insight on the issues your struggling with.

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Have your son start making decision at an early age. Chicken nuggets or fish sticks? This story book or that one? And encourage him to continue making choices daily as he gets older.
It might have been easier to control things for your MIL if she made the decisions, instead of waiting on men/boys in her life, and thus more efficient for her given how much she was taking on at the time. We all have different coping mechanisms. Strong women often do this, usually because whatever they do they do it better.
PS-no man is perfect. But they get married anyway. No matter what you do, your DIL will still have some challenge or the other. Best thing is to have a strong relationship with her and treat her as your daughter, not DIL, and let her know your did the best you could. Choosing the right side of the argument, and not just backing your son because he's your darling son, will also help strengthen their marriage.

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