My 10 year old just cried because she lost the charm on her croc and I’m struggling to approach it with empathy lol. Plz send tips! 😩

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No tips, but that made me think of my husband, who threw a massive tantrum this morning because he spilled a bit of coffee on the table 😬. I guess sometimes life is hard and you’re already full of emotions when the smallest, stupidest thing triggers a disproportionate response. Being a 10 year old is probably difficult, and she might already be feeling a bit sad, or might be in need of some attention and cuddles.. The charm might also have some meaning or superpowers attached that’s a mystery in the adult world 🤷🏻‍♀️

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She doesn’t have that many things in her life that are “hers” and little things can be special. Maybe akin to breaking a super cheap coffee mug that you got from a thrift store that had good memories - nobody else would understand but you’d be upset. Also - crying is so good! As a kid, I was shamed for crying about things my parents didn’t understand and now I can barely cry and it’s so awkward 🤦‍♀️

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This feels pretty straight forward. Ask her about how she is feeling and what is making her sad/cry and tell her it’s okay to be sad/cry when things happen that upset us. Just be there for her in her moment of sad. Studies show that simply being there and allowing a child to feel those feelings makes it easier for them to rebound quicker and move past those feelings.

She’s 10. I assume she picked out that charm or someone special got it for her. I know there is kind of a cache to croc charms for kids these day (🤦‍♀️). She may be sad because she lost something important to her (because in the grand scheme of life at 10, she doesn’t own that many things that are HERS). Or maybe she’s sad because she feels like she will be made fun of for losing it, or maybe she’s sad about something else and this was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I wouldn’t assume in any particular direction. All you can do is offer her a safe space to feel her feelings and to talk about it, if she wants to. Just be there for her, even if it is slightly ridiculous.

If she’s calmed down now and the moment has passed, you can talk to her about it now: “remember earlier how you were crying when you lost your croc charm? It’s okay to cry when you’re upset. Do you want to talk about it at all? I’m always here if you want to talk or just be upset.”

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