My 16yo son just announced that he wants to go to film school (directing/editing) for college instead of doing a STEM major.

I'm trying not to show it but I am completely freaking out.

likefunny
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I told my parents i wanted to be an artist/illustrator at 16, and then proceeded to go from there to architect -> biomedical engineer -> doctor -> software engineer -> tech consulting

Now I’m a product designer/full stack engineer and apply both my artistic and engineering background in my work.

Let them find their passion. If they’re good at their field, they’ll succeed regardless

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A1: he’s 16, if he wants to be a filmmaker, try to get him to hone his skill and discover his gift early (if he has any). Pursuing that early and getting some form of experience/exposure to the fuel would help him to understand if that’s something he can pursue as a career in the future.

likesmart

I have a liberal arts degree and have spent 20 years in Technology Consulting at Accenture & IBM.

My son wants the same degree I have and he starts his freshman semester next fall.

My daughter has a few years to decide, but as of today, she would either major in music or dance.

Let your child do what they want.

likesmart

Exactly - school is like practice, not a game, but a practice. </Iverson rant>

likefunny
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It’s okay, told my parents I wanted to be a chef and look where I am now 🥺.

likefunnyuplifting

Don't code the application to help someone else cook the books.*🤔

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Tell them they can do it if they want to but will not support them financially. That will make them think twice tbh

likefunnyhelpful

MC1 - same here but that’s perfectly reasonable tho, and not at all manipulative. It’s not what TC1 is proposing. It’s simply saying “I only have x$ to spend on your college, and a state school fits that budget.” Not “you better major in what I want or I’m not paying for Ivy *or* a state school” which is what TC1 is proposing.

🤷‍♀️ just because you’re a software engineer doesn’t mean he has to be.

I think it could be a good option to suggest he minor in something more like a STEM subject or something else.

That way he’s doing what he wants, but can have something else to fall back on

likeuplifting

I know just as many unemployed people in STEM as I do in film.

likehelpfuluplifting

I have a STEM degree, and didn't want to pursue academia (which I wouldn't consider the pinnacle of financial independence). Couldn't get a job with it without serious coding experience, and I'm a graphic designer now making a decent living. STEM, broadly, isn't all it's cracked up to be. Software is much more financially secure, but it's not for everyone.

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Let him? My biggest regret is giving up my film & video path because I thought business would be more reliable. Now I’m a bit unhappy while friends from college are working at studios in LA.

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You can still be very successful in film production. One of my cousins went to art school and his parents were unhappy. Now he's a designer at Google and now his parents brag about him constantly. If he's good at it, don't suppress him and let him flourish!

likeuplifting

Yep. One of my college buddies double majored in philosophy (!) and art. Know what he's doing now? He's a senior UX designer at Google.

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When I was 15 I was adamant that I would become a monkey trainer after visiting monkey jungle. I’m now a lawyer and I’m very happy practicing law and not training monkeys. Give him time to figure it out, within reason - but as many other commenters are saying, don’t put your own dreams and aspirations over his own.

likesmart

When I was 15, I was determined to be in a STEM major. Graduated with a CS degree and I am now training and herding monkeys.

funnylikeuplifting

Lol I would NOT pay for any school that is not ivy league doing a major that is valued in real life… if he wants a free ride he better work for it

likefunny

@EY7 it’s true tho...

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He will either be a multimillionaire or live under a bridge

likefunny

Or stuck in a debt purgatory like so many others these days.

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I went to film school. Loved it. Worked in Hollywood for a few years and hated it. Then went to law school and many years later I own my own firm. I would say just make sure he finishes college. You never know where life is going to take you. And be thankful he is passionate about something. That is what is important.

likeupliftinghelpful

Think about how boring - even awful - the world would be if everyone went the STEM route. The world needs art, creative and literary types, too. And if he's already bending that way, chances are he'd be miserable in STEM. Do you want him to be one of the people who hates his job and going to work every day for 40+ years?

Also, he's 16. He is exploring and might change his mind in another couple years, or he'll have even more passion. I recommend you see that he gets a well rounded education (say a liberal arts school with solid GE curriculum) so that he can truly explore different areas and come out with a good degree regardless.

likeupliftingsmart

Umm yeah. English major here. History minor. Doing quite fine with my liberal arts degree. I also find it funny that people tend to reduce the importance of liberal arts but without them, you wouldn’t know how to write, wouldn’t know about music, wouldn’t have video games to play, be able to enjoy tv or movies, laugh from comedy, or even in our world of corporate America have diversity of thought outside of math and science black and white decisions and so forth. Study what you love. And do well at it. If you have good grades the world will open up for you regardless of what you study.

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Your son has the luxury of knowing what he wants to do when he grows up at the age of 16 and you’re freaking out? That’s usually called passion and people like that tend to be far more successful than those who just go through the motions. If this board is not a perfect example of that I don’t know what is.

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I want to be a gigolo

funnylike

The jobs opportunities he will have when older are not even on our radar today. I’d say trust him and see where it’ll take him. When I was young social media didn’t exist but everything I did before actually prepared me for a career in social advertising.

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And nowadays, there is a job title called “content creator”, back in the day, these are called authors, journalists, musicians etc

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My parents were blue collar, middle class and there was a lot of pressure to get a good paying corporate job. Now that I have children, my goal is to set my kids up that they feel comfortable taking risks and pursuing their goals versus becoming a corporate cog like me

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🤷🏻‍♂️my daughter graduated from yale...wait for it...art history major. She is now following her passion and curates for the museum of Boston. Not quite raking in the cash...but she loves it, supports herself, and has a ton of great experiences and opportunities under her belt and ahead of her. She used her experience from doing the yale productions (back-stage) to organize exhibits and manage budgets...support his education (non negotiable), but I recommend letting him figure out his journey and that starts with interests. I would ask for him to share more!

likeuplifting

I told my dad that I wanted to major in dance as like a sophomore in high school
He sat me down and ran through numbers and what not and let me make my own decision
I majored in mechanics engineering and math :)

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Good thing Accenture doesn’t make anyone work weekends right?

likefunny

I get the freaking out. STEM is a stable career path to pursue while something like film is risky because there’s a chance often that it won’t work out. Maybe encourage him to still do STEM and pursue film making dreams on the side in case film making doesn’t work out? It’s realistic but don’t crush his dreams. Maybe offer to pay for side stuff for it or somethjng.

likesmart

I understand you perfectly. Does your son understand the chances of him making a reasonable living from film alone are slim to none?

Maybe talk him out of it and recommend it as a minor. He can combine something technical like a STEM major and minor in film. A bunch of schools offer that flexibility.

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Ah so guys, I have an anthropology degree with business admin minor (from liberal arts school) and worked at MBB and now MM PE so guess YMMV

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