My 3 year old’s sometimes hitting me / trying to bite me etc and it hurts. How do you remain calm and deal with this? I try to explain that we don’t hit each other, it hurts, etc but nothing’s working.

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Our kids went to recovery time when they did this. They got to stay in their room until they calmed down (and remained calm for at least 5 min) and were ready to rejoin the family. We used this for bigger things- behaviors that could cause physical harm to someone else or the pets.

The first several times it was tough- lots of crying, begging, etc. but when we let them calm themselves and get back to a place of true calm (like when we walk in and they are reading a book or playing a game with toys), it generally reset whatever was making them lash out. If you don’t let them get to the reset point, you just have to start over.

But then we would go in, big hug, and engage in play. We didn’t rehash anything about why they are in recovery time or what not. They know. We didn’t want it to be a punishment but a space to figure out how to calm down and reset.


M1: Please could you share more details about this approach? Any resource to learn more? I have a 20 mo but I can see this in my future totally so would like to learn about it. When did you start this with your kids (age wise)? Sorry, I am a FTM and just trying to learn as fast as I can.

How is your child with communication? Lots of kids act out like this with speech delays and communication issues. They aren’t able to express themselves. Also are they developmentally in line with their age? You’ll want to tailor your approach to the developmental age.


Jon Fogel on tiktok/ instagram has some good parenting practices.


I say hands aren’t for hitting and teeth aren’t for biting in a stern voice and my baby stops.

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