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My Asian parents have been fat shaming me since I was a child. Help

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My parents did this too.. I was 5”3 and 130 lbs. At this weight I considered myself fat due to their fat shaming. We were having dinner and when I took another piece of meat my mom was saying you really shouldn’t eat that much - at that point I just broke down, went into my room and cried my eyes out for two hours. Mom tried to apologize but I didn’t come out of my room for all day. Never accepted her apology. She stopped saying anything related to my weight / appearance after that. Moving out helps too, since it means you won’t see them as much

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I have Asian parents too. They always point something out - a pimple, hair, etc. Looks are really important for whatever reason in Asian cultures. It’s valued, and I’ve accepted that. I try to intentionally not surround myself with all of that all the time because I’ve found it’s just not good for my mental health. Distance helps

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I also have Asian parents that fat shamed me as well - all through middle school and even sometimes now. It didn’t help that I had a more muscular build once I lost the baby fat running track and being a lifeguard in HS. I don’t want to take away from the hurt / shame and body dysmorphia that comments like this can lead to because I ended up developing an eating disorder that I still battle with now sometimes… Honestly distance helped and therapy changed my life. You gotta live life for yourself, it’s your body, your skin, and self love starts with you. You got this ❤️ You’re beautiful inside and out even if your parents see things through a different lens.

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I’m Eastern European and my mom did this to me. I was so insecure I never wore short skirts and avoided shorts (at 120 lbs!!!). Please don’t let her do this to you. 20 years later I am still struggling with self esteem issues related to my weight, and honestly don’t know how to forgive her for all the time I lost thinking about this stuff. I wish I could have just told her that she is doing more harm than good. This is more about her issues and her self esteem than about you. I’m sorry you are going though this. We all deserve better.

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What do you need help with?

Ugh it’s the worst. Every few years I’m bigger and look back at my pictures and think I wasn’t so bad but the fat shaming made me think I’m huge. The “current” me would think I’m huge let me keep eating. Vicious cycle, haven’t broken out of it still but I’ve tried to tell them directly that I don’t want to lose weight. Came as a shock but stopped the fat shaming comments. I know this was extreme but really just surround urself with amazing gfs that’s are supportive and will be your cheer squad.

State clearly how this makes you feel & set a boundary. Distance yourself if it isn’t met. I have hung up on my mom. 🤷🏻‍♀️

If it’s been going on since childhood, and you aren’t already in it, I would highly suggest therapy (not fishbowl).

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