My best friend’s father just passed. What to wear to the funeral? Leaving from a vacation on West coast to fly to a tiny town on the East coast - buying something on the way to the airport. What do I bring her family when I arrive? I don’t even know where to begin.

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Anything conservative and dark- dark grey, black, navy blue- all fine.
Don’t worry about bringing anything- just show up. Order delivery for dinner once you get there so no one has to think about food. Go grocery shopping for them. Offer to cool- help take the mundane daily things off their plate while they deal with what has just happened. Just be there for them. They won’t know what they need help with, so the best way to help is just to jump in.

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Cook*

Dark dress and offer to run any errand you can to make life easier on them. Or playing with the kids. It’s always a struggle when babies are in the mix during a funeral so you can jump in and entertain the little ones.

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They'll have a lot of places to go to get paperwork and things done. Either stay home and do stuff for them there (kids, food, clean, etc) or offer to go with if they would like the support.

I had dropped what I was doing and just went to run all the errands with my mom when my grandpa died. She really appreciated just having somebody to be there.

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They don’t know what they need either, right now - showing up, being there, helping with whatever (cooking, grocery shopping, organizing a meal train for them, playing with kiddos to get them out of the house, cleaning, sending food, greeting people at the funeral or celebration of life, etc - anything to be helpful) is huge. Look at @optionb and some of the affiliated/suggested accounts on Instagram for other tips. Make sure the widow knows how to turn on her heat or anything the husband used to handle for this season’s change. And keep showing up - everyone shows up immediately after, then goes back to normal after a few months while the family often takes 1-2 years with all the “firsts” (Eg first holiday, birthday, vacation, milestone) without their loved one. Speak their name, honor their memories.

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