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If you don't know what's best for you, why do you want to rush a conversation? Also, as a guy. I'd bet part of it is to cool off and part is just to have some space to relax and enjoy some isolation to come back fresh in addressing the problem.
Thank you for giving me and honest perspective as a guy it’s helpful to hear
Rising Star
Give him space. See what he does. If he does reach out and try to fix things, great. If he doesn’t, maybe it’s just not meant to be, and that’s okay. You can’t control the situation or his actions, so just focus on yourself for now. Make plans with family/friends, try a new workout class, learn to cook a new meal, practice a hobby you enjoy, take a walk around the block — whatever makes you happy. You’re going to be good no matter what he does. See if he tries to prove himself as a kind and reliable partner.
Thank youu for this answer💛
He wants a month break so he can skip getting you a present lol. If your argument is about him consistently going out and his response to the constant arguments is space instead of a resolution, he doesn’t care. If he’s willing to risk your relationship over going out to the club all of the time, he’s for the streets. Leave him right there. This will be a constant and exhausting fight. Let his actions show you what to do. If he wants YOU he’ll decide what’s most important
Lol @ for the streets. Facts!
‘It feels unfair for me to have to wait for his text’? Let’s change the mindset, it’s unfair for him if he can’t even get the space he needs. You are not him, you don’t get to decide for him whether two weeks are enough. On the other hand, don’t sit around and wait for his text, go see friends, go see families, go spend some high quality alone time.
He needs two weeks to figure out if he wants to compromise? That’s a long time in my opinion. He obviously enjoys going out and he doesn’t seem to understand that bothers you. After Christmas also sounds like “so I don’t have to get you a gift.” 😂 You know him best but if you have spoken your peace and he’s not willing to compromise then you have to decide what’s best. Now let me go follow my own advice and… my situation is complicated but it shouldn’t be. 😅
for a second i thought i wrote this post.
going through the same thing. it’s tough. haven’t really figured out how to manage it. but trying to keep myself occupied.
take the time to reflect and see if you want to be in the relationship too. it’s not just about what he wants. does he meet your needs?
Seeing your response to the question about why you are fighting. If you’re fighting about him wanting to go party, and you wanting to stay home with him, and he wants a month to think about it, isn’t he just taking more time to go out partying without you “hassling” him? Seems suspect.
Exactly my thought and everyone else who knows him in my life
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Just curious, why do people always feel so comfortable telling people to leave their relationships so easily. None of you all are going to be there to emotionally support the person or substitute as her bf.
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Staying in a toxic relationship with a man-child that is stuck in the mental space of college and cares more about partying and getting drunk than growing up, is better than leaving and being your own person? Got it 🤨 hopefully your clients get better advice than this.
I can’t imagine a scenario I’d need a month to think about. Unless you cheated or something.
Try pulling back on him and see what he does. Hell come back quick if he cares. Pulling back will make you seem higher value and less available to him. Will straighten him out
I wouldn’t rush him. Would likely only make things worse. Maybe a “Merry Christmas”
Collecting your thoughts and healing from hurt are two different things. Each requires a separate timeline.
Life is too damn short for this type of nonsense. He wants that much space? Give it to me and move on. I read what the issue was between you two & it seems to me like he’s just not ready to change being 1) younger than you and probably way not ready to settle down the way you want and 2) if he’s choosing his buddies over his relationship with you, you already have your answer on where this is going and you’re just prolonging the inevitable. Move on now and save yourself more heart & headache down the line.
I meant give him the space, ha. Not “me”
Rising Star
You’re in different parts of your life. Like it or not you have to accept that if you want this relationship to have a chance. You have to determine what you’re ok receiving Ng from your SO and what you’re ok receiving from someone else. Is it cuddle time on the couch? Invite another friend over for movie night. Is it a reading buddy? Spends that free time while he’s hungover at a bookstore or library. Is it sex? Discuss what cheating means to each of you and if you’re ok with outside relationships.
Alt is determined that you really need things he can’t provide that you need from him and exit the relationship.
You know what you need, don’t waste your life waiting for someone else to hand it to you on a silver platter or read your mind. Communication of expectations is the only path forward.
Let's talk after Christmas means he doesn't want a commitment so he can go out and party. Find someone who is in the same frame of mind as you are. This guy is in party mode any you're not. Don't even wait for his text. Keep doing you, your life and see what happens. If he'd rather go out and party than be with you, is that the person you want to be your boyfriend?.
If he wants space, open de door, let him take the door and close it. Respect yourself before he disrespects you. In a long term you will understand.
I think it’s a little unreasonable to have such high expectations from a 24 year old. You give him a deadline and it’s going to be a hasty decision. For his age and habits, one month is too short and he’ll have a relapse. He should want to spend time with you and not be told to.
Flip the narrative. Tell him he’s got as much time as he wants. Let him come back when he’s ready. And remind him not to text you in the interim and that you may not be around.
You can give it two weeks, after that plan to live your life like he’s not coming back. You are at your prime. Take control. You don’t have time to baby sit grown ups.
What’s the argument about?
You can’t make somebody change. Unfortunately women get into relationships all the time thinking they’ll change the man and it doesn’t happen. What you see is what you get unless he decides to change. I think this is too long of a period of time and I think he’s gonna go out and play around while you’re waiting for him to cool down.
Sorry but this relationship feels like it has an expiration date. Maybe 12/25
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My now ex and I just went through something similar. We were having similar fights about me wanting to spend more time with him and him becoming more distant. My ex didn't ask for space- he would just not return my call/text until the next day. I wish he had asked for space.
It sound like he basically wants a break for a month. Did you talk to him about any rules while you're on this break (are you allowed to date other people, are you allowed to sleep with other people, etc)?
I also know that this is a stressful time of year, and perhaps he wants more freedom to see his friends over the holidays. How long have you guys been dating? And how old are you (I'm assuming mid-20s)?
I’m 31 and don’t like going to the bars much at all, let’s date 😉
Space for like a day or two, max. Not a whole month. He talking to someone else, change your dude.