{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "My bipolar father has ruined our whole family's lives. He won't take his medicine, keeps having episodes, and only cares about himself. I only feel hatred when I am around him or see his face. He has made us miserable. I don't know how to deal anymore. He doesn't even know me anymore, he doesn't know any of us, but will put up an act in front of the world. I don't know what having a dad looks like. Apologies for the vent.", "post_id": "5fb601123595b80024282f50", "reply_count": 21, "vote_count": 10, "bowl_id": "59e88be7e2808e00149b0443", "bowl_name": "Women In Consulting" }

My bipolar father has ruined our whole family's lives. He won't take his medicine, keeps having episodes, and only cares about himself. I only feel hatred when I am around him or see his face. He has made us miserable. I don't know how to deal anymore. He doesn't even know me anymore, he doesn't know any of us, but will put up an act in front of the world. I don't know what having a dad looks like. Apologies for the vent.

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

I have first hand experience with this 😞 my dad is 60, he’s set in his ways permanently, thinks he’s right all the time, has an attitude problem, yells a lot, doesn’t work and financially depends on everyone else in the fam...I know he cares for me but after many years of horrible arguments, I’ve come to accept that he is an elderly at this point, I will talk to him like an elderly and will not take his words seriously or to heart. I still live with him and my family, so I really learned to just keep the peace. It’s easier said than done but it’s the only way now! I think this applies to any family member that frustrates you to the core!

like

Wow are you me?

My father is the same. It may be harsh, but I cut mine out. I decided that it’s time I keep the positive and meaningful relationships. I had tried to talk to him many times and either get called a liar or things will change for a week. I got sucked in each cycle to only get disappointed. Once I told him I was done, he still never got it and blamed it on something other than reality. I will see him at thanksgiving and be pleasant and of course I care from a distance, but the pain didn’t work for me anymore. That may not be the best for you, but don’t forget to keep your well-being a priority. Thoughts and prayers.

like

Sameeeeeee. My bio-dad (tinkering with bi-o-dad) took over full time after my mom died. Needless to say, I left at 18 and have not looked back. I try to remain civil and extend an olive branch occasionally, but he is compartmented and I manage the interaction. It’s exhausting, but some people are incapable of seeing their own issues as an “issue” for everyone else. Stay strong. Step back from the conversation and swirl of emotion. And leave, if you can.

I really feel for you. My ex-boyfriend and my ex-best friend both suffered from severe bipolar disorder. I think most people don’t understand that this is not just a frustrating family member, it’s a whole other level of toxicity. I don’t fault people for having bipolar disease, but I do fault them for refusing to attempt managing it through medication and therapy. Ultimately I couldn’t take it and had to end those relationships for my own sanity. I know it’s different with a parent and you may not want to completely sever that relationship, but I urge you to prioritize your own well-being as much as possible.

like

Hi! Please don’t be apologetic. We all have some or other issues. Has anyone in the family sat him down and shared the concerns? Is there anyone that he feels connected to and could talk him into talking his medicines ? Who all are living together with him?

like

Op you can't argue with them. Talk to a psychologist please. You are treating them as a normal person ..you need to know how to craft their mood and day. They are kids

Feel this. My father is bipolar. Right now he is depressed but taking medicine, which I am grateful for. When he was last manic though he spent all of his money, got a DUI, etc. All the while we tried to get him to go to a psychiatrist and get on medicine and he kept saying that he was fine, all the while asking us for a place to stay, money, rides from the bar, etc. When he is depressed, he’ll recognize his depression, but when he’s manic, he thinks that he is “normal”. It’s so so hard to deal with. Really sorry you’re going through this too. You may just want to distance yourself from him as much as possible. It’s sad, but it might be what’s best for you right now at least. Sending you hugs 💕

like

Wow, this is very similar to my moms behavior. We can never convince her she needs help, it’s always a huge fight and we always lose. Eventually she does something silly that gets her noticed by the police and she gets put into medical care. Often they release her from care too quickly and the cycle repeats for weeks until finally she’s held long enough to get back under control with treatment. Then, we have to catch up on the rent she owes, find her vehicle/often get it out of impound... we used to go to her employer at the time to ask them if they could put her on leave vs letting her go. Now, we (my brother and I) distance ourselves when the tell tale signs set in and support one another.

like

I feel you and sympathize with you on not having a mentally present father who can cope with parent responsibilities and appropriate behavior, my dad is an alcoholic who refuses to get help. I feel that same resentment and hate, it is the reason I dislike holidays because it forces me to go home. Someone told me to read the book “You can heal your life” and talks about how to forgive people that were incapable of taking cars of us. Haven’t read it yer

Picture? Difficult to imagine without seeing it

I sorta grew up with a severely bipolar (with schizophrenia too) mom. I thankfully ended up with my dad and grandma but she was still in my life when she could be. Overall, it was quite the burden on my brother and I. We became very hyper vigilant about her mental health, signs of her approaching an episode and then attempting to do damage control in the aftermath. The biggest burden was on my brother, who was older and had to stay with her (different fathers.) while it has made my brother and I very close, it is definitely not a very traditional childhood/young adulthood/adulthood. As, the kids become the parents quickly. We had been tracking her down, trying to recover financial messes she makes during episodes, trying to get her in the hospital system for as long as possible, since we our early teens. Somehow, her relationship with my brother has survived, albeit a rocky one and very unfair for him. My relationship with her not so much. I’m 35 and he’s 37. Now, sadly, when she has an episode we both ignore her and simply call the police if she shows up. It sounds harsh, and it is harsh... but we cannot control her. She has attacked my brother in the past during episodes and gets very cruel. She’s very timid and sweet normally but has always made very very bad decisions, refuses to give us power of attorney for medical/finances, etc. I don’t feel like she’s ever owned her illness and worked on putting safety nets in place to help us help her. She used to also get herself into shitty situations with bad boyfriends (abusive, drugs, etc)... bipolar episodes are easily triggered by stress in my experience. He also has little ones. So, we’ve switched to a unified defense and hard wall approach. My heart goes out to you as it’s a very hard thing to struggle with. I’ve never talked to a professional about it (and I should because I feel anger and resentment toward her, so I’ve just removed her from my life.) removing her from my life though has brought me a lot of peace. It’s also dampened the damage after episodes pass as I focus more on my brother and holding strong than on her.

My dad has it too. Could emotionally blackmail him to take medicines after putting him into an ambulance faking a covid test.. he was in hospital for two months. Injected medicines. He is normal now. Takes daily cocktail of antipsychotics

This is very true, he is so manipulative

Dm me if you need help on brainstorming

Related Posts

How much notice should your manager, client and project get about your coming paternity leave?...especially if it coincides with a Go Live

A coworker this week told me I look 13. I know I have a baby face but that’s so rude! I should have told her she looked 50 (she’s not 50)

likefunny

Inheritance in india- Have a significant inheritance in india that I’m looking to invest/park somewhere safe. Anyone know what can be done? I don’t like land due to the “black money” component that will be hard to liquidate and bring here. Fd are insured only upto 1.5L rupees and private lending seems super risky due to lengthy judicial process. Anyone have tips? Only child so no sibling to trust investments/money with in case I wanna put it in a business there.

likefunny

Having a hard time figuring out where to buy a long term house. We both work in the city, and have a kid. We want decent space (is a yard too much to as for?), good schools, nice town, walking distance to the train. Yes - I’m hoping unicorns do exist. So far something like Bronxville and Scarsdale seem like good options. Open to checking out other towns in any region as long as the commute to Bryant park is close to an hour. Any suggestions?

like

Anyone ever negotiated parental leave before? I have an offer on the table. Gave me what I asked for $ wise and PTO. But mat leave is not great. Not trying to have a baby now, but in the next 5 yrs.

like

Any recs for office chair within $100 range? Asking for a baby sister who’s a broke college student. Doesnt have to b fancy/super fancy but something that r of decent quality… i know its a stretch to ask for this budget🤣

like

At the other big 4 firms - what are the details of the maternity leave benefit? How long does someone have to be employed before qualifying? How long is the leave before labor & how long is the leave after? Thanks!

like

PwC moms, looking up the paid parental leave policy. It seems like even though I will be eligible for 26 weeks of leave, only 8 of these will be paid. Is that right, looking for guidance here.

like

My girlfriend is pregnant and is looking for recommendations for good cotton wear during later stages of pregnancy. Any ideas?

like

Got married too early (6months) with a narcissist “love bomber”. Didn’t know what love bombing was, never had dated a narcissist before, and I thought I had found the one. I’m 4 months pregnant and

like

What precautions have you taken for an infant or baby on airplanes since they can’t wear a mask?

like

Anyone else experience more challenges with setting boundaries for WLB when your lead is also a mother? I’ve had no issues with setting boundaries with past partners /leads (all males /dads) and have them respect it. It feels harder to ask since she understands the stress too.

like

I go on maternity leave soon, and my firm offers 16 weeks paid leave, which I plan to fully take advantage of. The only female shareholder in our office keeps pushing me to only take 6 weeks though, because that's what she did. I feel really put off by her comments, but its also making me feel guilty about taking the full time. This is mostly a vent, but if anyone wants to give me some words of wisdom or thoughts, I will take them!

like

And Barron just blew it. Poor kid

Pregnant, just got a new job offer. I need to drop the pregnancy bomb now (I’m 24 weeks along). Really looking for any advice on how to say this in negotiations. I really want to see if I can negotiate our maternity leave. Also want to break the news in a way where they don’t feel deceived.

like

Anybody here who works full time and from home (spouse too) and has a kid to watch? Daycare has a bad rep to me and nanny is expensive. How did you pull it off.

helpfullike

This baby is competing with my Bose NC headphones. The baby is winning. (No fault or judgement to the mother.... I feel bad for her, she's a trooper).

like

I hate calling parents! What helps you out in making parent contact?

like

When did you start telling folks at work that you are pregnant? I am 8 weeks pregnant now. i am at a consultant level and concerned whether this will affect staffing since i don't have a deep network.

Additional Posts

How far has the Slack infection spread? Is anyone safe?

likefunny

Is coming back to your old firm and becoming a 'boomerang' ever a good idea? (Big 4)

like

Would you consider working as a contractor while on the bench with your current firm? 🤔 Unethical? Too risky?

like

Hi fiserv, How is bench policy in mphasis. I have heard that if you are more than one month on bench then they not give any salary till u assigned with any project. Is it true?

like

Anyone have salary for publicis PM salary? Glass door reflected differently

like

How many people got a raise due to inflation?

funnylike

Looked at a product management role on LinkedIn, and it had 900 applications within 8 hours of being posted. Is this level of competition normal for the job market? Any advice on how to stand out?

like

Best exit opportunities in Charlotte NC? Post MBA

likefunny

What are the chances of tesla going down to 450-500 range by next week end after snp inclusion?

like

Anybody looking for data people just got laid off

like

God please send me a reasonable project where I can make Manager.

like

Can I quit Deloitte right after my annual bonus is paid out and still keep the bonus?

likesmart

What should I expect in lateral interview? I haven’t interviewed since law school (5 years ago).

like

I recently got a verbal offer from KPMG strategy. Is that more prestigious than like, most other firms? Like, I know MBB is done with recruiting; I feel like below MBB for name recognition is the Big 4 and other firms aren’t as reputable. I’m trying to decide whether or not I should interview and apply to other firms or just take this one (assuming a written offer ever comes along). Also, I prioritize work culture and exit opportunities over salary, but don’t want to be paid below poverty line.

like

Anyone hiring a junior CW in New York?

like

Is Guidehouse only hiring for funded positions? Any hires to the bench?

like
like

Is it safe to travel outside of USA when your H1B is going to expire in 8 months? (Extension will be filed at the 6 month horizon.)

like

From the point at which you go to your manager about getting a promotion now... how long does the actual process take before you literally get it? And what can you do to speed it up?

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the Fishbowl app

Get realtime notifications and see
what's happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal