My boss assigns projects with unclear expectations and provides no guidance on how to achieve them.

I've asked for help, and, to avoid a long post, she expects me to figure it out. Perhaps you go through this too, but when I don't have a clear guide on completing big projects, it paralyzes me because I don't know where to start. On top of that, I have anxiety, so "it has to be perfect".

How do you approach projects when your boss plays the "guess what's in my head" game?

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Are you me? This same exact thing just happened to me. I feel your pain. Could you ask if you could have an interview session or create an outline that she can respond to? My boss that just did this to me said that he has a hard time guiding without having something to react to. Which is counterintuitive to me but maybe your boss is similar? Try to get a draft put together and let her either rip it apart or give some guidance. I’ve kind of gotten to a damned if I do damned if I don’t attitude though at this point so maybe that’s a bit cynical. Sorry, not much help, just working through the blow up that happened earlier this week.

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Ugh, that is so frustrating.

But if you don't know what they want, go with what YOU would want. You're not a mind-reader.

Think "if I were to assign this project, what would be MY goal/action items for the project?"

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I don't understand why they just can't put in extra effort to guide us with the tasks they give us. It messed up my mind when my boss did this to me. It even made me consider leaving.

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I had a biz partner like this. I even had to tell him multiple times that people can’t read his mind.
In 7 years working with him he hired at least 5 CFOs or accounting firms. All were highly capable, but none of them were good enough for him. They were all super frustrated because he couldn’t give them info or explain to them what he needed.


My only advice is go to others on the team for help or to talk through the project. Or deliver the best you can and expect the boss will correct you. Don’t be shy about reminding that they didn’t tell you what was needed so you did the best you could with the information you had.

This is the sign of a boss who just doesn’t know how to train people. So you may need to manage up

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I think the thing that helps me the most in those situations is putting myself in my boss’s shoes and figuring out why they need this done, what they’re trying to accomplish, and what kinds of things are important to them. Once I have a solid understanding of their perspective, I can ask them very specific questions. Overtime, I learn and I don’t need their support. Don’t worry about it being perfect, because mistakes can be corrected.

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I agree with CEO1. If you feel stuck, go to others on the team who can help you decipher what she means. And then trust yourself with the outcome. You have the job you do because you are qualified for it, and her poor instructions don't change that. Do the best you can with the information provided and, if you receive any negative feedback, ask for a better system for project assignment & instruction.

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My workstream recently implemented a requirement to get as close to SMART goal format as possible when giving an assignment - it’s been helpful to have specific, clear guidance and deadlines. Obvi this requires willingness on the part of everyone assigning tasks 😅

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Does your boss know your situation? If not, then it might be worth having a heart to heart. Yes, I get that it's really none of her business and you are under no obligation to disclose your medical diagnosis with her, but doing so might make her realize the reason why you're asking her to take those extra few steps. When I explained this to my manager, it opened his eyes and changed the entire way we work together. If you feel comfortable enough, I'd talk to her about it.

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I’ve found it helpful for me and for my supervisors to ask specific questions around project goals and boundaries, for example maximum budget, who can be involved, timelines, format of deliverables. I give options to help level set, like “would you prefer my results as a 5-page memo or as a power point presentation?” Having concrete questions that they can respond to rather than “can you tell me what you want?” makes it easier for them to give you guidance.

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When I speak I’m very direct - as a PM I keep the thought in the back of my head “The PM is an idiot” - but truly you know how dig the right info up like a genius. When speaking, tell them “my mind functions differently, so I need more clarity” and “I tend to ask more questions for clarity; I can’t establish the direction or execute without it”. If they have no familiarity with mental health, never bring it up and keep using this tactic when they are unclear. Take careful notes on the side on what they say. Also sometimes use more logical validation to lead them into giving the desired outcome.

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Does your boss happen to know about your ADHD? I was in the same situation before and I blurted out my condition in frustration. He became a lot more considerate towards me since then.

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