My boyfriend and I have been doing long distance for the past 2 years and it’s really strained our relationship. We’re both feeling really disconnected but would like to work on reconnecting. Any tips?

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Someone has to commit to moving. Eventually you both need to be in the same city or there's just no point in being together. If you both really can't live without each other, someone will be willing to make that sacrifice and if not, you have your answer.

If you do intend to be together soon, then the best tip I have for the meantime is getting naked on zoom together 🤣

likehelpful

Do you have any fun trips planned together? Plan virtual date nights even if you talk everyday normally, special nights where you have a particular activity and dress up and pretend you’re out on a date. Surprise each other with a package or a gift. Start competing with each other on an online game or activity (my partner and I compete in Duolingo learning new languages). Write each other a love letter. Every week ask a random question about their past and learn something new about them.
When will you get to be back together full time?

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I agree with PWC1. I worked full time and went to school at night. We found ways to keep in touch and make it work. It felt like a long distance relationship, but we were in the same city.

This is tough. There’s a saying that physical separation leads to emotional separation.

There are ways to combat that which I’m sure you have already implemented in your relationship: FaceTime/video calls, always scheduling your next flight to see each other before you leave (gives you something to look forward to next), the daily affirmations and communication.

But beyond that, it’s really tough because you don’t get to share in alot of the day to day that you simply get from being in proximity with someone. Walking with them to the grocery store, going to the gym, grabbing food, sleeping, cooking / cleaning / watching tv, etc.

It’s tough but i think you need a trip together somewhere to help rekindle and reignite the passion that was once there. But that’s just a short term remedy, long term, there needs to be a plan to be together. whether it’s 6 months, 12 months or 2 years. There needs to be a definitive goal otherwise you’ll continue to just dangle in their weird state of being together, but apart.

Don’t get me wrong, long distance relationships can work! But it definitely has its challenges. My gf and I were together for 2 years before going LDR. And LDR was tough for both of us and in the end, after 4 years of being together, we ended up breaking up and going our separate ways.

So I hope things work out for you! I think communication is key and there are some things (that I mentioned) that could help, but ultimately there are too many variables in a relationship to be able to single handled tell you what the magic formula is for you to work it out .

Sorry for the essay. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

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Very challenging, and also, both need to work hard to keep a good vibe not just 1 of the partners.

You need to see other people quietly until y’all meet again

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Too funny

How far is the long distance? I’m in an LDR but due to having a remote work arrangement, I will spend about a week a month with her. Any way for you to crank up your in person time together?

helpful

End it and find someone in your area. LDR are rarely worth it.

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Is there any end date in sight? There are things you can do to plug the gaps but if the long term forecast indicates this is going to be your state it might be harder to remain motivated.

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