When someone (male or female) breaks up with you over something like this it’s generally about much more than what they are saying. I say take a little bit of time to truly reflect on your relationship (good, bad and worse) and think about your contributions to it. You can’t control his thoughts or feelings but you will understand the type of partner you were and strive to be and hopefully act on that in the future.
Stay busy even when you don’t want to. Honestly, time will heal the wound. Make sure you heal well before dating seriously. It’s not fair to someone new to have to pay for the sins of an ex.
Don’t fear! It really does all work out if you want it to. I went through an awful breakup in 2011. Had to even move across the country for a truly fresh start. Met my husband in late 2012, married in 2014. He’s the love of my life. I could have never imagined a love so easy even though I thought I was madly in love with my ex.
I was in a bit of a similar position. When I moved across the country, I chose a city where I literally knew no one. I knew no one in the entire state. So I had to start all over.
Find a place where you feel comfortable meeting people. It doesn’t have to be romantically. Just find ways to make new friends.
For me, I joined a large church in the middle of the city. Lots of people my age there. I ended up making so many friends. From there, they introduced me to their friends. I actually met my husband at this church, too.
Find things you like doing, and then identify groups / ways to meet others who enjoy the same thing. Whether you meet a new love that way or not, you’ll be enjoying life and making new friends.
Reflect on what you could’ve done better, move on, then implement changes to yourself.
Were you nagging? Could you have communicated your thoughts/feelings better? If he actually was a bad boyfriend, why did YOU pick him? You say your relationship had many issues, why did HE have to leave YOU? Why didn’t you leave?
Pointing fingers at an ex will not help you in your next relationship with a different man.
Not saying you are pointing fingers. I’m just stating that these days I see people being coddled a lot, especially women. Being coddled prevents growth because the blame is always pointed elsewhere.
Painting someone as a villain when perhaps they’re simply immature, or there is just an incompatibility in communication styles is a recipe for bitterness and more turbulent relationships. Hope you heal D1.
Better off without him. See you at the gym homie. Remind yourself he sucks and was lucky to have you and then enjoy not having that chump around anymore.
I agree that’s what I’m trying to do Rather than sleep around or take revenge I have started therapy , I’m planning things with friends , and thinking of doing jiu jitsu
Self reflect, seek help if you need it (I think Booz has some benefits in that space) and begin your journey to self improvement. Guy honestly sounds immature, but who am I to judge. Good luck, we're all rooting for you!
This totally sucks. But sounds like you weren’t getting what you needed out of the relationship if you only saw him once a month and he wouldn’t text you as often as you liked.
It also probably hurts that you were trying and seems like he wasn’t. He probably wasn’t being truthful to you saying he was busy. He sounds like he wasn’t in to you (anymore?) and didn’t update you on how he was feeling, so you asking for things felt like nagging.
You deserve to be with someone who makes you feel good about yourself and comfortable in the relationship. A relationship where when you give them feedback, they listen and try.
Unfortunately, he just wasn’t your match. I’m so sorry. This hurts now. Been through this. Told myself a year from that awful point, I’d be happier than I was then. I was right.
You need to take some time to yourself. First thing I always do after heartbreak, I give them a good blocking so they don’t have a way to occupy my thoughts with the idea that they might come back. I need that to stop first to control some of my anxiety. Then, I do something for myself that I wish they always did for me. And I do something for myself that they would’ve liked. Not only are you good for them, but you’re good for yourself and you don’t need them. Then, find something else to get yourself into. Something that’ll take up the hours that you used to spend with them.
Reclaim the life you had before they were around and do it with more confidence. Or pivot and try something new. Something more exciting and less judgmental. You can even sit in reflect on why you feel the way you do. Regardless, you’re not wrong. Breakups are really hard and Anxiety is very real. And it’s challenging when the person you were with used to help your anxiety. But life is more than them. You deserve the basic foundations of a relationship, and sometimes you are the best person to give it to yourself. You deserve someone who appreciates you.
To be honest. It sounds like he finally had enough. Likely he just reached his limit.
My recommendation would be to see a therapist to both process the pain and see if there is anything you can do to make the next relationship even better
When someone (male or female) breaks up with you over something like this it’s generally about much more than what they are saying. I say take a little bit of time to truly reflect on your relationship (good, bad and worse) and think about your contributions to it. You can’t control his thoughts or feelings but you will understand the type of partner you were and strive to be and hopefully act on that in the future.
Stay busy even when you don’t want to. Honestly, time will heal the wound. Make sure you heal well before dating seriously. It’s not fair to someone new to have to pay for the sins of an ex.
Don’t fear! It really does all work out if you want it to. I went through an awful breakup in 2011. Had to even move across the country for a truly fresh start. Met my husband in late 2012, married in 2014. He’s the love of my life. I could have never imagined a love so easy even though I thought I was madly in love with my ex.
I was in a bit of a similar position. When I moved across the country, I chose a city where I literally knew no one. I knew no one in the entire state. So I had to start all over.
Find a place where you feel comfortable meeting people. It doesn’t have to be romantically. Just find ways to make new friends.
For me, I joined a large church in the middle of the city. Lots of people my age there. I ended up making so many friends. From there, they introduced me to their friends. I actually met my husband at this church, too.
Find things you like doing, and then identify groups / ways to meet others who enjoy the same thing. Whether you meet a new love that way or not, you’ll be enjoying life and making new friends.
Reflect on what you could’ve done better, move on, then implement changes to yourself.
Were you nagging? Could you have communicated your thoughts/feelings better? If he actually was a bad boyfriend, why did YOU pick him? You say your relationship had many issues, why did HE have to leave YOU? Why didn’t you leave?
Pointing fingers at an ex will not help you in your next relationship with a different man.
Not saying you are pointing fingers. I’m just stating that these days I see people being coddled a lot, especially women. Being coddled prevents growth because the blame is always pointed elsewhere.
Painting someone as a villain when perhaps they’re simply immature, or there is just an incompatibility in communication styles is a recipe for bitterness and more turbulent relationships. Hope you heal D1.
Better off without him. See you at the gym homie. Remind yourself he sucks and was lucky to have you and then enjoy not having that chump around anymore.
Any suspicion that he’s cheating?
I agree that’s what I’m trying to do
Rather than sleep around or take revenge
I have started therapy , I’m planning things with friends , and thinking of doing jiu jitsu
If he think u are nagging now, he is never going to give in !! Dump him .,
Wait so you’re still together? Thought he broke up w u
Self reflect, seek help if you need it (I think Booz has some benefits in that space) and begin your journey to self improvement. Guy honestly sounds immature, but who am I to judge. Good luck, we're all rooting for you!
This totally sucks. But sounds like you weren’t getting what you needed out of the relationship if you only saw him once a month and he wouldn’t text you as often as you liked.
It also probably hurts that you were trying and seems like he wasn’t. He probably wasn’t being truthful to you saying he was busy. He sounds like he wasn’t in to you (anymore?) and didn’t update you on how he was feeling, so you asking for things felt like nagging.
You deserve to be with someone who makes you feel good about yourself and comfortable in the relationship. A relationship where when you give them feedback, they listen and try.
Unfortunately, he just wasn’t your match. I’m so sorry. This hurts now. Been through this. Told myself a year from that awful point, I’d be happier than I was then. I was right.
😭literally teared up... Thank you for helping me realize I didn't ask for much. I feel guilty still
You need to take some time to yourself. First thing I always do after heartbreak, I give them a good blocking so they don’t have a way to occupy my thoughts with the idea that they might come back. I need that to stop first to control some of my anxiety.
Then, I do something for myself that I wish they always did for me. And I do something for myself that they would’ve liked. Not only are you good for them, but you’re good for yourself and you don’t need them.
Then, find something else to get yourself into. Something that’ll take up the hours that you used to spend with them.
Reclaim the life you had before they were around and do it with more confidence. Or pivot and try something new. Something more exciting and less judgmental. You can even sit in reflect on why you feel the way you do. Regardless, you’re not wrong. Breakups are really hard and Anxiety is very real. And it’s challenging when the person you were with used to help your anxiety. But life is more than them. You deserve the basic foundations of a relationship, and sometimes you are the best person to give it to yourself. You deserve someone who appreciates you.
Mine said I'm the one he loves me but doesn't know why he isn't giving what I need...
I agree with you
I tried giving him space I just feel like he wasn’t giving me the basic foundations of relationship
What’s the article about?
I did not
I’m too shocked from the break up to respond
To be honest. It sounds like he finally had enough. Likely he just reached his limit.
My recommendation would be to see a therapist to both process the pain and see if there is anything you can do to make the next relationship even better
But have enough of what? He saw me once a month, all I asked for is more communication and time together. He half assed our relationship
How long were you together?
1 year