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It depends on your joint financial goals, but there is a joke in the US that the man needs to put 20% of his salary on your ring so I would say you are being more than reasonable 😂
Chief
Look at Costco. They have very great quality diamonds & for reasonable price for that quality.
I have a Costco that looks like a Tiffany 3 stone
They are (at least used to be) guaranteed to appraise for like 2x what you pay for them . Great deal!
Chief
Random side note - this post got me distracted and now I’m looking at engagement rings. Even though I’m single and don’t expect to get married lol 😂
I mean general research won't hurt anyone. 😁
People will spend 2k - 30k+. Depends on the couple! There is no right answer. Do you have no debt? Are you saving to buy a home? Would you rather save for your honey moon? Do you care about "status"?
When my spouse made ~150k I picked out a very affordable 2.5k ring. He now earns triple that and we are planning to upgrade my ring to 25k+ because money isn't an issue and we feel weird with my modest ring around people who have a general sense of how well to do we are now. Not saying this is a good reason to spend tens of thousands of dollars, but it's honest.
Rising Star
🙄
What I was suggesting is OP make her choices separate from what her social circle may or may not expect. I have friends with very expensive rings and friends who don’t care at all — they have the same net worth.
And how are diamonds grown with fully renewable energy worse for the environment compared to the baseline of mined diamonds? I’ve also posted sources for vintage rings but shopping for vintage isn’t everyone’s thing.
Give him a few styles you like with various price points. If there is a design you are in love with, you could also go with a stone other than a diamond (or a lab-creates diamond) to lower costs.
Good luck and congratulations 😁
$4k is reasonable.
Agreed. We spent 5 all in and I can’t imagine possibly needing or wanting anything more
Rising Star
Make sure you look in person too, if you haven’t. You can give him tips on styles and colors you like more - cathedral, stones surrounding center, white gold, etc.
Chief
He didn’t ask you to look at prices, so don’t worry about that. Look at rings and styles you like. For 4K you are not going to find a “high” quality diamond based on the specs, however, if you like it, it doesn’t matter.
Rising Star
It really depends on your finances, your social circle and personal preferences. $4K is on the low side. Mine was $12K and I was on the lower end of my peer group (New York)
Wow, I’d constantly be scared of loosing the ring ..
Pro
Nah... insurance :)
Pro
Congrats!! My advice is to avoid the need to go traditional if that’s not you! Go with something that’s your style and you will be happy to wear every day. For me, that was more of a diamond band compared to a stone.
Enthusiast
Might also wanna go the route of Moissanite - they’re cheaper and just as sparkly.
Of course, passing down a lab grown jewel isn’t as special, so keep that in mind!
Pro
We did this - no one can tell, and my ring was $1500. A diamond ring with same size/quality would have been $5000 (we looked it up at the time)
I have a lab grown 1.5ish carat diamond that I picked out that was $3.4K I think. Go ring shopping and gauge what he feels comfortable with, but I don’t think $4K is unreasonable. My SO is in medical residency so doesn’t have a ton of cash lying around but he understood it was a piece of jewelry for life so it wasn’t an issue
It depends on what makes you happy and your financial situation. Never buy a ring thinking that it will gain resell value, it won't.
I studied marketing and diamond rings were a case study in almost any class because of their success on value perception, so I told my then fiance that if he spent on that while we were saving for a house, I'd kill him. In the end, I got a cute/small diamond family ring.
Staying on track, within a year we got married, got an almost $1MM house and we are close to having our first kid in a good financial situation.
I feel like if you go down that path when you are starting as a young family, you can justify anything.
I’d say just straight up ask him the budget if you’re picking out specific rings that he might pick from. Or just save pictures of rings you like with notes about what you like. I did this with my husband where I just showed him what I liked - white gold, round diamond, halo set etc. & then he picked out the actual ring on his own.
Pro
You should ask him to set a budget and go from there. If you want something that costs less than the budget, it’s a score but then at least you know what he’s thinking.
For comparison, most of the people i know in that salary range spent $10-20k on rings.
We spent 20k on our rings (15k for engagement ring, 5k for wedding bands), I really really love my rings and wear them every day. As long as you and your husband align on your expectation and ability to afford it, then it’s fine, just make sure you pick something you really like not just because of the price!!
Rising Star
OP - we did a lab grown 1.5c ring from James Allen and I LOVE it. I have small hands - my ring finger is a size 4 and I had to have sizing beads added, but I think 1.5c is the perfect size for me. I also really wanted a platinum band and setting plus pavé with a high clarity diamond and we were able to get everything at just under 5k. Could we afford more? Yes, but I love it, we’re saving for the wedding, and I can always upgrade it later if I want. We have a whole lifetime ☺️
If I could do it again, I’d get a Cartier Love bracelet as an “engagement ring” instead. Holds value, always in style, less fussy, and the return on value and resale is great
My parents did that for an anniversary and they still wear them almost every day - it’s such a nice and timeless idea
It’s both of your future at some point and financial goals so what he spends today will really just impacts both of you. I am also not from the US and I was very practical about my ring
I love my moissonite ring !!!