My now ex-boyfriend of almost 5 years and I broke up a few weeks ago, and over time I’ve realized some of the bad habits that I had that really heavily contributed to the fall out of our relationship

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Similar boat - I have a draft email to my ex that I never sent, it’s been there for a year or two now. Although the breakup was more due to other circumstances like long distance, I do wish I had done some things differently in the relationship and had handled the breakup differently. I discussed this a lot with my therapist too as well as my now husband. They both agreed that I should write it but said it’s up to me if I send it. The reason I haven’t sent is that I can’t tell how it would affect him. I don’t know if he would rather not be bothered and live his own life, or if he would like to hear this from me. I’m worried of being selfish that I’m getting relief at the expense of his emotions.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t send it. If I were the recipient, I’d greatly appreciate it. Just saying that it kinda depends on the person on the other end.

But really, great job in recognizing this and for thinking about an apology. The world needs more people like you!

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You’re married now. Just leave him be.

More power to you! Great idea - we should all strive to be better versions of ourselves

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Not sure if there’s anything to do about it now, but at some point I feel like I want to apologize for some of the things I did. Not in an effort to get him back, just to acknowledge what i did wrong because I’m a big believer in apologies, thoughts?

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Suggest you write a letter to him and put in a drawer until November. Keep reflecting and then pull it out in Nov and see if it still applies. Consider waiting until December. At some point something will click and it will feel really right to share. Helpful to talk to a buddy about it and have them share their perspective on where you are in the healing process

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I think if its still recent, why not?

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