{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "My child was having very high fever and didn’t eat or drink anything. I wanted to take him to hospital but my husband said it wasn’t that serious and i was overacting and that he would wait. So i took my son to hospital alone. He was so severely dehydrated and ended up 4 days in hospital. My husband didn’t check in until a day later but the first question was to ask where his extra contact lenses were. He said he wouldn’t trust me saying anything about my son’s condition because how overacted i", "post_id": "60f78c55d9b50800211c9d64", "reply_count": 23, "vote_count": 5, "bowl_id": "5a0c9a1f61b01a001937c406", "bowl_name": "Working Moms" }

My child was having very high fever and didn’t eat or drink anything. I wanted to take him to hospital but my husband said it wasn’t that serious and i was overacting and that he would wait. So i took my son to hospital alone. He was so severely dehydrated and ended up 4 days in hospital. My husband didn’t check in until a day later but the first question was to ask where his extra contact lenses were. He said he wouldn’t trust me saying anything about my son’s condition because how overacted i

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Trust your instincts…. You have them for a reason. I woke up to our son burning a fever of 103 @ 2 weeks old, I called 911- which my husband thought was a total over-reaction… a team of 10 paramedics came to my home, checked my son and NOT ONE of them advised transport to the hospital- NOT ONE! Instead the lead paramedic told me to alternate Tylenol and IBU - as a second time mom I knew my son was too young for IBU so I didn’t administer it, but their authority made me question my own gut instinct that something was very wrong. They confirmed my husband’s initial reaction and he went to bed thinking it was an overreaction. But I spent the night tossing and turning, praying for my son… and took him to his pediatrician first thing in the morning- who then had him transported by ambulance to the hospital when his temperature read 102… They had to do a spinal tap- (turns out it was an UTI) but the doctor called to report the paramedic on duty because had it been meningitis my son would have died. Please don’t ever question your instincts as a Mother.

likehelpfuluplifting

I’m sorry it happened to you and your child. The nurses and doctor who saw my son also said lucky that I didn’twait

likefunny

Ummm his child was in the hospital and he didn’t call for 24 hours??? I’d be done.

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If your husband is not trusting your motherly instincts, you should probably find a new husband. In all seriousness, he should have checked in and at the least ask how your son is doing. You did the right thing in taking your child to the hospital. You should definitely ask him why he didn't take the fever seriously and why he had to be such an ass about it.

likehelpful

His behavior is really concerning. I would have a very difficult time getting over that and he is likely to engage in repeat bad behavior.

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No these are the things that I will not be able to forget

Wow…I wouldn’t be able to trust my child with someone who doesn’t seem at all concerned with their well-being. The fact that you had to take your son to the hospital on your own is enough to show that your husband has likely checked out. His actions tell me one thing… he doesn’t care.

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You should leave him.

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My aunt sent my cousin to school despite her crying of a bad stomach ache and chalked it up to kids making excuses to get on the bus. School called hours later saying she was taken to ER with a burst appendix. Cousin almost died. Aunt and Uncle ran to hospital and my aunt can't forgive herself to this day, almost 20 years later. Everyone makes a bad call occasionally as a parent. But not calling and not caring aren't normal. 24 minutes in the hospital is too long for your husband to not care, leave alone 24 hours.

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That happened to my coworker and she feels like an awful mother about it.

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Line has been crossed. Leave and file for full custody

likesmart

Because how overacted i was. When he realised that our son condition was quite serious he never said sorry at all. What should i think about this man? I just want to leave him

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I’m sorry for this experience you’re going through. It sounds like he doesn’t have the capacity to be with this aspect of life. I wonder if there’s a mental health issue at play and/or if an old trauma was activated. I’d seek professional mental help resources to help you navigate. Do you have a company EAP plan?

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WTH? I don’t know what else to say! That’s just crazy.

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My BP just skyrocketed reading this. His first question after 24 hours in the hospital alone with your child was about his contacts?! I’d have a hard time getting over that. I still haven’t gotten over my husband dismissing my dizziness and me saying I didn’t feel right while pregnant; taking my nauseous reaction to his body spray personally and constant nagging for me to exercise. But when I ended up in the hospital for 2 weeks and a week later put on bed rest for 4 months he at least same to Jesus about it in the ER even though he still “defends” his previous dismal saying even my doctor didn’t take my concerns seriously at first. It was a nurse practitioner who saw me and got me rushed to the ER. Always always trust your instinct mama. I’m concerned there isn’t an ounce of care here…that’s really troubling.

likehelpful

Our concerns are more likely to be dismissed by medical professionals just because we are women. Thankfully the nurse was able to find out what went wrong with you

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I’m glad your son is feeling better. I would address this with your husband and let him know it’s not okay.

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Have you guys tried therapy? Divorcing is expensive and maybe can be avoided? If therapy doesn’t work, then sure

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Therapy can change a person if they are willing to change and know something is wrong. Sounds like some mental health issues mixed there to me. Maybe depression and anxiety. He might be scared that he is not a good Dad. How is his relationship with his parents….mainly his Dad. Did his Dad take part in raising him? How involved was he? That plays a MAJOR role in how new Dads either participate or don’t participate. There is so much to unpack in this scenario. I know you feel like you cannot trust him nor even love him right now. I would feel the same. As a new Mom, you are trying to figure everything out and certainly need support not more drama. Sit down with him and ask him in an inquiring way why he did those things. Not as a WTF were you thinking way. See what he says. Marriage is hard. Marriage is forever. Through all the hard shit. Through all the things you said you would not deal with…. Communication is going to be key here to get him to open up and say why he basically failed here. Good luck.

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