My close friend and I got into a fight and I took what she said about my flaws to heart and changed who I am as a person and she still doesn’t see I’ve changed and excluded me from gatherings

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Why are friends in their 20’s so cruel to each other? I have two daughters this age and it happens all too often. Cherish your friends, and don’t consider them disposable!!!!

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Why people in their 20s care so much about making connections? I can easily spend 2 days or more barely talking to anyone. (Moved countries and live by myself and i am 26)

Urgh. Sounds terrible. Your friend sounds like she had more issues. Friendships are hard especially with women. It feels like a breakup but then women don’t get that sympathy one would with a breakup. I got dropped at 28 by an alcoholic friend and she took the whole friend group with her. Ended up being a blessing in disguise. I recommend dropping this person, going to see Brittany Runs A Marathon and look into ways you can make new friends like a running group or volunteering. Currently volunteering as a coach for the special olympics which has been a great way to meet people. Good luck and you’ve got this! Also this friend sounds like no friend at all. The entire role of a good friend is to be there for one another.

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ugh, I'm sorry you're going through this. and after your mother DIED?! this person is not a (real) friend. It may feel lonelier in the short term to move on, but beneficial in the long term.

also - by all means, learn from your mistakes and missteps, but you do NOT have to change who you are for ANYONE. if they ask that, they do not deserve you in their life - as Ariana grande said, "thank you, next."

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I’m sorry you’re dealing with this, first of all. However...
People are jumping all over the other person, saying they’re not really a good friend. I just want to say, I have a feeling they could be working on boundaries. It is unhealthy to not keep boundaries in relationships, even friendships. I have had to walk away from people I cared about because their neediness felt toxic to me. It hurts, but not having boundaries hurts even more.

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Awww, @SP1, thank you! That’s made my day :)

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Screw her. That really sucks. Some of us really value friendships. And when you lose one for simply being a person that needs that friend, you can’t make sense of it. Sorry for you! Her loss and just go do your thing. If you’re a good person, I wouldn’t worry about that nonsense. Friends are friends through good and bad. She wasn’t a friend of high regard as you thought.

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Even if you were being a shitty friend a real friend would acknowledge and appreciate your attempts at change......if they can cut you out of their life so easily perhaps they were never your friend

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I’m sorry you’re going through this and this is all so messed up. We’re allowed to be needy and want attention and support from our loved ones; that shouldn’t be a reason to exclude you

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And she refuses to talk to me about it. Idk what to do, I don’t have family close by and it’s hard to make friends in my city. I’ve never felt so lonely in my life

What were the flaws?

Stay strong. Move on. I lost my mom at 13. It was the hardest, most painful thing i have ever gone through. Your old bff was not a bff. Friends support each other in the toughest times. She didn’t. You deserve better!!!

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