My closest friend of 15 years told me she's been in love with me for several years. I don't know what to do. She's my closest friend. We talk about everything under the sun. I don't want to lose her. I could feel the pain in her voice as she told me this. She already knows she's just a friend to me. I'm serious about my girlfriend and we've discussed getting married. Is there anything I can do to lessen her pain and preserve the friendship?

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Well, you’d have to stop spending time together and wait for her to get over you. Let her go

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We live in different cities so we don't spend that much time together in person. We talk on phone often

A friend told me the same right after they went through a divorce. I was taken aback, as I too was in a relationship at the time. After explaining that I didn’t feel the same way, I ended up putting some distance between us for a few months. No hanging out at all but would still check in because after all, he was still my friend. It took about 6 months but things eventually returned to normal. He moved on, met his person, and got remarried. And I stood beside him at his wedding as his female best man. My point is, you don’t have to let the friendship go. Be patient and kind in how you communicate to her. Give her time to process it. Create a little distance but don’t disappear. Good friendships are so hard to come by. Keep it if you can.

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Thank you

How do you really feel about her?

She's my best friend.

Are you a man, op? This sounds like a rom com

Tell her you don’t want to lose her and how much you value the friendship. That might soften it.

Be up front and tell her that you're most likely going to marry your current gf and that you value your friendship and would like to maintain that. But that you want to give her some space to get over you, which means cutting off contact for at least a few months. She won't be able to get over you if you keep in contact with her on a regular basis.

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