My confession (27F) is that when it comes to dating I tend to like/get on better with older guys, but why do they all end up being either secretly married or cheaters in the end?!? Or perpetual man-children who “never want to settle”?! It’s so exhausting 😩😩

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The answer to your question is selection bias. Your target population is going to be predisposed to either being in a committed relationship already or committed to non-commitment.

You can compensate for this issue by targeting specific subpopulations like divorcee communities or support groups for widowers, although you will likely encounter more confounding factors.

Alternatively, you can get more specific about your discriminating criteria outside of age, and find people that way.

likesmart

I’ll be honest, there are some Ed Norton from Fight Club vibes in this approach…

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I’m in my late 30s and I don’t want to settle down yet. Mainly because I adopted my half siblings when I was 25. While most of my friends were having a good time, I was doing bed time tuck ins, parent teacher conferences, and school projects. They’re older now, and I have a great support network, which gives me time to do things I couldn’t in my 20s like casual dating. I’m not really interested in settling down and having to do it all over again.

We’re not all man children. Some of us may just want to enjoy the time we didn’t have before.

likeupliftinghelpful
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Let my boys hunt in peace

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Haven’t heard douchenozzle used in like 5 years. Nice

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Lol your responses in this thread speaks volumes

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very mature

Surprising how many late 30s-early 40s guys are not ready for serious relationships

likehelpful

PM1 I think also that many people are single because they just haven’t found someone compatible or whom they are ready to commit to, or a relationship has run its course

Because you date people who don't want to settle with you or don't want to be exclusive with you. This is not about them only, this is also about you.

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Maybe. And I hope you find someone great soon.

Looking at the truly terrible responses and people getting so hyped and triggered really not helpful

OP: I think in general women prefer older men since they think they are more mature but the unfortunate truth is guys mature much slower and at a later age than women. Having said that, if you meet the right person , all of this will not be an issue :) so keep at it and I am sure mr right is somewhere out there!

Lastly, Older guys being married or cheaters , that can happen at any age but keep trying! Dating is hard and we have to put in the work to find your significant other. So don’t lose heart and chin up!

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Same OP 🙋🏼‍♀️

Probably a correlation between age, singleness, and man-childhood.

Should make a graphic of your experiences to establish a coefficient and identify a break point (which should be the upper bound of how old you’re willing to date).

Or don’t be a data nerd and heuristically just date a little less old?

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Do you find guys less than say, 5 years older than you to just be immature/uninteresting conversationalists?

This can come across the wrong way, but could truly just be an intelligence differential — added age gives normal distribution brains the time they need to catch up to your speed 🤷

I personally could never date anyone less sharp than me; would drive me completely nuts… so I appreciate the women in the world willing to date down a few IQ points from wherever they’re at 😂

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I don’t think you’ve met the right one yet! I met and married my husband while I was in my early 20s. He is 10 years older, and just treated me like a queen the whole way through 😊 married for 12 years, couldn’t be happier.

The one thing I did before meeting my husband is write on paper a relationship ideals list (what do I want my relationship to look and feel like), and a partner ideals list (what characteristics are must-haves for me in a partner). Then, I went on dates and refused to settle for anyone who didn’t meet those qualifications. It helped me cut through those who weren’t ready to commit or were acting shady.

Keep looking - your man is out there!

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I have a very similar story. Except I met my now husband in my mid 30s and he’s 11 years older than me. He’s the best man I’ve ever met, treats me like a queen, and I’m glad I didn’t settle and waited for him. I also wrote down what I wanted in a man and needed in the relationship; and my husband checks all of the boxes and then some. Don’t lose hope and if you’re attracted to older men, don’t change that just for the sake of settling.

likeuplifting

Maybe it’s married cheaters you’re into 🧐

Daddy issues

Lady, I think you answered your own question. Best case scenario for older guys is that he’s divorced through no fault of his, but most are either immature or cheaters. The normal ones have already found their respective forever girls and are holding on for dear life.

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