My dad is basically not a nice person and I have never gotten along with him but he said things that were racist, demeaning, divisive and toxic. Given his personality, I don’t expect anything better..

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The silver lining is that you didn’t end up like him. So, kudos to you!

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Its your dad only have 1, you are using triggered millenial buzzwords

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Our parents grew up in a different time/period and what shocks us today was once tolerated when they were being raised. Our kids will probably be shocked at how we tolerated some stuff (I don't know what yet) but be patient.

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That's not an excuse. I was raised in the 70s . I remember desegregation. Had such racism thrown in my face as a kid. I'm not like that. I married and had children with someone whose a different race than we. My father never accepted this. I posted earlier that I went as far as cutting out of my life.

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I faced this when my father was alive. He was so bad I had to remove him from my life. Went 15 years without speaking to him. When he got sick I did visit to say goodbye.. mainly for me.

Do I have regrets, some. It's been 8 years since he passed. When I think about him I only remember the bad.

We need to accept and have peace with our decisions. He was so toxic I don't think I made the wrong choice.

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My dads racist as hell but I love him anyway. It’s hard to admit that parents are far from perfect but all I can say is what I do. I just try to be better than his flaws.

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I understand how you feel but he is your father. Need to accept him and have no choice. You are both allowed a difference in opinion. I would only judge you for your own actions and not another person’s behavior (including parents). I don’t agree with my parents all the time and keep quiet to maintain peace with family. That is normal and nothing to be ashamed. Our parents are older and not trained to be PC/fake like the rest of us. We should not have to be anything but ourselves with family.

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(Contd) but I am at a loss on how I should have reacted. I kept quite the whole time because I knew speaking is not going to change his opinions. I am embarrassed that I am his creation. This is too close to home and not just something I read in the news.

My father is the same🤷🏻‍♀️ I moved to the US when I was 20 and since then I feel happy, married to a man with different nationality and different religion. I set my boundaries and forbid my dad to tell me anything what I’m not agreed with. I tell him this: “dad, I love you, but I don’t wanna listen to this”
It took me 10 years...

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