{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "My daughter had a private school visit yesterday with a school we’re interested in where the kids go in small groups with a teacher to play. At first we thought it went great she said she had fun. After asking more questions we found out she got in trouble because she wanted to do something else during story time. How much could this impact her getting accepted? This is our first kid in school (pre-k) so not sure how everything works.", "post_id": "61e42d2b187d34002900991c", "reply_count": 7, "vote_count": 1, "bowl_id": "5a0c9a1f61b01a001937c406", "bowl_name": "Working Moms", "feed_type": "bowl" }

My daughter had a private school visit yesterday with a school we’re interested in where the kids go in small groups with a teacher to play. At first we thought it went great she said she had fun. After asking more questions we found out she got in trouble because she wanted to do something else during story time. How much could this impact her getting accepted? This is our first kid in school (pre-k) so not sure how everything works.

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Feels like kind of a red flag if she got in trouble for doing something totally developmentally appropriate? Maybe that’s not the school for her?

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For being a visit, she surely didn’t know the routines on he first day. I doubt she was in “trouble.” Instead they guided her back to the group listening to the story. My guess is there was lots to see and play with and at that moment she was distracted. If that affects her admission, then I wouldn’t want her to be there anyway. There is much worse behavior than that little incident.

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Speaking as a private school board member, I’ve never seen a kid “in trouble” on a visit day. It’s very common to have to redirect kids not used to the routine and overly excited by the new environment. The only time we have concerns is when the child reacts poorly to the redirect (hitting, biting, etc. or withdrawing and becoming non communicative). In those cases we’ve talked to the parents - sometimes Montessori wasn’t the right fit, sometimes we tried another visit day, we’ve also deferred kids that just aren’t developmentally ready.

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Thanks for this! So ideally is the visit to screen for developmental readiness?

We had a similar situation with our daughter at a high end NYC school. I didn’t think too much of it until the head of the school brought it up at the parent interview. As someone already mentioned, my kid was involved in age appropriate play (she was pretending to be a T-Rex 😂). The head of the school made comments that dinosaurs are for boys. I walked out of the interview. Luckily we got into our first choice instead. I think if the school makes any comments about your child’s behavior it’s more a mark against them unless you know it’s an actual issue.

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I’ve been where you are. First, the teachers, staff understand children and should know how to manage. She’s not the first child that they’ve had to redirect. Second, private school admissions can be a crap shoot. With me, had I understood how tight it was to find a spot for TK, I would have waited until kindergarten. We got waitlisted at all 3 schools because siblings and teachers kids get first spots. Fortunately, a spot opened up before the school year. My point is that your daughter is a wonderful little person. She will be admitted into the school that is right for you and your family. She was able to be redirected and that says a lot. I wouldn’t worry about it.

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To be clear - it was your daughter who said she got “in trouble”, not the school, right? I think a child that age has a different view of what happened than the teacher/school might (i.e., I wouldn’t worry about; if she was generally agreeable to being redirected back to story time, I can’t imagine a school finding that to be unacceptable behavior!).

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