{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "My daughter told my wife to not worry about telling me about her doughnuts with daddy event at school because I’ll probably be away for Work. I’m applying for local 9-5 starting tomorrow.", "post_id": "5a9631fd7510c50013ba7a40", "reply_count": 41, "vote_count": 218, "bowl_id": "552d1d24dc1c586b09d2d051", "bowl_name": "Consulting", "feed_type": "crowd" }

My daughter told my wife to not worry about telling me about her doughnuts with daddy event at school because I’ll probably be away for Work. I’m applying for local 9-5 starting tomorrow.

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For the people that think it doesn’t matter, it’s the small moments in life that shape the relationship. I’ve found that it hasn’t been the large events, but the small ones that I remember. It’s the moments of randomly having a conversation with my parents growing up or them surprisingly showing up somewhere that meant the most. Kids don’t care about what you do for them. They care about who’s around. Their minds process things differently. Your kid might say that they don’t care if you show up or not, but show up and you’ll see how happy they are that you came.

Good on you OP. We grind for our families, but what’s the point if we aren’t there? It’s like ending your life with a shit load of money that you never got to spend or enjoy.

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My parents never came to any of my school events, plays or activities. Having immigrant parents, they worked hard all the time and truth be told, didn’t care much for such things, really. I learned to live with it but even though I knew it was never going to happen, I always always had that tiny sliver of hope that they would show up. Sure, I turned out just fine, love my family and grateful to my parents for all the sacrifices they made so I could be where I am now but I will never forget the feels. Career driven people tend to dismiss these things and down play it but I guarantee you, the kids will forgive but they won’t forget

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Top 5 worst feelings in my life. This isn’t worth it. No job is worth it. And you bet your ass I’ll be at Doughnuts with Daddy next week!

likeuplifting

Now I want a doughnut...

likesmartfunny

😪 that is too cute...you’re a good man!!

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Family first! They are only young once.

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OP - congrats for your life choice - ppl you work with won’t miss you when you’re gone - you only have one chance to be in your kid’s life

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I get why this is upsetting, but your kid isn't going to hold it against you as long as you show your love in other ways. My parents worked full time when I was growing up, I never expected them to come to any of my school events, but I didn't equate that with them loving me any less. However it might have instilled in me this unreasonable work ethic that has landed me in consulting 🤔

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For those here saying it doesn’t matter: both my parents worked 100% and they missed the majority of those events. I know they don’t / didn’t love me less because of it, but nonetheless at every event i was hoping they’d show last minute. And sadly it translates to today’s life; too. Multiple events where I know my boyfriend can’t be there because of job / other things to do, I still hope about a last minute show up and always get a bit disappointed inside, when he doesn’t. I think it’s a feeling I don’t ever lose anymore due to the childhood experience

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Donut or doughnut, he could be a Brit. Let's not be grammar imperialist

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And OP think about how fortunate you are / many people don’t have such a defining moment that forces a choice that you realize is life-changing. You’ve been given a sign, and you read it.

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^ sure is some nice Stockholm Syndrome you’ve got there, ZS1

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I’ve traveled almost all of my 20+ consulting career and have missed tons of these things.

However, I’ve done more 1:1 lunches in elementary school cafeterias with my 3 awesome little ones than ANY “9-5” Dad. #makeitworkforyou

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When I come home, my son pretty regularly asks me to tell him where I live. He also recently told me about his friend in the neighborhood who’s daddy comes home every night. It stings and helps keep things in perspective

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I grew up with a hard working but nearly always absent father. Essentially didn’t see much of him during weekdays in middle school and high school. Your child will thank you later in life. Of that, I am certain.

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It's really not all that. It's like 20 mins. My 7 year old truly doesn't care about it. She understands that my work enables us to have a nice life including vacations during spring break, summer, and winter break. Father/daughter dance... Now that's a whole different ball game!

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@s1 catalogue vs catalog, through vs thru, doughnut vs donut.

After Dunkin Donut came in the 50's and alot more people say donut than doughnut. I know this because I am in the Phonetic Reform Practice

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K1 please don’t tell me people spell ‘thru’

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My friend said that his son said to him once: “Why do you even bother coming home?” He quit his job as an MD at McKinsey with no other job lined up that week.

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Donuts... not doughnut!

But super proud of you OP!

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I hope you are not my leaders would be a loss. Another note I teared up reading your post. Awesome!

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