How to deal with post-breakup guilt? A few months ago I broke up with my college boyfriend of 2.5 years. We had plans to move to a new city together and get married. But as reality set in, I realized I didn’t want to spend my life with him. TLDR; He really let himself go, had no interest in things I found fun, was uncompromising, had a terrible work ethic, delusions of grandeur, unrealistic goals that he put zero effort towards, etc. At the time of the break up his inability to get a job (cont.)
Therapy or talking through your feelings with friends. Sorry that happened to you!
Very sorry that happened to you. No one deserves that. Please seek therapy if you have not already, and if pharmacological intervention is needed that pursue that Avenue as well. You need to grieve the relationship, and take the time you need to process your emotions on the matter.
Don’t neglect yourself. Make sure that you’re taking care of yourself on a basic level - hygiene, adequate sleep, eating regularly, etc.
Get regular exercise if you can. Even going for a 30 minute walk each day can go a long way.
Surround yourself with good people that can provide you w/ emotional support when you need it, and can even distract you from your rumination on the relationship by taking you out somewhere.
Your ex’s actions are a reflection on their character and has nothing to do with yours. Don’t fall down that rabbit hole of thought. Definitely talk to a therapist, it’s helped me deal with other issues
The psychological fallout from breakups in long term relationships are difficult. Time is the best healer.
Go no contact and start living your life. Don’t check their socials or see how they’re doing through mutual friends. They no longer exist to you.
At first it will still be challenging. You’ll wake up and still grieve and contemplate “what-if?” and “why?”. Slowly, over time those thoughts will become less and less frequent and one day you’ll realize that you hadn’t thought about your ex all day. And another day you’ll wake up and realize you feel nothing towards your ex. Not sadness, happiness, longing, bitterness, or fantasizing. Just nothing. They were a past chapter in your life
Impermanence. Nothing lasts forever
Give it time. Life goes on
As an immediate potential fix, try meditation (I’ve avoided it all my life until I tried and realized what I’ve been missing). I’ve been using guided meditations through Balance App, when I go to sleep. The app is free for 1 year. I am recently divorced and live by myself - ever since that I started having anxiety creep up right before falling asleep. Having guided meditation to fall asleep to actually helped me. Hope this helps you too.
Rising Star
Look into the mirror, and say ‘breath, learn to love yourself’.
I went through the same thing and as stupid as it sounds - time. Therapy will also help. But it comes down to time.
Go outside, take a walk, do some grounding and if u have a physical activity, don’t stop it no matter how the urge to do so is strong now, cold shower….talk to someone who can listen to u, better someone u know in person, u want to talk, pls dm me, overall remember one thing, panic attacks are a normal response just don’t let them take over ur life!
If you would like we can send them back the the streets of Compton where they belong. Be strong !
Therapy. Do virtual. It happens.