{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "My father and I got into a fist fight. He was way more hurt then me. Cops came and arrested me. My father is not pressuring charges and is dropping the case. But I was still arrested for a “simple domestic violence”. I think that’s what they called it. I have a court case but my father has already agreed to drop the case. The police made it clear this will stay on my permanent employment record. Will this impact my employment? Please serious answers only I’m freaking out.", "post_id": "62c29e596560f9001f3a2ad6", "reply_count": 131, "vote_count": 11, "bowl_id": "5e6fe1c31f5e51001d267e46", "bowl_name": "The Work-Life Bowl", "feed_type": "bowl" }

My father and I got into a fist fight. He was way more hurt then me. Cops came and arrested me. My father is not pressuring charges and is dropping the case. But I was still arrested for a “simple domestic violence”. I think that’s what they called it. I have a court case but my father has already agreed to drop the case. The police made it clear this will stay on my permanent employment record. Will this impact my employment? Please serious answers only I’m freaking out.

likesmartfunny
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Can't answer what will happen with employment, but I can offer some info on the criminal side of it based on over 10 years of local law enforcement experience.

Depending on the state in which it occurred, the police do not need your father to press charges in order to prosecute you. All they need to is see evidence of a domestic assault and an initial complaint. This is different than other assault types because domestic abuse victims are often pressured by their abusers or others involved to drop charges. This puts victims in an endless cycle of abuse that ends up not being prosecuted, and puts the victims at greater risk. My point is that the judge most likely will not drop the charges against you just because your father decides not to press them.

As far as your criminal record, when a criminal background check is run, whether it be state or federal, the arrest will show up. At this point the arrest will show as a "No Disposition" result. This means that the charges have not gone to trial yet. Once it goes to trial and it is over then the disposition from the trial will show (guilty, not guilty, etc.) as well on the arrest. If for some reason the charges are dropped by the police prior to trial, the arrest will still show on your record as "Nolle Prossed" (which basically means unwilling to prosecute).

If you're found not guilty or nolle Prossed, the arrest remains on your record until expunged. You will need to hire a lawyer to get the arrest expunged, and that can take quite a while.

If found guilty that stays on there forever unless you request an expungement after a period of time, usually after the punishment period.

likesmart

Most of the responses here are from people who have likely never experienced anything like this in their own families.

Unfortunately I have but specifics here all matter. You paid rent and had a lease and I don’t while know the specific terms of that. Assuming it is standard and you have basic landlord-tenant protections, you may be able to file a complaint against your father. Even though your girlfriend was there, it’s unreasonable to expect you wouldn’t have a guest. Proving that she was living there comes with a burden of proof and a process. He didn’t follow a process to evict and began harassing you based on your description.

If this assault occurred in your apartment, you can file a complaint of harassment against your father. If he got in your face, that’s threatening you and that situation plays to your benefit. Landlords don’t get in their tenants face. This will help you to argue that this was justified as you were being harassed.

From a background check perspective, this will show on your arrest record but muddying the water here can be helpful for you. This is a domestic incident and anyone really investigating this can find that. You can explain this as an unfortunate incident with family that escalated. You can throw in that you suspect that your parents may have been drinking and despite you having a valid lease, your father didn’t abide by that.

Most people have families and most families have dysfunctional elements. You’re young and renting from your parents can be seen as an element of immature expectations. The fact that you were in part doing it to help them financially plays to this. So long as nothing happens again, this is something you should be able to explain away and likely won’t resurface.

If you already have the job, you should be fine but if you ultimately want to get another, you don’t want to end up feeling stuck.

likehelpfulupliftingsmart

Landlords can come in if invited, with notice, or if theres an urgent need (broken pipe, gas issue, etc.)

At a late hour, this type of harassment is completely unreasonable. If he came in while univited, it’s trespassing. If you asked him to leave and he didn’t, it’s trespassing.

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My uncle did this and killed my grandpa. Spent five years in jail for it. Broke my grandmas heart. Alienated my uncle from the entire family. Why on earth would you fight an elderly person??? While I don’t think it will effect your current position, it can and should show up on future background checks - stupid decisions have consequences! You should also seriously consider some anger management courses or something so this doesn’t happen again. Normal people don’t get in fist fights, in general, but especially with the elderly.

likefunny

If anyone barges into my living space in the middle of the night, they'd be getting off easy with just getting the sense knocked out of them. Good restraint.

helpful

First, I’m really sorry. Second, get a good lawyer. The police have no real idea about charges and their future impact. If you have a clean record, it’s possible that a good lawyer can adjust the charges or plead them down to a misdemeanor. Maybe something that can be expunged after time.

It’s possible this doesn’t follow you around.

Good luck.

likehelpful

Op - listen to this!!! You have to get an employment lawyer asap to sort your dilemma on the current job issue!
Hope you and your gf are okay and that everything gets resolved soon! Best to you Op! God bless

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You just destroyed your relationship with your parents and most of your family and you’re concerned about a job? Your main job now should be rebuilding your family relationship. Say goodbye to holidays and family get togethers. Hope the anger and job are worth the destruction of family ties.

likefunnysmart

Don't worry about parents. Family fights all the time. Your parents realized their mistake and you would be persona non grata in rest of family. Make your gf's family your family.

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Out of curiosity, what was the fight over?

likehelpful

SS&C 1...idk I disagree with everything SM1 says after "by the way..." as fuck that toxic situation, walk away from it, family or not. However everything before that statement I sort of agree with...formal charges or not everything OP says pretty clearly indicates he is guilty of domestic battery charges (even if family is dropping it) and not exactly the level head you want in an office.

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There is no such thing as a “permanent employment record” and if there were it wouldn’t contain your criminal history. Your criminal history is part of a criminal background check.

Having said that, any standard employment background check will also check your criminal history and probably find it.

You need a criminal defense attorney, like right now.

likehelpful

Sounds toxic all around. Move out bro and try to salvage the relationship

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I am shocked at the number of people here who think you should repair (or even tolerate) such a toxic and abusive relationship. As a queer individual, I can confidently say blood is NOTHING and family is who you build one with. Your parents are not good people, leave them in the dust bin of history and build a rich and meaningful life with people who respect, love, and nurture you.

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Agree D6, I had an emotionally and physically abusive childhood. It's sad to 'lose' relationships with family members when you push back or put boundaries in place but ultimately those relationships were not healthy or adding value to your life. It's possible and wonderful to find family elsewhere.

Lol that will be a fun one to talk about. I got hit by the zero tolerance law when I was 20 (any detectable amount of alcohol when not 21) which still shows up on many screens and I have to explain (although every company I've explained it to I've still gotten the offer).

My charge literally wouldn't be a charge if I was 21 or in another country and has stayed on my pre screen report...so I'd imagine a "simple domestic violence" (lol at that description) should stay on your background screening report too

helpful

P1 won't matter in the background screening phase until the court date (which is what he's worried about), it will still show up and he'll have to explain (unless they already ran his background before the pending court date/he gets lucky with timing and the pending case wasn't yet added).

And I haven't met 1 place that has cared regarding my circumstances (i.e. wouldn't have been a charge if I was 1 year older...as I wasn't above the legal limit for a 21 year old...and happened when I was pretty much a teen). There is only 1 exception in my case, being when the case was pending - like it is for him - and I was not transparent about it/tried to hide my pending case (pre "real job" when I was still in college)...i.e. the only time it has actually impacted me in the past 10+ years is when I wasn't transparent and I wasn't yet 'found guilty' yet, just like his current situation...

Something very similar happened to my cousin (physical altercation with her sister that she was letting live in her house). She was required to disclose it as a government employee. They were very understanding and she kept her job. She had to lawyer up and go to court- and I believe it is on her record. You need to get a lawyer. Every case is different & no one here can tell you what to do.

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This is just overall very sad, I’m sorry OP.
But consider the case is dropped/no criminal charges etc I wouldn’t think it will terminate your employment. With that said I think you should really consult a lawyer. I’m sure everyone here is kind/wants to help you out but none of us are real lawyers that can give you actual legal advice.
I really hope everything get cleared up soon and that you can find some peace after moving out.

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You need to hire a lawyer

like

You would be surprised by the amount of your co-workers and friends that have some sort of criminal record

likehelpful

I don't think so - Just get a good lawyer - Lastly, regardless of the root cause of the fight: WTF were you thinking? You need to control your BIG FEELINGS (take your feelings to the gym & give him some space if you need to) - that's your father ( no matter how horrible he might be)... that was wrong on your end! Nothing special abt throwing punches since even kangaroos can box...

likehelpful

Look I've been on the receiving end of 'big feelings' when I was a child and they were an adult so I fully agree that people should exercise control but the context here is really important - his dad was in his face screaming at him in the middle of the night. That's extremely threatening behaviour and I would also have reacted aggressively to protect myself. Most people don't have experience of that kind of aggression and the first time it happens is awful, I wouldn't judge anyone for the way they react.

like

At the end of the day, this doesn’t sound like a fight, it sounds like you punching your dad in the face

like

Self defense 🤔

Wow. Sorry to hear this. I would think that if every employee was fired or not hired for domestic or family issues/tension/strife (not physical, but just general tension or occasional conflict), companies would be friggin ghost towns. Yours sounds extreme, yes...but if they ask about it, just calmly explain it the way you have here and they SHOULD be human about it and have some empathy/understanding how families can be.

Like someone else said, it's not like you were arrested for physically or sexually assaulting someone, or for selling/doing drugs, or driving drunk and killing a family of five, or something else "bigger" that would "embarrass" an employer. The only thing that *might* give them pause is the act of NOT being able to control your temper under pressure—is this a one-time thing? Do you flip out and take swings whenever you get upset & is that a risk for fellow employees? That kinda thing. But FWIW, you don't SOUND like that kind of person, unless this is the latest in a string of fights and physical altercations going back to high school or something...

likehelpful

No “probably” about it. You need to get a lawyer, right now.

likehelpful

I was arrested and the case was dropped. Still got my job at EY. Depends on the language of your employment contract. If it says have you ever been “arrested” vs “convicted”. A dropped case is not a conviction

likehelpful

While it is pending YES but after it is dismissed then it wont

helpful

If you have passed the background checks to join the new company. You are clear.
I-9 is purely proving you have legal right to work in the USA. Needs to be complete within the first 3 days of joining.

This case could come back to impact you in the future though. Most companies background checks are 7-10 years for employment, education and criminal.

If your background check is cleared already just hop on the EY partner track - they won’t re-run a background check once you are in

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15? Sign me up. Going on 20 here lol

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