My first holiday season sober. This is really hard. Don't like having to turn down invites to events I know I would be tempted to have a drink at. Having to tell people not to gift me nice bottles (something I loved for years) because I'm sober, the whole thing honestly just makes me feel lonely and frustrated. Don't relish having to explain it to family at Christmas either. This sucks!

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I promise it gets easier year by year. Been sober 5 years and the holidays are always tough, but after my first few years I found a great group of sober friends to go out with, and a few coworkers. If your family loves you they'll be happy for you.

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This will sound crazy, but you don’t have to turn them down, provided you’re not threatening your sobriety. Take another sober friend with you, have your own way out, have fun for an hour then leave after an hour.

likesmart

Has any of this actually happened yet, or are you future tripping? I ask in sincerity because I remember early on in sobriety thinking about how difficult holidays and work events would be now that I am sober, and none of the conversations that I had in my head ever came to pass in reality (i.e. having to tell people not to gift bottles, or raised eye brows when I drank iced tea at a work social event). I have a bad habit of thinking the worst of a given situation, living that trauma in my head, and then reality turns out to be much more pleasant than the alternate reality I had fabricated. You just might find that there's more support out there than you realize, and only people who truly care about you and your sobriety will kindly ask for details, if at all. I promise you that nobody is thinking about your sobriety near as much as you want to think that they are.

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OP be kind to yourself. You will hit a fork in the road where you'll only start seeing what you've gained: You'll make no drunken mistakes or hurtful comments this holiday season. You'll make memories this season that you'll remember (correctly). You'll spend 0 days hungover this holiday season. Keep it up. The gains won't stopping coming ♥️

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I got a nice bottle during my first Xmas if not drinking. It felt so weird, and dangerously tempting, but I regifted it and it felt better than any bottle I had ever drank.

I’m also happy to report that every part of this gets easier with time, if you continue to work on the things that keep you sober. It’s also easier when you’re sober with other sober people, which is why I ended up liking AA so much. I have a sober crew who have my back and know me better than anyone else in the world.

helpful

Hi. It gets easier. I promise. Tell one family member who will be supportive and quietly hold you accountable if you feel safe with them.

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