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Reaching out to me for a while. I was in a lot of pain emotionally but later I did call her out on it. She apologized and all was good. A year later she was in a relationship and I was in one too. But she would only want to hang out w me if we were doing couple things. So we never really hung out as friends. She got married this past summer and I was her maid of honor. She only had 2 friends in her bridal party - me and a guy. She didn’t even have any friends to invite to her wedding. It looked like she sabotaged all her friendships and me and her other friend were the only ‘friends’ left in her life. I went above and beyond to help her, before and during her wedding, to make sure everything went well. I spent more than $2k on her wedding. Now during her wedding weekend, my then bf dumped me . So I was dealing w that while performing maid of honor duties. I didn’t let any part of my break up impact my MOH duties.
Well after her wedding, she completely ghosted me. And I realized that she only used our friendship until she found a man and now that she is all settled in with her life she hasn’t even had the courtesy to reach out to me to ask how I’m doing or even to thank me for all the effort I put in for her wedding.
People are really selfish and they really change. This hurt me but I learned such a valuable lesson. I really hope things work out w her guy because if they don’t, I am not going to be there anymore to support her
Wanted to get this off my chest. Thanks for listening haha
Enthusiast
your kindness and loyalty got taken advantage of by someone who didn’t deserve you. Sorry you had to go through that, OP. leave that friendship in the past and spend your time and energy on those that actually value your friendship!
Chief
You are the sort of friend everyone thinks they are but don’t even come close. You will find friends that value your commitment to them, protect and cherish you while helping you draw boundaries so you learn not be taken advantage off. Good for you for being so loving, patient and thoughtful. The world is a better place because of people like you. 🤗🤗
Conversation Starter
You’re a great friend and very patient and understanding. I had a friend like that who became a different person when she got into a relationship/engaged. She isolated me at her wedding, didn’t give me a +1 but everyone else (and I mean everyone) had 1. She also sat me with her husbands childhood friends from his former hometown and not with the friends of hers I knew. It was very odd and I eventually told her how I felt. She apologized but we never rekindled our friendship. Sometimes friends are just meant to be in 1 part of your life. Like a job or romantic partner
Oh no EP1 what a shitty thing to do. So sorry to hear that 😞. My friend also made me sit away from her other friend idk why. I was sitting w random people but at least my ex was there. I agree w you. I have given this girl so many chances in the past. Her apology will def feel extremely fake now and I’m not interested investing my time and energy in this
Conversation Starter
You are incredibly kind, patient, and forgiving. Those are great virtues to have.
Conversation Starter
You’re a good friend. I will only note that it’s generally best to believe people the first time they show you who they really are. Nearly every time I have given a second or third chance, I just ended up rediscovering what was previously known to me by their behavior. Most people don’t change all that much.
Wow you’re an incredible friend and she sucks. Wow. I’m sorry. BFFs ghosting is one of the most painful feelings because it’s not like an official divorce but it’s just as enmeshed and painful, many times. I’m sorry for what you went through.
Thank you everyone. I’m not an incredible friend, I’m just a friend who is doing the bare minimum haha. I really hope my ‘friend’ is able to make some meaningful friendships in her life even if not w me. I think friends are v v v imp
Visual Storyteller
"friends"
I’d want a friend like you. Don’t let this experience dissuade you from being kind and compassionate to other friends.
I’m getting that your friend might be repeating the pattern of her college guy.
If you want to maintain a friendship with her, or even help her out, I’d suggest reaching out to her. Let her know you’re around, and also check if her man is controlling her. A man who tells his wife who she can be friends with is a bad sign.
The other possible explanation for her behavior (few guests at wedding/ghosting) is she is highly introverted and happy to be with just one person. But this could also mean she needs friends to draw her out.
Sounds like you can find better friends then -
White lotus season 3 coming soon
Rising Star
I'd call her out one last time, tell her you are sad she used you, and say, I think our friendship has run its course, best of luck to you. Users will use. She's shown you that you are a friend of convenience.
I was in my mid-twenties when a wise friend said that my definition of friendship was different than another friend's definition. That other friend didn't even fully comprehend that she was being a crap friend. That applies here too! Obviously your friend is mystified and doesn't get it.
As others have said, know that you can and should find kind friends who form truly reciprocal friendships. They are out there. Hugs.
Not worth investing your time and emotions.