{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "My friend gave birth 1.5 months early. She kept it on the dl due to some finds in the ultrasound. It’s her first child and he’s in the NICU (developmental issue). I want to send her something but am at a total loss. For any moms here, any ideas? \n\nDon’t know if she didn’t disclose earlier because the child’s survival odds are rare (his issue is very rare and there’s not a lot of medical literature on it). TIA", "post_id": "610094aa1b5e650022a9921c", "reply_count": 14, "vote_count": 2, "bowl_id": "59e88be7e2808e00149b0443", "bowl_name": "Women In Consulting" }

My friend gave birth 1.5 months early. She kept it on the dl due to some finds in the ultrasound. It’s her first child and he’s in the NICU (developmental issue). I want to send her something but am at a total loss. For any moms here, any ideas? Don’t know if she didn’t disclose earlier because the child’s survival odds are rare (his issue is very rare and there’s not a lot of medical literature on it). TIA

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Assuming she’s spending a lot of time in the NICU, I would offer things with no strings attached. Bring her lunch while she’s at the hospital and don’t make her feel obligated to sit and talk. Go get her groceries and drop them off, water her plants, etc. Things that will make her life easier and not add pressure

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Unfortunately she lives on the other side of the country otherwise I would totally do this (it was my first thoughtg

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Stock her freezer if you or someone you know has a key. Cleaning services. Send care packages (lotions, bath bombs, face masks) My SIL’s child passed away 6 days after she was born, similar low survival odds. Nothing helps, but being there for your friend makes it better. Just having them know you are there for them is helpful too.

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Gift cards to order food, laundry/cleaning help. For the baby, mits, socks, receiving blankets, onzies

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Been a Nicu mom myself, for what it’s worth the best gift I received was a black pair of Monroe hoodie and sweats. They are fitted but have stretchy waist, allowed me to pump and was soft enough for me to hold baby when they would let me. I think I wore them everyday for 3 weeks straight

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If she’d like and if NICU allows - pay for a professional child photographer to come and take family pictures. No matter what happens, capturing memories may be helpful to navigating challenges ahead.

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Definitely have her approve of this first though. My cousin lost one of her kids 2 days after he was born and she didn’t take any photos because she mentally wasn’t in a state to process/handle what was happening and have someone taking her photo.

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Have you heard of insteadofflowers.com? Meals delivered. This would have been my go to when my friend was in a similar situation. I sent flowers instead and she said she was sad when they died.

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Some self care items for your friend. Hospital air is awfully dry. She is probably spending a lot of time waiting there. For my unfortunate hospital encounter, a friend lovingly packed a pretty makeup bag with nice little items like lip balm, face mist, refreshing towelettes, some aromatherapy stuff, cute hair ties, etc. It was very comforting. If at all possible, try to take a trip to visit her even if for a day.

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Yes! Exactly this. I gave birth during COVID and I think having a go-kit of these small travel size face mist, towelettes etc would be so appreciated.

Send her lunch! Coffee! Buy her a nice blanket. Make a snack basket for the nurses in the NICU for her. Offer to do laundry /clean / do something at home for her My first was also 6 weeks early. We were only in the NICU for 2 weeks until he got a bit bigger, but those days and nights are long and really emotionally challenging. Just being there will mean a lot

My SIL is a NICU nurse and NICU mom to 2. She appreciated grub hub and starbucks gift cards to break up the monotony of hospital food. I also bought her a barefoot dreams wrap so she had something comfy to wear in a cold hospital.

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