My friend is a people pleaser and it’s getting really hard to be friends…
I feel like even if I confront her, she won’t be forthright and acknowledge it. Anyone have advice?
Any former people pleasers have friends that stuck around? What helped?

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What kind of people pleasing is she doing that’s making it hard to be friends?

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Yeah in a sexual way, I was really taken aback. Been friends for years and then this all of a sudden

And I don’t know if I feel like resolving it right now…Right now I think I feel like getting more space and essentially a lower expectation of engagement. I could talk to her whenever I feel like I’m up to the convo but I genuinely don’t know if I believe she would be even ready to hear or respond with honesty

I don’t want to abandon her but I just don’t want to lose my energy to figuring it out. I feel bad

Why is is getting hard to be friends with her?

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Answered to attorney 1

Yeah my friend gave me a verbal slap in the face. Basically told me I was too smart, too driven, too pretty, etc to put up with the BS of people taking advantage of my people pleasing

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Did you feel insulted when she said so?

Not even sure how you can stomach a people pleaser for this long

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:/ we don’t live in the same city so that helps

I wonder if this is what my friends think of me lol

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There is no need confront her. If someone is a people pleaser they are well aware of it and do it as a choice.
You can chose to be friends or limit your interaction but from my experience people don’t change unless they want to and not for anyone else.

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Why is this so terrible? I take it she’s not successfully pleasing *you*?

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I’m super open! With like everyone! But we’ve been friends for 3 years and I’m just not sure why, but it feels like I should question our friendship…. Like maybe we don’t really get along specially, she just makes sure everyone likes her by being a bit of a social chameleon.

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