My friend is a people pleaser and it’s getting really hard to be friends…
I feel like even if I confront her, she won’t be forthright and acknowledge it. Anyone have advice?
Any former people pleasers have friends that stuck around? What helped?

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What kind of people pleasing is she doing that’s making it hard to be friends?


Yeah in a sexual way, I was really taken aback. Been friends for years and then this all of a sudden

And I don’t know if I feel like resolving it right now…Right now I think I feel like getting more space and essentially a lower expectation of engagement. I could talk to her whenever I feel like I’m up to the convo but I genuinely don’t know if I believe she would be even ready to hear or respond with honesty

I don’t want to abandon her but I just don’t want to lose my energy to figuring it out. I feel bad

Why is is getting hard to be friends with her?


Answered to attorney 1

Yeah my friend gave me a verbal slap in the face. Basically told me I was too smart, too driven, too pretty, etc to put up with the BS of people taking advantage of my people pleasing


Did you feel insulted when she said so?

Not even sure how you can stomach a people pleaser for this long


:/ we don’t live in the same city so that helps

I wonder if this is what my friends think of me lol


There is no need confront her. If someone is a people pleaser they are well aware of it and do it as a choice.
You can chose to be friends or limit your interaction but from my experience people don’t change unless they want to and not for anyone else.


Why is this so terrible? I take it she’s not successfully pleasing *you*?


I’m super open! With like everyone! But we’ve been friends for 3 years and I’m just not sure why, but it feels like I should question our friendship…. Like maybe we don’t really get along specially, she just makes sure everyone likes her by being a bit of a social chameleon.

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