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Just tell everyone. She will feel jealous but that will happen whether it’s now or a month from now. Best not to hold it in.
Chief
She will probably be hurt if you keep it from her for too long. I think you should tell her by the end of the week, regardless of whether they have made up.
This is what will happen. You will tell her and she will appear to be super happy while a switch of jealousy burns in her brain. She will then magically work it out with her partner and begin pushing for ultimatums that may not appear to be but are. This will pressure the partner and create resentment that will only come out during an argument where the partner will claim to have been pressured into a situation before they were ready
This is insane… OP will tell her friend, who will be happy for her because she is an adult who can separate her personal problems from her friend’s big life moments. If her friend can’t do this, pretty terrible friend
You should tell her. I’ve broken news like this by saying:
I know you might not be in the mood for good news right now because I know you are a bit down, but I wanted to share this big moment in my life with you now rather than later [insert good news].
Do you plan on posting anything on social media or telling other mutual friends? If so tell her at the same time but in a casual way. She will be happy for you even if a bit of her is envious or sad.
This is similar to pregnancy announcements when friends have miscarried or are on a fertility journey. Genuine friends are happy for others but can’t help normal feelings if jealousy and anger that may creep up
Chief
No, I don't plan to post anything on social media or tell any mutual friends until I tell her... I'm just not sure about timing...
You will be fine though