My GF has trouble standing up for herself. She's on client travel and one of her co-workers made her really upset (very uncalled for and should have never happened). She called me crying. After consoling her I told her that she needs to go to her manager and possibly HR (yes it's to that level).
She told me she can't and she's not that person (she thinks she'll get the other person fired). She knows that she should and hates that she doesn't stand up for herself. What can I do to help?

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Tell he that the coworker will treat others the same way if she doesn’t report it. She has a duty to other future victims to report him so he can correct his behavior.

If it’s correctable, the company will work with the person to correct the behavior. If it’s that bad, they will fire the person because they deserve to be fired. Making a report doesn’t mean the person is automatically fired.

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This. Bad behavior will continue until someone stands up and it is corrected. If that person did it to her, they’ve definitely done it to others and will continue to do it. They deserves whatever consequences comes their way. There’s nothing wrong with reporting bad behavior. This isn’t being vindictive. She has no duty to the other person and by reporting it, she can help future victims of this coworker

Even if nothing is done at the end, at least there will be a paper trail and record of the report. If others also reported them, there will be a pattern that HR can, which can hopefully lead to a correction

Tell her to write herself an email with exactly what happened while it is fresh. That way, when everything is calm you can work out the best next step.

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Need more details on the situation.

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I’m sorry to hear that this asshole did or said something unprofessional to your girlfriend. Was it something like sexual harassment? If so, F him/her and that person keeping their job. Make sure your girlfriend has documentation of the unprofessional words or actions, and that she sends them to her manager immediately.

Outside of work, provide the emotional support she needs to cry, talk, or not think about this at all.
It sounds like you are doing a good job.

When is she coming back home? If the actions were very egregious, she should come back as soon as possible.

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Coworker said very nasty things (don't want to give specifics)
Made my GF run out of the restaurant crying and called me
I can't do anything 800 miles away
I calmed her down and got her to go back to her hotel
She informed her manager but doesn't want it to escalate
I told her to take it to HR so there can be remediation
She won't, she says she's not "vindictive"
This is not the first time there has been an issue with this coworker

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I can’t believe her whole team sat there and did nothing. No one stood up for her. I am livid on her behalf and ashamed of all of her team members. Besides reporting these incidents to HR, I think she would do well to look for a new job.

I once worked in HR, and I remember learning that harassers tend to repeat their terrible behavior, sometimes with the same or with different people. It’s quite possible that this coworker is continuing to harass her because she hasn’t reported his behavior.

I’m not in HR anymore and I don’t know exactly what this person said, but based on your statement that they have said these kinds of things at least once before and my assumption that they are harassing in nature, this person should be terminated from the company.

On helping her stand up for herself, some people can do that naturally, while others need time, experience and confidence. If she sees positive consequences from standing up for herself, like hopefully the coworker being disciplined and hopefully getting a job with a team or company that won’t tolerate this kind of behavior, then she will likely build more confidence.

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Sorry to hear that. Maybe it’s harsh but it might be better to comfort her & do nothing more. Not really whether she did anything wrong triggering others to jump into her but It’s her battle & it’s better for her to learn how to fight it. Reporting this case, then what about next case in the future? Keep relying on you or other people to protect her? She might have another client travel in the future & you also be far away from her. If she doesn’t learn how to be tough, she might not make it. Same reason for leaving our parents at 18yrs old to learn the life. Against, I understand your situation & my opinion might be controversial but let’s she deal with it by herself, just showing that you’re always be there for listening & going with her throughout her journey but she needs to go through it by herself

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