My gf is pregnant and wants to keep. I am not ready and think it’s way too early for us.

likefunnyhelpful
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Congrats on the sex

likefunnyuplifting

I had an abortion at OPs age and it is to date the most painful thing I’ve ever had to do- mentally emotionally and physically (I had months-long depression afterwards). I don’t say this to sound pro-life, I say this to repel the Ignorant notion OP (and a few others) seems to have treating an abortion like a mini doctors checkup. This is serious stuff and you signed up for it the minute you had unprotected sex.

OP you keep victimizing yourself here in the comments, when in reality your girlfriend has by far the worst options facing her right now: A painful and possibly traumatic abortion, or an even more difficult pregnancy with an unsupportive partner and disengaged father. I really hope you can stop seeing yourself as the only victim in this equation, and step it up to start supporting your girlfriend.

likesmartupliftinghelpful

Thanks EY10! Totally agree with you. OP doesn’t show any compassion for his gf and refuses to take responsibility for the mess his d*** created. Shame on him!

like
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Her choice. But you need to have an honest conversation about what your responsibilities will be.

likesmartfunny

From an old person let me give you some really sound advice. Either way you really won’t have a choice whether or not she decides to bring this child into the world. It sounds like you are unhappy and by the way I think I would be unhappy if I didn’t want a child and someone else did. But the bottom line is you still have a very long life ahead of you, and you can still be a parent to the child but you don’t necessarily have to rope yourself into a life with a person that you don’t truly love or feel like it’s best for you. I’ve seen way too many people get married because there’s a child involved and they end up in very unhappyRelationships which makes the children unhappy too. Either way you’re going to be a dad so step up. But it doesn’t mean you have to take on the responsibility of a wife or life partner that you’re not ready for. You can have a successful life with someone else and still be a dad to this child. Just think about your long-term happiness and don’t feel pressured into doing something you’re not ready for. And congratulations, you don’t know it yet but being a parent is an awesome thing that I hope you will enjoy.

likeupliftingsmarthelpful

Agree!

uplifting

My gf and I got pregnant at 18. We kept and then got married at 21. Then we had a 2nd at 22. I still became a CPA and she is a successful photographer. I was scared shitless at 18 but it all worked out the way it was supposed to. Just try to surround yourself with supporting people that can build you up.

likeupliftinghelpful

Congrats on the empty home by 40ish.

likefunnysmart

Her choice

likefunny

1. It's her choice to keep or not

2. It's your choice to stay or not

likesmart

This is cause of single motherhood; single motherhood is top cause of crime

like

You need to talk to her. It’s her body so her choice but you are financially responsibly for her decision. Hopefully it was an accident and not a trap.

likefunnyuplifting

Thats okay. If you don't want to keep the baby just send in the check monthly so mom can raise an amazing child.

like

Exactly M1

like

Her choice

likefunny

Another for her choice. If you didn’t want kids, you all should have taken the proper steps to prevent (assuming that this wasn’t a condom break or something).

like

A man in support of abortion? You dont say.

likefunny

EY7, to be fair, it’s not always a surgery and I think that gives more of the impression that it’s “quick and easy”

likesmart

What were you thinking when you had unprotected sex with her? Why is it always women’s fault? It’s your kid, deal with it.

likesmart

You didn’t but your responses imply that you think she’s doing something wrong by deciding to keep it. It’s her body. Would you feel the same if it was your body?

likesmart

This is why I’m glad I’m gay

likefunny

Honestly OP and some of the men here are making me wish I were.

likefunnysmart

I believe men should have a say in this situation. If we both don’t agree then it should go back to the way things were, status quo

likefunny

You do have a say. Keep your pants on.

likefunny

Prior to this we didn’t exactly discuss this topic, however she was not religious. So in the back of my mind i thought If anything did happen, it’ll be okay.

funnylike

Abortions are horrible and can have serious mental health consequences ,it’s not just because you are religious that you might not want one.
Also being prochaine doesn’t equate being abortion absolutist, just pro.... choice

like

No one thinks it’s unfair that OP doesn’t get a say in the child’s future, but has to pay for it regardless?

likefunnysmarthelpful

No, that is in no way what a said. A woman being pregnant is something that happens to her body - if she chooses to get an abortion she can. A man choosing to have sex, means he needs to accept the fact that pregnancy is a possible outcome.

like

I am honestly shocked at reading much of this commentary. I didn’t know that so many people and men felt this way - being trapped by women, her choice but his burden etc. Maybe at 35 I’m old fashioned, accidents happen every day - deal with it with grace and integrity. This is a woman you care about and love, imagine how terrified she is feeling, especially knowing she may not have you to back her up. If the relationship is not right that’s ok, but at the minimum try to be a friend, a father and a decent human. She is someone’s daughter, someone’s friend, someone’s sister and soon someone’s mother - she deserves respect and for you - well we are all scared it’s normal, but you have an opportunity here to show your child what a decent man looks like. Don’t waste it.

likeuplifting

D1, I think many of these answers reflect the OPs both OP and other replies he made. His post talks about him not being ready and his GF taking the decision on her own to keep it. A lot of these are jokes and what not, but a lot is also advice to the point and how he should really communicate with her when he’s not ready. It’s obvious he’s not ready mentally and from a maturity stand-point (and perhaps relationship-wise as well) to be a father, and there are other options including adoption. If he starts off falsely telling her how he’s going to be a great father and there and all that just to be supportive, it may actually further spur her on and lead her to falsely believe he actually wants this and would be there with her. It’s important that she too make a decision on the facts. If afterwards she does decide to keep it and it turns out to be his, of course he should step up and be the best father he can be, be responsible and supportive

Adoption is an option as well

likesmarthelpful

ok def though JFC stood for jesus fckng christ .... lollll

Use a condom next time

likefunny

5 minutes? Look at the marathon guy over here

funny

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