{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "My grandmother passed away recently, and I thought I would be very sad and cry, but I am not and I wonder if there’s something wrong with me. I was very sad and cried when she fell ill three years ago, but when she passed away I don’t think what I felt was sadness, more like emptiness... Is this normal? I’ve never had someone close to me pass away and I feel terrible because I am not crying.", "post_id": "5fdbdc3db50d4b0024dadf90", "reply_count": 23, "vote_count": 9, "bowl_id": "5e6fe1c31f5e51001d267e46", "bowl_name": "Coronavirus Work-life" }

My grandmother passed away recently, and I thought I would be very sad and cry, but I am not and I wonder if there’s something wrong with me. I was very sad and cried when she fell ill three years ago, but when she passed away I don’t think what I felt was sadness, more like emptiness... Is this normal? I’ve never had someone close to me pass away and I feel terrible because I am not crying.

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Completely normal. I didn't cry when my grandma first passed, but months later I remembered something she used to say to me when I was a kid and cried. It's been years since she died, and sometimes I'd think of her suddenly and tear up.

likehelpful

That's how it was for me

It’s a good idea to not judge your grief. It manifests in different ways, at different times, for different people. You feel how you feel and that’s OK.

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People have different ways of dealing with grief.

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I've had three of my four grandparents pass away. I was sad and probably cried a little, but we knew it was coming for all of them which I think is a lot different than losing someone without warning.

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You probably made peace with it 3 years ago

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Yes it’s called anticipatory grief and often happens when a loved one has a long illness.

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Thank you everyone, can’t reply to each but I did read them all and really appreciate it

likeuplifting

Grief is a funny thing in that it kind has a mind of its own. Grief doesn’t come in one size. When the grief is ready to consume you, it will. When the grief is ready to let go, it will.

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When I first noticed the signs of my grandmother’s Alzheimer’s in person I had to leave the table and cry outside to the point where I was almost hyperventilating. Then when she died I cried, just not as much. I think it’s because when I first noticed her Alzheimer’s it was almost like knowing a part of her was gone. And that hit hard.

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Same. Grieving period differs for everyone and every situation. No matter how you grief, allow yourself to be ok with whatever that process might be was one of the best advise ive gotten.

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We all grieve in different ways. I cried tremendously when my cat died, and I didn't tear up when my grandfather did. I think it was because I saw it coming for years and had enough closure. Doesn't make you a good or a bad person.

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There is something to a life well lived. It’s okay not to cry. It’s okay to remember what made her special. It’s okay to realize she’s in a better place. It’s okay to smile at a funeral. Tears don’t measure your ❤️.

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I didn’t cry when my grandma passed away. She was sick for a long time and it was expected. I felt so bad for not going back home to see her in the hospital but grandpa didn’t want me to see her in her vegetative state. I cried when my grandpa passed away a few years later and then lost it at the funeral. I was much closer to him and it was much harder. I was lucky with him though, I got to watch the first chiefs game with him last year, I just wish I could have seen the look on his face when they finally won the Super Bowl. But I’ll always cherish watching the game with him while he was in hospice. We all grieve differently. There is no right way to process grief and don’t you let anyone in this world to tell you different.

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It’s not normal

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According to you....way to shame someone who is grieving

Completely normal. There is nothing that can be done and have to accept it. When they are ill or something happens-it’s the fear of losing them that causes us pain.

Just want to reiterate what everyone has said here! Grief manifests in different ways for different people and just because you didn’t cry doesn’t mean anything about how you felt about your grandma passing.

Grief is just different for everybody.

Yes, this happened for me as well. Grief comes when you’re ready to process the emotion. Sometimes our brain goes into “a death happened. What needs to be done? Estate stuff? Funeral arrangements?” And you just keep busy. There will be a quiet moment where you will come to terms with things and when that moment comes, feel it all the way and don’t try to stifle it. Emotions are meant to be felt, good or bad. The only way out, is through. So sorry for your loss.

I've lost a grandmother and uncle to cancer. Both times they were stage four and I knew it was inevitable. The initial news hit me harder than the actual death. But yeah, honestly, with prolonged illness it feels like people die twice. Don't be so hard on what you should feel. Life is tough and we all respond to that toughness in the best way we know how.

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