My husband and I are about to do long distance because of our respective job situations. We have decided that we won't do it for more than 1 year. But it's making me very sad and anxious. I'm going to miss having him around at home and I'm nervous that the distance might cause him to lose interest in me. We both love each other and are very committed but I can't help think these things. Any advice on how to handle this? Thanks! :(

Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

I’m sorry you guys have to put distance between you guys for your jobs. It’s the absolute worst!

Communication is essential at the VERY beginning. Before anyone moves, you have to set the expectation. Please don’t assume one or the other knows what to do without it being explicitly expressed. Long distance brings up behavior/tendencies that couples don’t expect (less text messages/check ins) and it’s not because something is going on, but because it’s just how things settle. A new normal will form but make sure you form it with the communication you both need from each other.

like

Thank you, that's very useful to hear :)

Have you told him how you're feeling about it? Are you still 100% onboard with the plan?

like

Yeah it's a decision we made together. And I'm 100% on board with it. But I think it's hitting me now that I won't see him everyday. Even though it's the most practical option for us right now.

You’re brave, I’d never be able to do it I guess 🥲 is there a way you two can travel to see each other at least 1x or 2x a month?

Once or twice a month isn't going to be possible. Will probably see each other for 1 month every 3 months...

Being there for 1.5 years already. It’s tough but you find new ways to love and keep the love going. Hearing his voice first and last thing in the day is wonderful. We also plan our days when we are toguether to be 100% there- which allowed us to create beautiful memories in many litttle quaint towns along the I94.
Also find your perfect cadence to see each other. E.g: I wish we could afford every 2 weeks, and I’ll really feel down if I have not seen him in 2 months.

Also been long distance for 1.5 years with my husband and can’t see him for multiple months at a time. We made a very clear plan for when we speak (same time weekdays, some variations on weekends) and always have the next trip planned. And then we are super open about how we feel about it.
And there is an end of the tunnel - I am moving to be with my husband in the next few months!

More Posts

Any thoughts on working at Oracle?

like

My husband has about 6 years of healthcare management experience, specifically in implementing technologies (especially in patient access, clinical operations, and revenue cycle). He has a track record of growth at his current organization, and is looking to transition into healthcare consulting. Any advice, help, or referrals are appreciated!

like

I'm an SDR and have found it challenging to find alignment with my AE's. We don't really strategize on accounts - something I've been working hard to improve. I'm curious to know what has helped for other SDR's and AE's. I'm always also open to getting feedback even when it's uncomfortable. I just need the support.

like

Anyone from ZS interested in submitting a referral?

like

Deloitte Partners - I’m being recruited by Deloitte as a direct admit but kinda hesitant b/c my perception is the mothership is too big that I’d be “just another number”. Is my perception wrong?

like

Got a freelance gig starting next week, however they have asked 2x this week if I could join meetings/calls prior to my start date. I feel like this is a red flag

like

Media folks with families who moved to Chicago/burbs or to any other city from NYC/Burbs, how is the living,job market,growth,overall difference vs. NY? I’m planning to relocate. Appreciate responses🙏

So, this is a little awkward, but I recently moved to SD for a fresh start, and honestly, I love this city. My problem is I have been more of a homebody since I moved here and I'm a little intimidated to go out and meet people because I don't feel like I fit in here. I am overweight and this city is full of active, and attractive people. I guess I am wondering what my experience would be if I got out more? I feel like people look at me when I'm in public because I stand out due to my size.

like

Are there any best practices on companies with multiple tech products serving different needs bring together product teams to create connected experiences? Think Amazon Prime or Google One

Are there any good material available on product portfolio management?

like

What service did you use to create your LLC? I'm looking at LegalZoom, Stripe Atlas, Gusto, etc. I currently freelance within agencies in NYC but I want an LLC to start a consulting biz on the side.

likesmart

Where’s our new career headed after 10/15?

like

Since graduating with my bachelors in pre-medical professions I have been working as a dermatology CMA to gain experiential hours for PA school. I am exploring other career opportunities before I go into a program but with only having 3 years MA experience I’m having a hard time applying my skill set to different roles. Any suggestions/advise/Opportunities?

like

I’m a bariatric coordinator and an RN. I graduate with my MSN in executive leadership in December. I’ve always wanted to go into leadership. My CNO turned my current job into a “leadership” position. I feel like all of this was done in attempts to get me to “be quiet”. I feel so overlooked, and under appreciated. I’ve been a nurse for 8 years, and worked 7.5 years in high risk ICU. Where I was a charge nurse and a nursing house supervisor as well. Does anyone have any advice? I feel so deflated

like

Anyone else spending the holidays alone in the city? What are your plans?

like

I’m not good at goodbyes

like

What would be your advice if someone asked: “I’m debating right now on buying a car or moving to the city close to a metro station so that I maybe won’t need to buy a car for awhile. I plan to buy a car at some point but I figured rent is so expensive that if I get a place close to a metro I won’t need to worry about it. But what I was going to ask you is do you think there’s a “good time” to sign a lease ? I work in Arlington but I’d like to be in DC. I’m looking for a 1br 1bath. “

like

Have a question, Is TPM a junior role? I am currently having 12 yrs of exp as. SAP technical lead/manager, and I am looking for roles at FAANG. Can someone advice me what will be the best suited role?

like

KPMG India Hi fishes, What is the yearly hike at kpmg India for an analystKPMG IndiaKPMG?

like

I am working for a start-up.
YOE: 1.4
Tech Stack: Java, MySQL, Elastic Search, a bit of python and bash script.
CCTC: 4 lpa

I am planning to switch.
How much I can expect?

I am expecting 100% hike. Do I get it?

Suggest considering me as an average developer. Not so talented.

like

Hi Fishes, i have an experience of approx 3 years in the field of fin and pension and Currently without a job. Can anyone provide any reference for me in their companies would greatly appreciate it. (Remote working would be a plus)

like

Additional Posts in Women In Consulting

Are there any women who have chosen not to marry or date? How long have you been single and are you happy?

like

Just started as staff consultant after graduating. need to come up w/ plan to start saving/paying off loans. Any financial planning resources that are helpful? Or anything you wish u knew abt $ at 22?

My best friend just graduated from Georgetown with her masters. She is an orphan and has no family. I want to a nice gift, the kind your parents would give. Does anyone have any reccomendations? Budget is $200 or less.

likeuplifting

Ladies - what is your favorite online clothes brand (I.e. asos)? Not work clothes, but like for brunch, dates, etc. My clothes are all old and outdated. (F25 if this helps!)

like

Is anyone’s SO getting them on their nerves? I am engaged, and i remember before COVID19 I was so sure about marrying this guy.. we argue almost every day and now i think we’re not compatible.

like

Looking to switch companies as I don’t see much growth in where I am at. What are the best consulting firms in your opinion and why?

Ladies, does anyone have a recommendation for a pillow that provides great neck support at night? Thanks!

like

Friendly late 20s woman fish here who hasn’t been feeling good enough to be in consulting or run a business. I don’t know what’s going on but even with all of my accomplishments I feel worthless. I’m in therapy so I’m sure there’s a rainbow somewhere but I’m wondering if anyone else has felt like this and what you’ve done to get past it? I’ve thought of reading more books on my craft and doing affirmations but I’m like internally smh at everything.

like

How do you protect yourself emotionally on dating apps (e.g. not getting too attached to matches that might ghost you a few weeks later)?

like

Can I walk in Orangetheory class or do I have to run? Want to try but out of shape and intimidated.

like

I have an internship ending next week and wanted to send two bosses thank you gifts but I don’t know of what to get.
For reference one is male & his 30s with a young family and one is an adult female but her children are grown so something for the family is not as relevant. Ideas??

like

I have oily hair that can smell sub optimal when I dont washnit every day...Any recommendations to help with this?

like

Anyone use hourglass brushes? Any ideas on how to clean them properly?

Ladies, what's the best retinol cream in your opinion?

like

Has anyone broached the topic of finances/ estate planning with their parents? I’m sole heir as my parents only child and I know that my dad will probably develop Alzheimer’s in the next 7-10 years (he already has pre-dementia symptoms now but is still working). While I’m aware of some of my families investments the full details of his finances are still a bit murky to me ( I think he feels that I don’t deserve to know since I’m a girl). How do I prepare for the inevitable?

like

A colleague I worked with who was technically unskilled and not client facing copied my resume bullets word for word. I don’t think he even understands what he has copied, because he has listed (copied) project stakeholders our team interacted with before he joined the engagement. I’m no longer in the engagement, but while I was there, he would leech off of my work and try to somehow make it his own.

like

Has anyone been through child abuse? And do you have a good therapist to recommend?

like

Anyone has experience getting 100% off thyroid medication after being diagnosed with hypothyroidism? What treatment did you follow and how long did it take?

funny

Have you ever heard of any guy who stopped being abusive and actually changed? I personally haven’t seen nor heard of anyone in real life

like

My husband went and took a work call outside, sat on a public bench (we live in a downtown area), then came back to the apartment and proceeded to sit on the bed with the same clothes.

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Send download link to your phone

OR

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Messaging rates may apply

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal