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Unprofessional Topics 🙃

My husband and I recently bought a house for the third time (we bought the first one in 2016, sold it and bought another one in 2018, sold it and bought another one in Oct). The most recent house we bought is 1.36 million. My annual salary is 113K and my husband’s salary is 320K. He put all the down payment with his savings plus his recent income of selling RSU. I am responsible for all other expenses, including utility, food and car loans. He told his parents that HE used HIS money to buy the

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Just going to throw this out there. You all need to stop buying new houses and get some rental property.

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Gosh, reading my mind

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Just had a conversation with my husband and he apologized for everything I mentioned in above and promised me to think before talking, except for the size of the lake because it’s a black and white fact which everyone should respect

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Curious - who pays the mortgage? Or is there. O mortgage? Also - any chance this is a south Asian family/parent situation? Encountered something similar with a friends of mine that was cultural vs. ego at first (ended up being both). Good luck, talk it out. Difficult conversation well worth having

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house and HE wants to upgrade the house with HIS money. Whenever his parents call him and ask him what I am doing, he’ll always say I am not working (but I am working on a financial model while he says I am doing nothing). He always corrected me on things that do not matter at all (e.g., size of a random lake) in the family group chat. I don’t think I am being respected.

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He clearly doesn't value you - you have value, find somebody who appreciates it.

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classic narcissistic stuff here

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Weird flex

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Doesn’t sound healthy. OP i’m glad you talked it out with him and got him to understand you, but do us a favor and keep your eyes and ears open. A friend of mine had a similar situation, and the husband one day let it slip during a heated argument, he’s arranged finances in a way that she gets nothing in the event of a divorce. Not saying that’s what’s happening, but don’t ignore your gut instincts.

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Agreed. Similar thing happened to my aunt. Her husband arranged everything behind her back and when they got divorced she got nothing

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Red flag, divorce the husband, give me the house

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Thank you all for your comments. I love my husband and admit that he is the person that does the heavy lifting. Down payment and mortgage are on him. I am responsible for the remaining, such as credit cards, utility, food, shopping, car loans, insurance, and $2,000 rent for in-laws. I just want him and in-laws to acknowledge that I am also making contribution to our family, it’s not entirely on him. I am on the title. This is far away from considering a divorce.

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Happy that you guys were able to work it out ! Sending love and positive vibes your way

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Whose name is on the title?

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I mean, is he wrong? I wouldn't say what he said when talking to my MIL about my family finances. But he did put down the full down payment. And he clearly knows the actual size of that lake and you sound like you don't care. It's easy to get carried away with things that don't matter and not think before you talk when you get super comfortable with someone like your spouse. So I would cut him a bit of slack. Glad you guys were able to talk it out and for him to know how you feel. But I wouldn't read into it as much as some people are encouraging you to on here (talk of divorce and the like).

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Just curious where you live? Because if it’s a Community Property state then in the eyes of the law you both paid for the house equally as it was purchased with community property.

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It’s we, not me.

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He better have a prenup, poor guy

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