My husband doesn’t get along with my best friend, doesn’t really like family things like I do, doesn’t like to travel, doesn’t have a job, and drinks a lot(moved to me a lil) Sounds like I should get a divorce huh? We JUST got married though😳

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Why did you get married? Were these things not a problem before?

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Maybe just find a side piece? You’re already married, so you might as well stay married. Divorce is expensive.

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Well
First three you knew going into the marriage
Fourth likely just happened
Fifth sounds like a coping mechanism or you knew about it before

To me, you either got married for the giggles or you want to leave when times are tough and are magnifying everything that is wrong with him. I do t feel comfortable giving you that pass based on what you’ve said. This all changes if he is abusing you, but I haven’t gotten an indication of that.

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Above all else it’s important that he respects who you are and what you need to stay happy and healthy.
So if he’s fine doing holidays separately so you can spend time with your friends and family, that could work.
If he’s in a funk between jobs and is actively searching, that could work.
If he acknowledges that he drinks a lot, and he wants to slow down or stop, that could work.
If he’s expecting you to provide, to abandon your friends and family, to me, that would not work. I’m in a similar conversation and possibly looking at a break up, so I get this.
It all comes down to his willingness to listen and adapt, and shows action towards that and not just empty promises. I feel for you, in a very similar situation myself.

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Thank you! I’m teetering the line of looking for an escort for sex. He’s out of shape and not into the gym like I am BUT he loves better than anyone has ever loved me and I think h that’s worth it.

Just sex because I did that before I met him & it worked fine

You know you’re supposed to date someone and get to know them BEFORE getting married? Not the other way around…

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Why are you married if these were already red flags?

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When did you find all these out? Or are these new “dealbreakers” for you? Is this a new thing?

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Sounds like you already know what you should do. Things usually get worse over time. Im ashamed to admit that I know how easy it is to ignore red flags and still proceed with a marriage. I’d suggest marriage counseling if possible and/or a very serious conversation of how his behavior is affecting you. He needs to be just as committed to making this marriage work as you are. If he doesnt care at that point to make changes then I would suggest collaboratively rethinking the future of your relationship or lack-thereof

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Did he get laid off recently? Maybe he is in a funk. Was he always like this or did something happen to change?

😳

Idk if this is rude or culturally insensitive (please call me out if so) — but is this an arranged marriage? It astounds me that anyone would enter such an incompatible partnership for a lifetime

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