My husband is a quiet guy who warms up when he gets to know someone. I knew this from the moment I met him and it never posed a challenge until recently with work/client functions...

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I’m like your husband. Strong dislike for social settings where I don’t know anyone, and also rarely want to engage with folks. Luckily my spouse is the opposite and more social. I’d like to think we balance each other out and there isn’t this pressure where I have to be “on” or super outgoing.
For me, I try to stick to the area nearest the bar because it’s the easiest place to strike up random/mindless banter. Or find one person to talk to throughout the night.

I guess the question to you is what are you trying to get out of your husband being more social? Proving to others how great he is? Showing off some skill he has? It feels like you’re trying to put him on a stage, and I would personally be super uncomfortable if my spouse forced me into that. If he’s as fascinating as you say, then it’s a loss to others not you or him.

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Yes, he sounds... fine.

I think you should respond to those comments with exactly how you put it to us. No need for him to have to change. And you should be just as yourself with him by your side.

Plus how often is he attending work/client functions? I think this is more pick your battles situation.

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Seems like I hold the unpopular opinion here but I think this is problematic. I know everyone wants to support being yourself but the reality is that these functions are not only important for OP’s working relationships but also something she cares about. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask him to be engaged for an hour or two on an important night.

OP - have you tried actively involving him in conversations with others? Maybe he just needs an opening, some people feel uncomfortable starting a new conversation topic. I would also try to introduce him to people he may have more in common with or that match his personality type. Don’t force him to talk to someone that will overwhelm him.

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I tried talking to him once about it but he got offended when I mentioned it would be helpful if he practiced stepping outside his comfort zone. I cant emphasize enough that this isn't a make-or-break in our relationship, it's just a challenge we are facing that I'm not sure how, if it is at all possible, to approach. Is it one of those "it is what it is" situations or have other people experienced this and can recommend a way of handling it? My husband is a truly fascinating man and I feel like he has so much to share with people, but he reads as standoffish and people have commented on his quietness.

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