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Not over reacting at all. This is your birth, not his. That’s great his work schedule is free, but c-sections are a major surgery and it’s a lot easier to recover from a vaginal birth. I would have a serious conversation with him ASAP, because it’s concerning that he’s making this all about him.
I agree! I had a great VBAC 2 years ago with my daughter and only 6 hours of labor! Your body knows what to do! If you don’t have already, get a doula for support as she can help you and your husband’s worries!
My answer is that no, you are not overreacting. I will say that if your doctor doesn’t feel it’s better to wait, then take the c-section date. But that’s still up to you and your doctor. To me, the priority is your and your baby’s health, your doctors preference based on your medical history/pregnancy/etc. and wayyyyy down the list is your husband’s free time. 🙄
I’m with D1. When I gave my answer, I was going off of my experience with my OB who likes to go as natural as possible. I wouldn’t question her just because I know how she works. But my main point was that assuming your OB’s priority on doing a c-section vs. natural is based on medical necessity, their preference for doing a c-section comes before your husband’s free time.
Let him be upset. It’s your body and your decision.
I came here to say what the both of you said...
My husband knows he can make all suggestions he wants but at the end of the day, I will be doing me.
There are so many levels of angry I feel right now. I’ve had to come back to this post at least 5 times and start over because the previous responses were riddled with explicit language. The timing and manner of birth are a discussion between you and your physician considering YOUR health and the health of the BABY not his freaking work calendar. I’m just going to leave it at that.
No - literally reading about birthing process right now :) my take away is that birthing choices boil down to what you, mom, are most comfortable with for you and baby. Yes, your husband should have a say - but you're the one pushing that baby out. Not him. Also... I can understand him having an opinion on VBAC vs c section based on risks involved. But I'd go off the rails if his preference had anything to do with his work schedule.
And to be clear /add to what EY says above. I personally know nothing about VBAC vs c section or risks involved. I've not been in the situation and haven't done any research other than that learned in passing while consuming all the birth literature. I was saying I could under him having an opinion based on whatever the perceived risks are to mother/baby either way. Any opinions based on anything other than that, irrelevant. Just want to be clear that I'm not advocating for one or the other :)
This sounds like something my husband would do. He’s throws everything plus the kitchen sink into his arguments, so he’d include scheduling into his reasoning even if he was actually only concerned about the risks to me and the baby.
It’s major surgery as you know from previous experience so this decision really should be made between you and your doctor. It’d be nice to have your husband on board though. Could you talk to him more about his concerns? Was your previous c-section an emergency? If so, could he still be struggling with the second hand trauma from that? I know my husband had a hard time watching me give birth and not being able to help me at all, so I think if I had to get rushed into surgery he’d advocate for a scheduled c-section the next time
If it truly is about scheduling then your husband is an ass and needs to get his priorities checked. Pushing someone he loves undergo major surgery so as not to inconvenience him is pretty fucked up.
I’ve had 3 c-sections. It’s major surgery. You are not overreacting. Your body will tell you which route to take, not your husband.
It’s all about you and the baby. Period. You had a c-section before so you know how hard recovery is. If you can avoid it safely, and that’s what you want to do, then do it. It’s your hubby’s job as the one who didn’t carry a baby for 9 months, who isn’t going through delivery, and who isn’t going to be a milk factory after delivery, to support whatever you want to do.
Yay for vbac! You go Mama! It’s a huge commitment for you to go this route. I had a csection my first, then 2 vbacs. I fought the drs up to the end on both vbacs with my husband’s full support. They always want to err toward another csection.
One question though, did you say version like baby is breech and you need a version?
Also, AD1, are you me because that’s what I was going to type originally!
Don't let anyone push you into surgery. CS come with major risks, especially if you have more than one. And the risks increase with every surgery. For most women, a VBAC is safer and absolutely possible. Your husband should be supportive; this is your choice
Definitely not overreacting. I get that it is hard to deal with scheduling but a c section is MAJOR surgery. I had two c sections (on emergency and one was supposed to be a vbac but little one had health issues). I am sure he is stressed but this is literally saying you need to have major surgery which requires significant recovery so that the birth of our child is more convenient. Children are inconvenient but I wouldn’t give in on this one. Plus most places are willing to be flexible when it’s the birth of a child.
Always follow your instincts. Number 1 Mom rule.
No - do what you are comfortable with. This is your moment with your baby. Either way he is going to be there and if it interrupts his schedule so be it. This is about you and your baby. Tell him suck it up butter cup baby is coming when baby wants to.
He can decide when he’s the one who is pregnant and about to give birth. Until then, you get to choose. Good luck!
I’d be pissed too. C-sections are not about convenience but need. I would have loved to have my babies when I wanted but they decided 6 weeks and 4 weeks early were a better plan. You do you mama!
You are absolutely not overreacting. A c-section is a major surgery on YOUR body. He can be mad, but at the end of the day you are the one who gets to decide what you want for your own body. Adjusting his work schedule is a mere inconvenience. I highly doubt you would ask him to have his body cut open voluntarily as a convenience to fit your schedule. It pisses me off for you just writing that. Stay strong, mama. Good luck!
You know your husband better, maybe he is terrified of the risk and scared to lose you. I think it’s your choice, of course, but you don’t want to bring a new child in a family fighting over vbac. So I would’ve talked to him trying to be compassionate.
You are not over reacting! While he should have listened to you and respect your decision, I can feel his intention that he wants to be there while giving birth. But, your point to wait more makes more sense.
New mom here, waited for so long, attempted to do the pushing but I didnt make it. so I had the C Section.
Absolutely not overreacting!!! I hope everything goes well regardless of your choice.
Ignoring your husband’s reasoning altogether because it’s just selfish...
I’ve never heard of OBs scheduling a C-section when it wasn’t medically necessary. I’m assuming you have a scheduled CS because you’ve had a previous CS? In that regard, the chances of having a successful vbac after previous CS are slim, and you’re better off scheduling it than waiting for emergency CS. Under emergency situations, you’re putting yourself and your baby at much higher risk. Otherwise, if this is your first pregnancy, and there is no medical reason for the CS, I would never opt for a CS before attempting a successful vbac.
Just to be clear, OBs often prefer c-section as default after an initial c-section because it’s easier for the doctor. The risk of rupture is usually the reason for defaulting to c-section, but if there is enough time between babies (18mo I think?) then it’s actually quite rare.
That said, situations are all different and need to be weighed and decided individually and not on an anonymous forum.
And, I think you meant to say vaginally not vbac (=vaginal birth after c-section)