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I get it but I don’t think your approach is going to be received well by your spouse. “He feels he deserves it…making 65k.” It’s okay that he feels this way. He works hard and wants his dream truck, there’s nothing wrong with that. I don’t know your financial situation, but I always recommend couples sit down and work out their finances to see if a big purchase can fit in their current budget. Normally, the couples will see they can’t/shouldn’t afford it with numbers in front of them, that makes it a lot easier to process not making the purchase. I’d go about it that way instead of possibly belittling your spouse because he only makes X amount. He may start to resent you. Through budgeting, if he comes to the conclusion on his own that he should hold off on it, that may incentivize him to earn more income. And he’ll feel that you support him and believe in him. It’s a win win for both. Just my 2 cents after years of a toxic marriage that was salvaged.
Thank you for the great advice. I understand that it may have sounded demeaning, that wasn't my intention.. he used those exact words when he agreed that it wasn't logical. I will definitely keep what you said in mind.
Really everyone has different priorities. My husband and I have expensive vehicles, but a rather modest house because we like vehicles. My mortgage is almost $500 less than yours, so I think your mortgage payment sounds crazy. There are a lot of other things I choose not to get because I’d rather spend my money on my car. We don’t eat out, I don’t wear makeup, I don’t get my nails done, and I purchase clothes frugally. I can’t make the determination that your husband is being irresponsible without knowing other aspects of your lives.
In chicago my 4br house mtg is 1800 and I drive a 2019 Jeep
That seems like a really expensive car for your household income.
I did recently treat myself to a very expensive SUV — our household income is over $300k. But my last car was also 14 years old and I hadn’t had a car payment in 10 years.
It is ridiculous, sorry it feels like you have a child in the house. If after tax his salary is less than this car's cost- it is unreasonable decision. Do not forget also about insurance, more expensive car, higher insurance. He is not a teen who works only for his toys...
I don’t see why anyone wanting something because they work hard for it, a child. This is a normal disagreement that they can easily work through by sitting down and taking a look at their budget. If he went out and bought the truck anyway after they ran through the budget and discovered they couldn’t afford it, then that would be irresponsible for sure.
Call Dave Ramsey on your husband. Dave will set him straight 🤣.
Rising Star
I’d just make a household budget which includes intended savings and show him that it doesn’t fit in or that he has to sacrifice one of his personal expenses to make the math work (i.e if you budget a certain amount of discretionary spending for him and he wants to use all of it on a car note, then fine).
Numbers don’t lie and will keep the conversation grounded in the fact versus emotions.
Yikes, very bad decision on his end. Speaking from my own experience I bought my $53k dream car last year at a $85k base salary when interest rates were nothing and dealerships were paying premium for trade-ins from the chip shortage (which was my rationale for it). I've since moved jobs and my current base salary is $110k HCOL and I still have to budget all of my finances around being able to afford my $810/mo car payment plus my insurance and apartment rent, not to mention with gas prices as they are right now I'm regularly paying $100 every 1 to 1.5 weeks to fill my tank. My sport sedan averages 20 mpg, I can't imagine the truck your husband wants is going to get anything higher than that. The gas cost of buying that truck is going to be massive, and interest rates right now aren't desirable especially going into a recession. As much as I love my car if I could go back I definitely would have gotten something cheaper with better mpg because of how high gas prices are now.
Rising Star
Holy shit that’s a high car payment. I’m so sorry! That totally sucks!
I agree with you that it would a terrible financial decision to buy that truck. My first thought was how much they’d be spending on gas!
Any decent new truck is $50k plus, sadly. My husband makes about $65k and doesn’t buy used vehicles, but does keep his trucks for 10 years or more. Haven’t had a payment in 5 years so he’s saved some to keep the payment reasonable this time. Getting a new truck this fall, but we planned carefully for it.
This should be prospective may think of considering the whole house bills and splitting them down the middle place that in a joint account account w cushion and if he thinks he can qualify and pay for the truck himself 🤷🏽♀️ with his left over money. So be it and you enjoy something that interests you.
But also if he up for the challenge having a conversation for your future goals I would only be comfortable with you buying that expensive truck if you made 85 seems decently easy in a sales role 🤷🏽♀️ in the events you had future expenses like planning to have kids in a year
So we have a significantly higher household income and my husband got a truck (approx $35k) 3 years ago. He likes it, but even with us paying cash for it (and having more $$ in general), he has had a lot of second thoughts about it. The gas mileage is terrible which is $$ right now.
I think it is about sitting down and looking at what that does to your “free cash flow”. Any other big potential costs coming up that could change this in the next 5-7 years while you pay this off? It feels like you’re probably locking yourself into another $1k a month with all the costs which feels like a large commitment.
I’ve had a very similar situation. He got what he wanted. Loved it for 2 yrs and then started to want something else. The payment was soul crushing so we hustled to pay it off faster but even once paid off it just wasn’t what he wanted anymore. We made an agreement when we bought it that the only way I could get on board was if he agreed he wouldn’t get a new auto for 10 yrs. Sold it in 2020 (after 6 yrs) when the market was hot. He drives a beater now dreaming of his next auto but I’m holding out until the 10 yr mark and saving to prepare for it so we don’t have a insane payment ever again!
Sales job can get cut anyway during this economy.
Ask him to afford the truck what is he willing to sacrifice? Less vacations? Less eating out? Your money should reflect your priorities.
Oh goodness. I know when my husband gets truck fever it never stops. Till he ends up with the truck. Best of luck to you.
I think it depends on your overall financial situation and your priorities. What is the COL in your area? Do you have any other debts besides mortgage? Do you have another car payment? Do you have children, pets, other family obligations? You would have to look at your overall budget. My household income is a little over 300k in a HCOL area. Mortgage is 4.5k. We just ordered a Tesla. We already have a car payment of 600. We go on expensive trips, pay for services like house cleaners, yard service, and eat out pretty often. If you look at it in total, you might think we are spending way too much and admittedly, in the past I would call myself stupid lol. However, we have no children; we choose to prioritize living comfortably and enjoying life as much as possible. We are not spending above our means and have no other debts besides our house and car.
So, again, what are your priorities? What are your other obligations? A 50k car would result in approx 700-800 payment at 72mo. IF you have no other debts, adding that to your mortgage of 1,800 brings your DTI to 25%, which is not so bad IMHO. If you have student debt, other car payments, credit card debt, and children on the other hand—that’s a different story.
My husband is the same way. But I’m the only income earner so it was easier to comprise for a use truck (before the huge demand for used vehicles).
Honestly, I think a financial discussion of what both of your goals are and him being involved in budgeting may help with him realizing how crazy it is. And saving cash for it at the amount the loan payments would be or more if you guys have wiggle room.
Is he financing this purchase or does he have a huge chunk of cash? If he needs to finance it, I can’t imagine that works into the budget with rent, retirement, etc - so maybe just work that math together.
If he’s been saving for 8 years for his dream car and can have a reasonable payment bc of a huge down payment I don’t think that’s unfair if it’s always been clear that’s what the savings is for. My hubby is a car guy (I am not) so he will always be more willing to splurge on a car than I am, but he saves enough so that his car payment is reasonable to our overall budget.
Try to acknowledge his wants then, start a negotiation with him to maybe defer it since recession is knocking. Try to present 2 scenarios of monthly budget/expenses with and without the new truck and emergency fund for recession. It would help him understand that you considered his wants but not this time.
My question is, I’m assuming a sales position is somewhat commission based so I’m worried his income isn’t constant. Everyone values things differently but when I was making a consistent 55k plus my new car was around half of that price. Your his partner in life he needs to be considerate and maybe wait a year or so