{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "My husband wants to name our son after his brother who he loves a lot .i am so pissed that he yelled at me when I am 6 months pregnant and unable to do anything , will be the one going through labor just to have my son my BILs name as first name , my husbands name as middle name and last name of his family. FYI- me and BIL live in different countries and I have spoken to him handful of times over phone and that’s it . He doesn’t want to discuss any other names anymore.", "post_id": "60581c6b9e4b4900248d453c", "reply_count": 9, "vote_count": 3, "bowl_id": "5a0c9a1f61b01a001937c406", "bowl_name": "Working Moms" }

My husband wants to name our son after his brother who he loves a lot .i am so pissed that he yelled at me when I am 6 months pregnant and unable to do anything , will be the one going through labor just to have my son my BILs name as first name , my husbands name as middle name and last name of his family. FYI- me and BIL live in different countries and I have spoken to him handful of times over phone and that’s it . He doesn’t want to discuss any other names anymore.

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Tell him no

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Tell him no and explain to him in a calm way that you have equal rights in choosing a name for your son. Tell him that both you and him should work together to choose a name that both of you like. If you are comfortable, budge a little and say that you are comfortable having his brother’s name as middle name and you will get to choose his first name in exchange for this.

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He can't just unilaterally name the baby without your consent. You have to both agree; if not the court will choose the name. Your child's name might indeed be "a hill worth dying on" because you don't want to be reminded of this battle everytime you say your child's name.

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That is hard. You can tell people you haven’t agreed on a name and make sure he hears it. Try to speak with him when he’s more relaxed. Your son is just as much yours as it is his. I hyphenated my kids name (I didn’t change my name). Or you can use your maiden name as a second middle name (I liked this option, but we went with hyphen). Of course other names can go in there!!

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Is he typically a “my way or the highway” kind of guy? Has he put his foot down about other things before? If this behavior seems unusual, that’s something to consider. I’m with the person who said “tell him no.” Unless you’re afraid of him. Let things cool down a bit, and remind him that you’re partners and need to agree on a name. Among other things that parenting will bring. You guys need to be on each other’s side, or as someone else referenced, this will be the first of many hills to die on when it comes to raising a child.

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Pick your battles. Definitely naming a child is crucial bit if you genuinely hate the name then go fight it but if you can live with it then move on. Trust me life will bring to you many storms in a relationship over the course of time. Be smart about it. Again, my advice is not to subdue yourself to his will but pick your battles wisely. Hoping for a peaceful pregnancy for you as mine wasn't. My husband and me are not as compatible and our times with each other were rough. I wouldn't wish that for anyone. Hugs

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Don’t subdue yourself to his will but....subdue yourself to his will. 🤔 Why does she need to submit to him because he’s louder/more decisive/less agreeable? Are you still with your husband? “Our times with each other were rough” reads like you’re not.

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Is this a cultural tradition in his family? My husband is from Greece and if we had a boy, tradition dictates that the boy is named after my FIL. Absolutely no budging. He warned me early in our relationship so I had lots of time to wrap my head around it...we ended up having girls (whew 😅) So if it’s a cultural tradition I would be open minded but otherwise BIL’s name would be the middle name and we would negotiate first name.

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Both of my sons were named by my husband. The oldest’s middle name is after my Dad, and brother. I insisted on middle name choice. If your son’s middle name is after your husband, then you should definitely agree on first name choice.

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