{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "My in-laws think any woman or black person in a leadership position is there because of diversity and that companies shouldn’t try to put any effort into promoting diversity in their recruitment because it harms minorities as people will always think those minorities are in a position of power only because they were hired because of gender/race quotas. \n\nThey also think it’s perfectly justified in prioritizing hiring a woman over a man (all else being equal) because of potential for ‘me too’. 😣", "post_id": "61075d647ca1760020e92f7c", "reply_count": 22, "vote_count": 2, "bowl_id": "59e88be7e2808e00149b0443", "bowl_name": "Women In Consulting" }

My in-laws think any woman or black person in a leadership position is there because of diversity and that companies shouldn’t try to put any effort into promoting diversity in their recruitment because it harms minorities as people will always think those minorities are in a position of power only because they were hired because of gender/race quotas. They also think it’s perfectly justified in prioritizing hiring a woman over a man (all else being equal) because of potential for ‘me too’. 😣

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I don’t bother trying to argue or change people’s minds anymore. Not worth my mental peace. Let them think whateva

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Ughh I’m sorry 😞

Lot to unpack here

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What’s the point in sharing this post?

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Hmmm D1 - where do you see I prevented OP from venting? You see, publishing racially charged posts with zero context is violently received for some people impacted by such comments. People do it often on this app. I asked a question, OP replied she wanted to vent. We left it there not sure where the animosity comes from on your end and that A2 person.

It's worth noting that these aren't healthy mindsets, but if it's obvious actual communication isn't happening, it's better for you both to just not breach the subject. I know it can be frustrating, but there's nothing to be gained from arguing when neither side is willing to yield (even if it is or seems obvious one side is "right"). The only instance I'd say it's worth challenging them again is if others are involved (ie. you invite a friend over for dinner and the topic is raised).

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This actually makes sense. They have also given their kids white names and one of them also changed his name to a white person name. They try very desperately to fit into what they think is the rich white suburban family.

Agree with above. If anything let your SO broach the topic. I’m in an interracial relationship (I’m the minority, he’s not) and my SO’s parents have the traditional midwestern conservative thinking and lack exposure as they have never left the states/lived in major cities. Yet his mom is quite talkative (and talks as if she has seen it all) so it’s hard not to engage. However, I overheard my SO’s mom tell him that she thinks I correct her too much so now I just don’t engage to keep the peace 🤷‍♀️ It’s extremely annoying because yes, it almost feels like you’re allowing their ignorance to foster but at the same time, you gotta keep the peace (as long as their mindset isn’t affecting others outside the immediate family. However, if it does, then I would speak up). Because his mom is so talkative and doesn’t understand why she shouldn’t discuss certain topics (esp as if she’s had that lived experience as a straight white woman), I just have stopped visiting less. It has caused me less stress and I also enjoy the rare time alone at home so win-win.

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And tell them with that logic, it’s fair to assume that any man in any position only got there because of centuries of patriarchy, sexism and white privilege (for the white ones)…so actually we shouldn’t try to put effort into recruiting any men because everyone will always think they were only hired because of their gender.

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I agree with prior posters, best not to attempt to educate family, especially in-laws. If your husband wants to give it a shot, he can. There isn’t much you can say that will change their minds. Just show by example that women can be effective leaders without quotas. I formed my own opinion on the matter when during my first big interview I saw “affirmative action applicant” stamped on my resume. I got the job. I probably wouldn’t have gotten it if I were male.

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Your in-laws are ignorant, but they are also family. You won’t gain anything by pointing out their ignorance, so unless they are talking about you, just leave the room or change the subject. You’re not going to educate them.

No. You’re maintaining peace in your family. Sometimes silence says more than you can verbalize, and discretion is almost always the better part of valor.

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