{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "My manager made a joke about my disability. Would you report to HR or laugh it off? They didn’t mean anything by it, but it stung coming from a manager", "post_id": "619b11f2b482c7002d881499", "reply_count": 35, "vote_count": 7, "bowl_id": "552d1d24dc1c586b09d2d051", "bowl_name": "Consulting" }

My manager made a joke about my disability. Would you report to HR or laugh it off? They didn’t mean anything by it, but it stung coming from a manager

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At a minimum please say something to the manager. Invite them into a conversation about it to help them understand the impact. Intent may have been positive but they need to understand the impact of their words so they make better choices in the future. If not the conversation, go to HR. It’s absolutely within your right. Sending you support and sorry you experienced that from anyone, let alone someone in your leadership.

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It kind of depends on what was said and if it ever gets said again and if you feel comfortable enough with your manager to talk about it. As a general rule of thumb I would mention that it made you feel uncomfortable to your manager. If it happens again after that, then I would consider reporting it. If you do not feel comfortable for any reason you can report it now but I would let HR know in that situations it’s a 1 off and you just aren’t really comfortable talking to your manager about it. I have a disability that makes it very painful/difficult/dangerous to stand for over about 10 min (walking is mostly fine but I need to sit at events). My manager would regularly give me stress about acting like I was better than everyone and special for sitting and stuff. I talked to him about it and it continued unfortunately it continues and that’s when j brought it up to HR

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Maybe talk to your Manager first and let him know how you feel. No reason to bring in HR if this was first time.

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My bad. Thanks for pointing it out

If you don’t think it was malicious, I’d recommend speaking to them about it and explain how it made you feel and that it’s inappropriate. Document that this discussion took place (send an email to yourself). If it happens again, talk with HR and then a lawyer, if needed.

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If they didn’t mean any harm then why would you report it to HR. If as a manager I said something off the cuff that hurt your feelings, and you told me, I would feel terrible and apologize profusely.

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Provoke them to making it again and record it. Sue firm. Get paid

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I’m with D1. Go get that money, honey!

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I would. Joking about someone’s disability is not acceptable under any condition.

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People that “mistakenly” joke about about an employees disability shouldn’t be managers. What decade do you think we are in that this would be appropriate?

Some people here are too much OP said the manager didn’t say it maliciously Understand they should’ve never said it in the first place, but first reaction should always be to let the person know first before you escalate it. Furthermore it seems like it was the first time. Just let the manager know it was inappropriate. And if it happens again then you can think about potential escalation

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If you’re comfortable with your manger have a conversation about it.

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As someone with a disability, do not laugh it off. Have some respect for yourself. This is in the same line of thought as sexual harrassment. Do talk to the person asap, and if that doesn't stop, report to HR and consult a lawyer. If given the opportunity to sue, I would.

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Hmm. Not sure how that is unhelpful.

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I’m so sorry that happened to you; that’s completely unacceptable. If you’re comfortable with it, then have a conversation with them about it. If, at the end of that conversation, you don’t feel like they understand what they did was wrong and why it impacted you, then go file a complaint. The end result here should be that you leave that interaction confident that they understood and will not do it again. If that happens from a one on one convo, that’s awesome. If it doesn’t, you need to escalate. No one - manager or otherwise - should be making jokes about your disability.

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It can be really hard to give your manager very difficult feedback about something they did that hurt you- I totally understand OP’s point here. If you are not comfortable with doing that, please do seek HR’s guidance. Not in a punitive way, but asking for their help in how you can handle it with the manager. That way, HR will hear the point and can also help you to address it.

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Tbh I would. If a manager made a joke about my race (I’m black) I would report it. We would have to be pretty good friends for me to not report it, but if we’re that friendly my manager wouldn’t have made that joke.

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Being black is a disability?! Umm, no

Was it about your disability to get your work done without pls fx?

Wow so many people jumping straight to “Report to HR” and “Sue”. People in 2021 are as soft as 3 ply.

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