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Keep your vacation and tell them to kick rocks!!
What is HR going to do? I’d start with ensuring your manager knows you didn’t appreciate the questions and that you will still be taking your planned vacation.
I would not burn bridges with manager by going directly to hr. I would have told manager that i wish i could have ended my vacation early. But its so difficult to do so with family and all you know. I wish i had know about this event sooner.. like before i planned my vacation. Or may be do you think company can reimburse for my loss.. or do you think company could chime in financially if i talk to my family for rescheduling. May be like company sponsored holiday. Manager didn't do legally anything wrong. Ethically may be. But he is just questioning if you can end your vacation early and i bet many ppl would have done it just to be in good books of manager. I would tackle the situation sweetly instead of feeling revengeful. Like i would still go on vacation but make my manager feel that i wish i had a choice.. but i dont.. lol
A manager hassling you about your vacation time isn’t typically actionable by HR. They are there to protect the company, not you. Move on. You can mention it in an exit interview if you want, but again… not actionable.