{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "My maternity leave will be over in a couple months, and I’m debating staying at home full time. I’m not sure if I should go back and give myself a few weeks or a month and see how it goes, because I might change my mind. Or do I burn less bridges by not returning at all? And if so, when do I tell them? Not sure how to navigate this. (I’m in Big 4 accounting.)", "post_id": "616672f1005746002bfcce96", "reply_count": 12, "vote_count": 5, "bowl_id": "5a0c9a1f61b01a001937c406", "bowl_name": "Working Moms", "feed_type": "bowl" }

My maternity leave will be over in a couple months, and I’m debating staying at home full time. I’m not sure if I should go back and give myself a few weeks or a month and see how it goes, because I might change my mind. Or do I burn less bridges by not returning at all? And if so, when do I tell them? Not sure how to navigate this. (I’m in Big 4 accounting.)

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

Congrats on your baby! Do whatever feels right to you.

like

I'd say have a conversation with your manager. If there's a temp filling in for you who is a good fit, they may prefer you just stay gone rather than disrupt someone who is working out well. But if it's just someone internally covering your workload, they may prefer to bring you back for a short bit while you figure out if you do in fact want to stay home full time and they can begin to search for your replacement while relieving the internal person of the extra work for a few months. Communication is always key to not burning bridges, just be up front about your mindset and your hesitation to return from the beginning so that nobody gets any nasty surprises.

like

I don’t think that there is a right answer in this situation. I will say, from my experience, if you’re on the fence try going back for a couple weeks. I was nearly sure I wanted to stay home with baby but needed to return for various reasons. When I came back, I changed my mind. I explored flexible work arrangement until I was ready to be back full time. It’s what worked for me! Good luck mama!

like

I had a similar experience. I really wanted to be a SAHM but once I got back into work, I realized I enjoyed having something to stimulate my mind in a different way. The time away from my kids has actually made me a better parent. Everyone is different though. OP I see you are a manager which means you’ve contributed a lot to your career already. I’d recommend giving it a go and seeing how it feels. Then make the decision. And with the right support within the firm, an FWA is a real option.

like

Following as I’m in the same boat

like

Well you likely have to pay back any maternity leave (other than STD) plus medical contributions made by your employer if you don’t return. I went back for 2 months after having my 3rd kid before putting in my notice - I was moving to a better WLB though, not staying home. For me, personally, SAHM life is 1000x harder.

like

I agree with whatever one has said! Going back that first day or even week or two is hard and emotional. I would recommend going back for at least a little while. You can always leave later.

like

I went through the same — I ended up taking extended leave for an extra month and then had a soft return to work. I will say unlike most of the replies I still want to be a SAHM. I work remotely so see my kids more than most but the mental and emotional load of working and momming is what I want to do away with. Best of luck to you!

like

If you are going to give going back to work a try, you have to give yourself at least 6 months to a year before you make a decision. The first two weeks of going back would be the absolute hardest and would even make someone super determined to stay in the workforce want to quit. So go back and give yourself a 6 months before you start thinking about what you want to do. I have three kids and it took me two and half years after the first born to have the right system in place to make it all work.

like

I would give work a shot. I was 100% ready to retire and be a SAHM but going back to work made me realize I missed adult interactions that aren’t just about the kids. I am full time but looking to go part time to get the balance I need.

Thanks for all of the feedback!

I left for maternity thinking no biggie, I'd be back in a jiffy, and then the baby arrived and I did not ever want to leave her. Love at first sight. Me and hubby - did not see eye to eye. I wanted to quit and become stay at home and he was not on board.

When I went back - fortunately they allowed me to do part time in office, part time wfh. It was tough coordinating care but managed.

Long term -- it took me years to realize that not leaving entirely was a good thing. It allowed us to afford private school and all the wonderful extras all kids deserve. That said, it's such a personal decision, what's right for one person - is not necessarily the best fit for the next.

One thing I will say -- working parents having kids -- remember you are a parent first. Don't let the job become so important that you are not there to run and get your kids from school when sick or missing important dates. I've seen people through the years let their kids come home from school sick in a cab because Mom & Dad both work and neither could get away. I've seen friends leave for work at 7 - return at 7 - barely see their kids all week and then spend summer vacations and put them in day camps rather than spending time with them. Kids grow up quick...enjoy them as much as possible.

Related Posts

I currently max out my 401k, IRA, HSA, 529 and have general savings/investments. What do I do with extra money after that? Aiming for complete Financial Independence

like

Can any recent parent chime in? What was the best baby gift you received? My neighbors recently had a baby boy and I’d like to buy them something but I’m stumped

Big 4 audit managers who exited - how many of you exited into a role that was not related to audit or external reporting? What kind of roles were they ?

like

I don’t plan on staying in the USA for more than 6 more months, been working here for 2+ years.
How can I withdraw from 401k without losing a lot? Open to reinvesting

like

Anyone have a successful baby after first IUI or first IVF?

like

Folks, can we adopt a child as a single person?

like

What type of job duties does one do in healthcare administration? Interested in healthcare but getting tired of consulting.

like

Is Deloitte recruiting in healthcare?

like

What is the Assistant Manager (AM) CTC slab in Delottie India and other Big 4?@

like

I’m returning to work from maternity leave can someone tell me if I can reach out to HR to discuss pay review/increase upon my return. I know for a fact through colleagues I’m the lowest being paid at this company. New comers make same amount or even more. How do I initiate this convo ?

like

I noticed a moms of advertising group and thought it would be great to start a Dad version. For discussion: work/life balance, how not to miss out on your kid’s growing up, and of course, dad jokes.

like

After I’ve maxed out Roth 401k 19,500, given these two options, is it better to contribute to the after tax 401k mega back door thing (where max is 57k) or contribute and max out a Roth IRA 6k?

like

FTM here. Daughter is 10 months old. I have PPD pretty terrible. I thought I was on the upswing but yesterday and today I’ve just fallen apart. I resent having a baby and I hate being a parent. Just want to know I’m not alone and that this gets better.

like

Is it easier to make partner in MM (top10) or big 4?

What base % minimum would it take for you to move from one B4 to another?

Maternity leave at BCG and McKinsey- do you need to be at the firm a certain amount of time to qualify? What are the benefits like? Is health insurance at BCG really free?
Thanks in advnace!

like

Hello People, I am an HR with 3 years of experience and I am open to a Challenging HR role post 2.5 Years of Maternity & Nurturing Break and my Gap is costing me so much that it has started making me feel demotivated and anxious as I am not getting Interview calls. Can any Dubai Folks vouch for me for an HR Generalist or HR Manager role?

like

Hi guys

This question may not be related. However I wanted to know from personal and family point of view how it is like to relocate from India and live abroad .
Let's say Family consists of husband , wife and a kid . I understand we will get good facilities, education, cleanliness , good air etc , however I wanted to check whether people gel up easily in the new environment? Don't they feel loneliness/ difficult to adjust? Do they look for similar asian nationalities to kill boredom?

like

I'm trying to learn more about how Slalom consulting is, especially in the healthcare space in DC. What's their model like? Salaries? Levels? Work life balance? Any insights appreciated. Thanks!

like

Anyone work in the healthcare space or know about it at Alvarez & Marshall? Looking to learn more about them - thx.

like

Additional Posts in Working Moms

If you had the oppty to change things at your company to make you enjoy being there, want to stay, and do good work, what would you want? The caveat though: it has to be fair so no 1 feels slighted.

like

Anyone thinking of exchanging MMM shares for NEOG? Why or why not?

Hi Fishes,

I am a data engineer with 3 years of total experience.

Cognizant gave me an offer of 10.5 LPA.

Considering Congnizant's offer TCS is giving 10.75 LPA.

Is TCS so stingy?

Should I go for TCS or Cognizant or try other companies cause I am aware data engineers with 3 years of experience are getting 15+ LPA these days.

Please help!

like

What is the Avg and Best Payscale for QA at Dun & Bradstreet
YOE 6.5 ?

Current CTC 12.5
Expected CTC 24

like

Can any recent parent chime in? What was the best baby gift you received? My neighbors recently had a baby boy and I’d like to buy them something but I’m stumped

15+ people have left my company in the past 5 months (180 person startup) mostly due to low pay /poor management, but mainly low pay. I enjoy my role, and believe in the company to the point that I want to do something about it. Have any of you managed to help reduce turnover rate as an IC? Any suggestions on how to approach this especially since I’m not in HR?

like

Thoughts on the cultural workplace or work allocation differences between London and New York big law?

like

Any suggestions for a physical therapist trying to change careers? Having difficulty because I don’t have experience in anything else except working in an outpatient clinic.

like

Big 4 audit managers who exited - how many of you exited into a role that was not related to audit or external reporting? What kind of roles were they ?

like

I'm currently out of the office and returning Monday November 28th, for immediate assistance please dial 911.

like

Sooo, is all digital tech writing micromanaged to death with no editorial process or is it just me?

As first months go, this is terrible 😂

like

Hey all

What will be my in-hand salary after deductions ?

Post Photo
like

Hi Friends,

I had an interview at TCS last Saturday. Still now no response from HR. Got good feedback from the interviewer. Also, there are no updates in ibegin portal. Will they take time to upload or do we need to follow up with HR. Please suggest

like

Has anyone exit to Instacart? Would love to understand the culture, number of hours of work, growth opportunities. Let me know if you need more context.

like

What are your thoughts on W+K NY?

like

Shocked how long unions actually made it, but glad to see them go. If they were any good, they would have people wanting to stay... time shall tell though

like

When people ask your YOE, do you say, for example, 8 YOE with 4YOE being in consulting? Or do you just ignore the military entirely and give that 4 figure only? I understand you should calculate YOE differently on resumes and job applications (usually do not count military unless directly applicable); I am talking about informal conversations between colleagues

like

Am joining Series B startup as a Senior PM. There’s 1 head of Product, as well as 2-3 other more junior PMs. What’s an appropriate amount of stock/ownership to get? Ie how many basis points?

like

Does anyone have experience freelancing at Airbnb? I love the work they’re doing but heard it’s a grind. True? False?

like

Got my "Countdown to Accenture", but no confirmed start date yet. Am I missing something here? Accenture

Thanks for your help!

like

Additional Posts (overall)

like

When did your little ones drop their last nap? My daughter is 26 months and skipped her nap two days in a row, making me super nervous 😩

like

Need recommendations for a hands free breast pump. I have the spectra now but am thinking it might be worth the investment to get the Willow or Elvie since you basically just shove them in your bra. My cousin said the Willow really hurt her though so I’m slightly nervous about that! Anyone have a preferred brand? Or just general thoughts?

like

At what age do you let your kids drive their bikes to the local park or cross busy streets without you following them or going with them? My MIL gave me flack because I told her my children won’t be going across busy roads or down the block without me following to make sure they get there. I mean my kids are only 2 and 2 months right now but I was telling her when they are older. I think 10 and 12 are still too young for that, she told me I’m thinking too protective already. This isn’t the 90s..

like

Anyone try the belly band for postpartum? If so, what brand do you recommend?

like

Hi moms, can anyone recommend a pediatric gastroenterologist in NYC? My infant is suffering from GERD and I'm desperately trying to find help. 🙏

like

Any 🤰 moms going for babymoons? What could be the safest thing to do with the virus around (other than sitting at home)?

like

Need advice— how do you go about finding a nanny? I need to find someone part time, preferably who will do light cleaning/cooking but I have no idea where to start. Help!

like

Moms help! I have a 2 month old that is getting her first round of shots next week. This “excuse” along with covid has been allowing me to not have my MIL and SIL over my house or hold her. The problem is I don’t trust them on a normal day but enter covid and they barely follow any rules. My husband and I don’t have a good relationship with them & it’s not like they’re trying to bang down my door to see her but I don’t know what to say when they do eventually come over. We saw them a week ago...

like

I recently transitioned from working in a school setting (school hours) to full time in hospital system. Any tips on balancing the longer hours and being a mom. My husband stepped up and picks the kids up, helps with homework and starts dinner. But I feel like I don't know what is going on with them in school. By the time i get home we have dinner and then not long after they get ready for bed.

like

Hi all, how do people feel about letting their kids go back to school/nursery in September. I am starting to feel maybe I am being overly cautious for not wanting them out of the house.

like

I'm wondering if anyone else is worried about the increasing rents in their area? During my current lease rents have literally doubled and salaries haven't gone up at all. Even the most derelict places cost more than what I'm paying now. We're not in a position to buy, no family locally, husband and I got 2nd jobs. Even our teenage kids got jobs to help but still won't be enough. I'm trying to take the bar exam but don't have time to study or pay for prep course and can't afford to be w/o work

like

Hi fellow fishbowl moms! I have a situation and dont know what to do, any advice or recommendations is helpful. I have an 18 month old, financially we cant afford daycare so my mom watches here. She’ll be going away for 6 weeks (to take care of my elderly grandma living in Europe) I work hybrid (3 days in office), my husband works mid day shifts. What can I say to my job so they can accommodate for the time being? I dont want to get terminated for this. Thank you in advance!

like

IT project managers in healthcare with 4 years experience. How much can you negotiate for a salary?

like

To the moms juggling work and childcare - just wondering if there are others who feel like they have to make sure they're just as productive as their teammates. I'm not made to feel this way, I'm just so concerned about job security. My children end up having too much screen time, and I'm more sleep deprived than ever. Anyone relate?

like

Anyone considering leaving the spouse after kids go to college? I want to have a different life but feel responsible for raising kids to independence and am also not very sure about a single life.

like

My 15 mo projectile vomited yesterday right before going to bed after eating a ton of food and formula. Today she had a 102• fever, vomited whenever I fed her anything more than 3 oz —she had total of 8 oz breastmilk the whole day—slight runny nose and cough. Gave her infant Tylenol throughout the day. Called the nurse and decided not to take her to the hospital but will tomorrow. Had her nap and watch tv most of the day—never do that normally. She went to bed at 8:30 but is waking up here and

Just found out I'm pregnant with baby 2 and unsure when to tell my supervisor. I'm currently 7 weeks 5 days along.

With Baby 1 I was also moving out of the area so told my supervisor I'm moving & I'm pregnant all at once when I was about 7 weeks. But I'm not going back into the office, or moving.

When should I tell my supervisor I'm expecting?

like

Could someone help me with my non-compete? I was hired as a full time clinic manager, but, upon coming off maternity leave, want to work at a different company as a part time ( 8-12 hours) staff. Would that negate the contract? Is that still considered a “competitor”?

like

Looking to get some perspective. Do you all budget monthly & feel even with a decent income that you have everything for your basic needs & just a little extra? Having a LO in daycare now it seems like we are by no means scraping by w/ two incomes but we are not now in a position to do extra (aka luxuries like new furniture, house projects, vacations, etc) Is this fairly common when you have a LO in daycare for the next 3-4 years and possible longer if they go to a private school?

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Download Fishbowl to see what others are saying
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the Fishbowl app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Already have an account? Log in

New to Fishbowl?

image with Fishbowl logo and arms reaching out for a handshake

Already have an account? Log in

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.
Messaging rates may apply

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal