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Congrats on your baby! Do whatever feels right to you.
I'd say have a conversation with your manager. If there's a temp filling in for you who is a good fit, they may prefer you just stay gone rather than disrupt someone who is working out well. But if it's just someone internally covering your workload, they may prefer to bring you back for a short bit while you figure out if you do in fact want to stay home full time and they can begin to search for your replacement while relieving the internal person of the extra work for a few months. Communication is always key to not burning bridges, just be up front about your mindset and your hesitation to return from the beginning so that nobody gets any nasty surprises.
I don’t think that there is a right answer in this situation. I will say, from my experience, if you’re on the fence try going back for a couple weeks. I was nearly sure I wanted to stay home with baby but needed to return for various reasons. When I came back, I changed my mind. I explored flexible work arrangement until I was ready to be back full time. It’s what worked for me! Good luck mama!
I had a similar experience. I really wanted to be a SAHM but once I got back into work, I realized I enjoyed having something to stimulate my mind in a different way. The time away from my kids has actually made me a better parent. Everyone is different though. OP I see you are a manager which means you’ve contributed a lot to your career already. I’d recommend giving it a go and seeing how it feels. Then make the decision. And with the right support within the firm, an FWA is a real option.
Following as I’m in the same boat
Mentor
Well you likely have to pay back any maternity leave (other than STD) plus medical contributions made by your employer if you don’t return. I went back for 2 months after having my 3rd kid before putting in my notice - I was moving to a better WLB though, not staying home. For me, personally, SAHM life is 1000x harder.
Coach
I agree with whatever one has said! Going back that first day or even week or two is hard and emotional. I would recommend going back for at least a little while. You can always leave later.
I went through the same — I ended up taking extended leave for an extra month and then had a soft return to work. I will say unlike most of the replies I still want to be a SAHM. I work remotely so see my kids more than most but the mental and emotional load of working and momming is what I want to do away with. Best of luck to you!
If you are going to give going back to work a try, you have to give yourself at least 6 months to a year before you make a decision. The first two weeks of going back would be the absolute hardest and would even make someone super determined to stay in the workforce want to quit. So go back and give yourself a 6 months before you start thinking about what you want to do. I have three kids and it took me two and half years after the first born to have the right system in place to make it all work.
I would give work a shot. I was 100% ready to retire and be a SAHM but going back to work made me realize I missed adult interactions that aren’t just about the kids. I am full time but looking to go part time to get the balance I need.
Thanks for all of the feedback!
I left for maternity thinking no biggie, I'd be back in a jiffy, and then the baby arrived and I did not ever want to leave her. Love at first sight. Me and hubby - did not see eye to eye. I wanted to quit and become stay at home and he was not on board.
When I went back - fortunately they allowed me to do part time in office, part time wfh. It was tough coordinating care but managed.
Long term -- it took me years to realize that not leaving entirely was a good thing. It allowed us to afford private school and all the wonderful extras all kids deserve. That said, it's such a personal decision, what's right for one person - is not necessarily the best fit for the next.
One thing I will say -- working parents having kids -- remember you are a parent first. Don't let the job become so important that you are not there to run and get your kids from school when sick or missing important dates. I've seen people through the years let their kids come home from school sick in a cab because Mom & Dad both work and neither could get away. I've seen friends leave for work at 7 - return at 7 - barely see their kids all week and then spend summer vacations and put them in day camps rather than spending time with them. Kids grow up quick...enjoy them as much as possible.