My mental state has gone from an 80 to about a 30. I've been consistently having what feels like the beginnings of a panic attack whenever I think about work and I've ended up crying every day because I try focusing but it's so hard and I still don't get shit done.

Not suicidal, but it's scaring me that I'm only calm when I avoid thinking about anything. I've accepted that I need to talk to a professional but idk what to do about work. I can't and don't want to quit. But idk what to do.

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I hear you OP. I’m checking myself into a residential facility this week because I have been putting my well being off for the last 6 months and has caused me to revert to bad habits. I was making progress and doing well pre-Covid, but this has completely spiraled.

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Wishing you all the best!! I’m glad you’re able to recognize you need help right now. I don’t think any of us are alone in not being nearly as well as we were before COVID. Happy to hear you’re taking the steps you need 🙏🏻

likeuplifting

Can you take some vacation and unplug for a week or two?

I would also seek out therapy and maybe an antidepressant. Start there and see if you can make that work. You may also want to consider a short term medial LOA if that’s available to you.

I had serious anxiety and depression issues a few years ago and ended up taking off a month. It helped. I’m getting back into a dark place now and am taking a week of to clear my head.

Be kind to yourself. Try to keep in touch with people you love and who love you. Think about finding a couple other people you can bring into your bubble.

Anxiety and depression do their best to make us few isolated and alone. The pandemic makes their job that much easier. There’s lots of tools out there and I’d encourage you to use them.

Best of luck and prayers for you.

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Have a week off scheduled for labor day week - I wish I could've scheduled it sooner, but I don't really have the confidence to say rather than ask that I need time off. I'm also new to the team, so I'm still trying to gauge what everyone's work personality is like.


But thank you for the kind words, and I wish you all the best.

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First and foremost, take a few days off. The work will be there when you get back, and if it’s important enough, someone else can pick it up while you’re out. DO NOT worry about it... we all should be treating mental health like any other “sickness.” Don’t stress taking time off.

I know I have made comments before, so I don’t want to come off as being too pushy about it... but you could potentially have ADHD. I can look back and realize now that so much of my anxiety was caused by not being able to get work finished, or even started in some cases. I wasn’t diagnosed until after college, but working from home has thrown me for a loop, when I would consider my ADHD and anxiety pretty well managed prior to COVID. I 100% recommend reaching out to your primary doctor to start, and they can at least start you on any preliminary medication while waiting to talk to a psychiatrist or therapist. I’ve had a handful of days where I’ve done nothing but stare at my computer, knowing what work I need to finish, and even what I need to do to do the work, without being able to do it. I’ve changed ADHD medication because of WFH and may soon have to change my antidepressant or ADHD meds again. You’re definitely not alone right now, and people close to you will help you get through it!

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Of course! I started out seeking out help for what I thought was just depression. I had finally started my first “career” job after college that I had waited months and months after graduation to actually start and I hated it. Like dreaded the idea of going to work and had no idea how I would be able to continue doing it for 40+ years. I finally had two or three days of no sleep from thinking about it and knew that I was not happy, definitely not suicidal but not really right either? So I made an emergency appointment with my primary.

I started only with antidepressants and therapy for a few months. The therapist helped me realize that I was really just overwhelmed by change - hence anxiety. Stopped the therapy and was doing ok... Made it probably 6 months of just antidepressants but at a checkup my primary doctor actually recommended I try ADHD medication in addition to the antidepressants. And I’ve been on a combination of both ever since, almost 7 years later. My primary helped me with the antidepressants “stigma” idea... why feel awful when there are medications out there that can actually help you not feel that way. And there’s really no need to stop if you don’t want to...

I’m lucky in the fact that I’ve had the same primary care doctor since I was about 10, and she’s willing to manage my mental health meds. (I still drive close to two hours to keep her as my PCP 🤣. Telemed appointments have helped tremendously!) I know sometimes they would prefer you to see a psychiatrist for the long term, but i think that’s really up to your doctor.

Just try to find that professional! I hate trying to figure out who will be the best fit. I understand what you’re going through because I’m right there with you.

We are living in some drastic, unbelievable times. We are not used to this fear and the restrictions. It’s been over 5 months and there’s no end in sight. Get some help.

Take a few days off. Do things that make you happy. I know it’s hard but try to hang in there.

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I totally understand how you are feeling. I have my own practice and I have general anxiety disorder. In the beginning of the pandemic and during the shut down, I was in a bad state. I actually welcomed the shut down in NY. For two months I didn’t have to think about work or clients and I was so dang happy. I just needed a break. A real one. But I had to figure what it was that was causing me to feel this way and one of my issues was the type of work I was taking on. As a solo, I am able to accept the cases that I want. But I realize I was talking on cases that stressed me out and since I made a decision to get rid of those cases and to not accept a specific type of case, I’ve felt a lot better. But I’ve also had to do a lot of self care, journaling, therapy. You have to remember that this is your life and if you aren’t well, nothing you do will make you happy. Seek help, figure out what is stressing you out, journal, and just take care of you.

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